2020 Dynabowl COTY

2020 DynaBowl Coach of the Year Survey Results!

1stChris Braithwaite42
2ndMax Cubberley36
=3rdBenjamin Hendy24
=3rdJames Goodson (& Mat Ward)24
5thDavid Slater11
6thIan Kulkowski (& Jay Kelly)9
7thNeil Hawke2*
=8thBen Archer (& Stewart Carter)1
=8thPete Conaghan1
10thGeoffrey Manboob0
*Neil Hawke was docked 1 point for awarding 16 points rather than 15 on his ballot

1st Place – Chris Braithwaite – Dyna Hard

Pleasantly surprised with how well my team has done this year. Expected to rebuild, ended up competing. It helped that Ben [Archer] outbid me on bad free agent RBs (Lindsay and Bell)

Keeps smashing the teams out. Amazing WR corps

The people’s champion, largely because he has to fail in the playoffs so he won’t be the real champion. The year he was should have an asterisk beside it. Disgraceful scenes.

In all seriousness, a consistent competitor who knows how to value a player, making him exceptionally difficult to trade with at times. I have submitted rule suggestions to stop some of his CB bullshit.

Started the year in rebuild / selling mode but somehow wound up in the playoffs. Got a 1st + for Drake then stole James Robinson from Neil

Always in the mix.

Putting up consistent scores and that’s what matters

Playoffs in a rebuilding / reloading year with a bunch of draft picks to come, rarely drafts badly.

His perseverance and tenacity is paying off. Let’s see if post season history repeats itself…

I didn’t buy into the pre-season anti-hype about Chris being shit but, even so, he had to turn around a terrible start and went on a massive charge to nearly steal the #1 slot.


2nd Place – Max Cubberley – Champions of the Sun

Solid. Perhaps not the worthiest of Tim champions, but can’t complain about yet another winning season and yet another playoff appearance. Another title beckons?

Old guys get it done. Until they get injured and the team tails off badly and loses in the playoffs.

New phone, who dis?

Claims he doesnt know what he’s doing but his vets show up for him

Cruised into the playoffs by getting average scores each week. Over reliant on Cook and Kelce

Solid as ever.


Good solid team basically being elevated by Kelce, Cook and Lamar. Will be interesting to see what he can do next year!

Most surprising performance of the year

Strong once again, Max is going to WIN IT ALL

=3rd Place – Benjamin Hendy – Dynablaster Bombermen

Overcome a devastating injury crisis to make the playoffs so plaudits for that. Got a few easy wins plus the stat correction victory over slate

Ridden his luck and injuries well

Felt he was going to do much better, but still in the hunt once again.

I was distracted in free agency and did a shit job, though largely happy with the defence and RBs. WR and QB were glaring weaknesses. The loss of half my defence to injury didn’t really help matters.

Scoring was all over the shop – some massive weeks and some dire ones.

Not a good roster, over reliant on Aaron Donald’s eliteness, but too many positions where there’s just not good starters or depth. Particularly WR.

He’s got unlucky with injuries, but still a solid team. Wouldn’t like to play them in the playoffs.

Ben got hit hard with injuries and still managed to make the playoffs.  That’s got to be worth something.


Great time for injured players to come back

Great achievement getting to the playoffs and not having a champion implode

=3rd Place – James Goodson (& Mat Ward?)

Winners of the NFC East, I mean Peter. Not the greatest claim to fame. A solid year started to fall apart at the end. Can they get an elusive second ring for Peter? If they do, it may be with a performance like the one that got the real Peter his second.

A pity point. James continues to find good value on defence, but the top half of this team is pretty weak, and offence is more sustainable year to year

Got some good defensive players and has really gone all in for it this year. I feel like there are no outstanding teams this year, so he has a chance, but in a normal year his team is probably first round playoff exit fodder.

I’d give myself minus points if I could for the salary oversight. Shame as I think I’ve had a very solid, if unspectacular year with a couple of standouts each week to keep me in the hunt.

Great job as usual, lots of hilarious potential to be the famous Bills super bowl bridesmaid team


Great pre-season signings, great in-season signings and strong management.  The COTY for me.

Deservedly in the playoffs but needed to go over the cap to do it so anything they achieve will be null and void. Gave up too much for some late season additions

Would get more [points] if they weren’t the Slytherin of the league.

5th Place – David Slater – Dynasore Losers

Deserves credit for the points scored etc, but equally shat the bed in week 13 and won’t shut up about losing on a stat correction. Never has a fantasy team name been more appropriate.

Like Ben, Slatz got done by injuries but powered through and had a scary team that I was happy didn’t make the playoffs for my own sake.  Loses a point compared to Ben for not making the playoffs.


