Two-round Mock Draft

[Commissioner note: this article was written before the Dez Bryant blockbuster trade that saw Dyna Hard picks transfer to the Dynasty of Sadness]

And so we enter the season of mock drafts, drafts, and draft grades.  I’ll start the speculation with the first post-NFL draft hot take – here are the players you should be drafting in the first two rounds:


1.01       Dynasty of Sadness

Despite their analytics department urging the Sadness to trade the pick for a massive haul, owner Geoffrey Manboob ejects them from the war room and sticks a broomhandle in the door. Ezekiel Elliot.


1.02        DynaForOne Firebirds

The Firebirds try to trade down and pick up Derrick Henry, but with no teams offering ‘value’, Neil is forced to go WR here. Laquon Treadwell.


1.03        East Flanders Dungeoneers

The Dungeoneers have similar RB worries, with potentially only two of their current RBs being on the 2017 roster. The Jay Gruden Siren Call proves too much however, and they draft Josh Doctson.


1.04        Dynasore Losers

The Losers’ natural antipathy to Drew Brees has them select Corey Coleman here; potentially a high-target steal at this draft position.


1.05        Champions of the Sun

With no needs at RB, the literal as well as figurative Champions select The Real Michael Thomas.


1.06        Dynasty of Sadness

Their need at RB having been sated for another year, Sadness make a less than ideal pick, in the New York Giants’ Sterling Shepherd. With OBJ already on the roster, a trade for the 1.05 with the Champions might make sense here.


1.07        Kelkowski Don’t Play By No Dyna Rules

Kelkowski are in a tight spot. It could be argued their need for receiver is greater, given the retirement of Megatron, but they go for their BPA in this position, Baltimore’s Kenneth Dixon.


1.08        Dyna Harder

With a surfeit of expensive RBs on the roster, Dyna Harder take Tyler Boyd. Pretty dull.


1.09        DynaForOne Firebirds

The Firebirds are delighted to scoop up Derrick Henry at this position.


1.10        Champions of the Sun

The Champions draft for value rather than need with this pick and select Devonte Booker, RB.


2.01        Dynasty of Sadness

The Sadness look carefully at their roster and enter risk mitigation mode – Will Fuller provides Jalen Strong insurance.


2.02        Dynasty of Sadness

Likewise, Matt Jones’ backup is selected here. Keith Marshall, RB.


2.03        East Flanders Dungeoneers

East Flanders put their fingers in their ears and hum loudly to drown out the sound of a small herd of running backs, and select Hunter Henry, TE.


2.04        Dynasore Losers

The Losers target the best RB still on the board, Paul Perkins.


2.05        DynaForOne Firebirds

Firebirds select the Oakland Raiders backup RB, and roll with DeAndre Washington.


2.06        Dynablaster Bombermen

Situation means he has slippped this far, but the Bombermen are delighted to snap up Leonte Caroo with their first pick.


2.07        Kelkowski Don’t Play By No Dyna Rules

If it’s good enough for Bill….Kelkowski go with the New England utility man, Malcolm Mitchell.


2.08        Dyna Harder

Dyna Harder select The Other Mike Thomas.


2.09        Tamworth Two

Tamworth Two blow the draft wide open and start the run on defensive players by selecting Myles Jack.


2.10        Dyna Harder

Dyna Harder ignore the incipient run on defensive players and build depth in the Chicago backfield. Jordan Howard, RB.


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