Can’t vote for myself. Wouldn’t anyway.

Won the wr lottery but lost the RB roulette.

Ridiculously unlucky. Lovely roster but reliant on star players and when they get injured, he’s screwed.  

Deserves a point for effort. Got hammered with injuries and has a good team going forward. But then we say he’s got a good team going forward every year, and he never does anything.

It is quite funny that his lengthy contract purge and pick accumulation brought together a team that could have won it all and didn’t make the playoffs. Long may it continue.

Really expected more from the Losers this season.

Once the team gels he will be unstoppable. For a year, maybe

Fucked it, probably the best team, but fucked it

6th Place – Ian Kulkowski (& Jay Kelly?)

I think this was a playoff calibre roster and they’re not in the playoffs. Nil poits. [sic – I looked this up and apparently it stands for Piss On It, Tomorrow’s Saturday]


Lots of potential, but another unfortunate team.

Tough competitors, left it too late to make the playoffs but another solid season. I do sometimes look through their roster and wonder how the fuck they’ve done it. It’s not all Mahomes, right?

Came on strong at the end of the year, and a decent enough roster, but nothing really special.

High point scorers but too inconsistent

Great effort given the unpromising base

Ian and maybe-Jay had a very strong team that came on well at the end of the season.  Just a token point though because I feel they should’ve beaten Ben to the playoffs.

Top scorers and should be in the playoffs. What the hell happened!?

7th Place – Neil Hawke – Hawkesville Hurricanes

Neil always manages to defy the odds and not be awful.  Every year I think he’s going to be nailed on for the #1 seed but he pulls it together.

Fair play to Neil for remaining competitive against the odds. Some shocking trades



Always exceeds expectations despite minimal squad rotation and maximal cornerbacks. Not entirely clear how he manages it but he does.

I feel like he needs to blow his team up and start again, just to get rid of all the expensive useless veterans.


Probably deserves a point for being competitive with that roster. Constantly finds valuable contributions from late round picks that nobody even imagined would do anything. Murdered all his LBs.


=8th Place – Ben Archer (& Stewart Carter) – Here Comes The Brees

Underperformed the level of his admittedly not great roster.

Unfortunate is the word for the Brees. But given that they still stacked in a few strong games.

I mean, it’s a down year, but some good signs from some rookies and second year players that we’re going the right way

Finally a co-GM who might be able to save him from himself. In some ways a bit too negative about his team, which can be tiring, but, to be fair, his assessment is largely spot on.

Built some foundations in the draft but fucked up the cap and left way too much spare this year this wasting a massive opportunity for future years. Basic

He made some decent draft picks, probably should have tanked harder though.

Lots of rookies but nothing special again

Will definitely come good next year


Sorry, lads.  Got a raw deal this year.  Not sure what you could have done about it but, whatever it was, you didn’t do it.

=8th Place – Pete Conaghan – East Flanders Dungeoneers

A win, a loss in the final and then this. Rules himself out of a potential dynasty in my book. Shame.

The winners curse strikes again! But Pete will be back very soon I’m sure.

Massive regression from Downtown Pete, cap situation looks sticky but he’s got his dbowl win out of it and what price can you put on that?

Pete’s proven he can rebuild successful[ly] and he’ll need to do it again. Shambles

What is worse than terrible? The team fell apart a year ahead of plan.

A real step back for him this year, but he’s got some stars on offense, so could be dangerous next year again.


Gave up on the year way too early. Some egregiously obvious tanking.

Some dodgy contracts in there, could perhaps use a long hard look in the mirror before the next off-season.


10th Place – Geoffrey Manboob – The 4th Dynmension – Dynasty of Sadness


What the fuck happened? A few seasons back they were leading the league in all-play, now…? I mean, this is genuinely awful. I don’t understand, even given covid, how they could be so bad.

Worse than me, that’s saying something.

i mean, this is worse than when Slatz tanked right? he just doesn’t try any more


Awful. Possibly the worst season in the history of the league.

Awful, awful, awful team. Might be better next year with Thomas healthy and JuJu elsewhere, but it looks like a bit of a project.

The less said, the better

Just when you think manboob couldn’t get any worse!

Mark would be turning in his grave.

The NFL Season

What was the highest high?

Alex Smith’s leg surviving giving Aaron Donald a piggy back

Kickoff of week 1. Didn’t think it would happen. Generally, teams being Covid safe and keeping the whole thing going has been great.

I’ve enjoyed seeing the Titans do well

Recency bias says Gregg Williams cover 0 to lose the Jets the game, though it might have been funnier if they’d won and been behind the curve for the number 1 pick. Poor Trevor Lawrence.


Cam’s lederhosen were probably the highlight for me

Saints beating Falcons twice with Taysom QB’ing

I’m really struggling, it’s not been a vintage season. The Hail Murray?

That D Hop Hail Mary catch

Personally I have enjoyed watching Teddy Tinyhands have some success finally

And the lowest low?

That QB sneak by the Chargers was pretty bad

Some terrible inconsistent officiating

Kareem Hunt still being a thing

The handling of the Ravens and Titans outbreaks. Everything about Dallas.

Losing our perfect season to Washington

As always, the injuries.

Dak’s injury was horrible to see

All the injuries, but if I had to pick one, I’d say Dak. I want to know how many yards he would have passed for.

Brees injury

I’ve not really watched enough to be more annoyed with anything than usual

What one thing does the NFL need to change (not Covid related), more than anything else?

Full guarantees on salaries

Add a ref who can see replays/TV angles and overrule obvious errors.

The amount of injuries as a result of poor off seasons was ridiculous

Scheduling. I think first, Thanksgiving and last games of the season should be divisional rivalry games

Still Rog.

Make every play reviewable

Replay. It’s better than most sports, but I’d like to see replay officials given more leeway to look at stuff that can’t be challenged but might have been obvious and missed.

Still the same – make it quicker

I dunno, probably something concussion related still

And Captain Hindsight says the NFL should have done what differently in light of Covid?

Not had a season. It was a pointless risk

Cancel the whole thing

They should probably just not have done any of it.

20 week regular season – every team gets 4 byes, allows more games to be on a national broadcast, allows more flexibility when teams get struck down with the lurg, completely fucks fantasy up though.

Spread the schedule out to allow games to be cancelled and moved more easily. Ban the Ravens.

Extend the season

They did ok, I think? Was sure it was going to be a catastrophe.

More flexible scheduling

They needed to plan for some of the obvious issues, such as outbreaks and delayed games better. Extra bye weeks, reserved weekend etc and set rules beforehand for what would lead to a cancellation or postponement.

I’ve been generally impressed by the organisation, notwithstanding some horrible scheduling issues and seeing that some players & coaches clearly can’t wear a mask properly. Pulling off a full season under these conditions is impressive.

Superbowl predictions! 3 People refused to pick the winner. As per usual.

Chiefs over Packers. I mean, it’ll be Chiefs over someone and it don’t be the Saints because they are doomed to lose playoff games in hideous manners, worse even than the Packers are. Wait, the NFC representatives are going to be the Giants, aren’t they. Fuck this season.

Chiefs will beat the Saints.

Chiefs over rams

Chiefs / 49ers – Chiefs

Chiefs v Saints. Chiefs to win

Bills v Packers

Bills and Saints.

Titans v Seahawks. Titans to win.

Chiefs Vs Seahawks

Kansas wins over a garbage NFC team, probably Green Bay. Which says a lot about where the NFC is at that they’ll win it.

Onto the Dynabowl!

Who makes the final? Who wins it?

Champions vs Tamworth Two – Champions to win

Champions will beat Bombermen


Chris over Max. It’s not going to Peter.

Chris over Max

Benj will beat Goody.

Goody v Ben, who will win

T2 over bombermen

Dyna/Sun – Dyna to win it all

Goody will beat me. [narrator – he didn’t]

Best Dynabowl Moment

slatz tanking for three years to then not make the playoffs

Slatz’s litany of close losses has been fun. Also, Justin Jefferson’s existence.

Any time Slatz loses on a stat correction is going to be a highlight. The fact that it directly led to him missing the playoffs makes it even better. Him posting the lowest score of week 13 is a close second.

In 2019? Cancelling the loan trade thing?

something something Slatz statz loss

I know what everyone else will say. Fuck you all.

Topping a 220 score in week 1

Stew coming on board and turning the Brees around. Wait…

Stew joining the team!

For me, the trade of Harold Landry from TT to Max and then TT beating Max, only to see a stats correction of Landry getting a PD and Max winning by a point

Worst Dynabowl-related moment?

Mike. Just Mike. For the whole year.

Geoff’s team.

The whole season

the whole year?

The rest of my season

Either my own ineptitude missing future guaranteed money or Slatz, every week, moaning or just stating why he’s not won. “If I’d have started my 7th string WR who got a garbage time TD, I would have won this match and been in the final”. Every week

Slatz’s season being derailed by injuries. Would have made an interesting playoff team

I don’t know – when I thought Slatz might make the playoffs?

Injuries. It was pretty rough

All of the injuries de-railing everyone.  A lost season really.

Most valuable fantasy player

1st – Dalvin Cook – 4

2nd – Patrick Mahomes – 3

3rd – Travis Kelce – 2

4th – Aaron Donald – 1

Fantasy rookie of the year

1st – James Robinson – 5

2nd – Justin Herbert – 2

=3rd – Antonio Gibson, Justin Jefferson, Chase Young

Best pre-season signing

No idea

i dont remember any

TJ Watt

Can’t look beyond TJ Watt here can you?

I’ve done minimal research so I’ll just say Marlon Humphrey (that’s Marcus Peters to you, Goody). One of the few CBs that seem to perform consistently from one season to the next. I wanted him. I didn’t bid enough. He’s scored some points.

Za’darius smith

Jason Pierre Paul

Teddy Tiny Hands Bridgeater

I’m not bothering to look that up. It’ll be some bullshit wide receiver like Marvin Jones who is top 30 for like 4 dollars. Or Tim Brady when he’s not playing the Saints.

Best in-season signing

Karen Curl [I don’t understand this answer]

Cole Beasley

James bradberry

Oluokun (though as i also dropped him right before the seasons its also the daftest move)

Mike Davis would seem like the obvious answer, but then everyone wanted him and Goody just bid the most. The key to this, I feel should be someone picked up under the radar who’s done well. I’ve briefly looked through and come up with Fouesade Oluokun, LB, Brees/Falcons.

Jerrick McKinnion

Mike Davis

Mike Davis

See above. I could name my own – David Onyemata has been a good DT from nowhere really. Mike Davis has been reasonable value, but he’s properly stalled in the second half.

What does it take to be classified as a Dynasty?

Back to back to back wins

I think a 5 year streak of playoff appearances and a couple of wins, or 3 consecutive wins.

3 wins and more

Back to back titles and at least a 4 year run in the playoffs

Multiple wins.

Two Owl wins plus an additional playoffs in a 3 year period as a minimum, so Pete was kind of halfway there. I guess you could stretch it to 2 Owls, plus a playoffs, plus a winning record but missing the playoffs over 4 years, but you’re probably looking to bookend that with the wins. Back to back wins, but without the playoffs either side is close, but perhaps not quite enough.

Two wins in three years would do it, I think, given the randomness and the fact we’ve had a different winner every year

3 straight playoffs with 1+ owls. So no. Nowhere near

50/50 luck rather than judgement. Treat it as a redraft and spend over your cap [did you understand the question?]

By cheating

Based on your definition, who’s going to be the first t achieve a dynasty?

=1st – Dyna Hard, Dynablaster Bombermen – 3 votes

=3rd – Tamworth Two, Champions of the Sun, Here Comes The Brees, Hawkeville Hurricanes (entered as Firebirds) – 1 vote each

Honestly, did you just not choose Slatz because you didn’t want to give him the satsfaction?

No, I’ve built a good team, but it’s a long way from a dynasty and those dudes are going to need to get paid.

No, because he has made losing an art form.

He’s never satisfied anyway

In part, yes. But also because I have no idea who’ll manage it. Fantasy is largely too random.

Have to go with the best odds here, given my definition (two wins in three years). Benj.




No, he’s a long way from my definition.

No, the statz correction god’s would not allow it

Make the Chatterbowl an auction league!

I do not understand why it isn’t already


Why not


I will not be cancelled! There is no place for progressivism in football

fuck right off


Nope, nada

Over my dead body

Nothing to do with me.

What about conference calling the Dynabowl rookie draft then?

Yes. But everyone on at the same time needs months of planning.

Obviously. This would be incredible. People will never go for it though.

A week long zoom call? Err sure?



I’ll do it if I have to.  If there’s a vote I’ll abstain, I like the way it is currently but if others want to do it this way, that’s fine.

This might be just the motivation I need to lose 30 pounds and regrow my hair. No.

nope, takes too long

I like having some time for some picks to think over the options while others spend four hours delaying.

No. I’ve got a lawn to now and respect from my wife to keep. [there’s no need to lie – none of us are respected by anyone]

Change the name of an NFL penalty call for amusing purposes…

Illegal use of hams, hams to the face.

Rename holding on a DE or DT to “letting the tackle/end get inside you.” Cos penis.

Intentional rounding. You know that bit of extra length some players try to gain when they go to ground? Like they want to get the extra 0.4 yards by stretching their arm while laying down. Well, that’s now illegal.

Intentional grinding

Arse interference

Inelegant man downfield

Illegal touching (yes, this is real, it just doesn’t need changing)”

(no) facemask

I do not have the imagination for this right now.

no thanks [that’s the spirit!]

Intentional pounding. For teams who’ve clearly tanked a match up

A Cavalier (formerly Helmet to Helmet Collision)

Roughing the knickers

Unnecessary Gruffness! I have no idea what I’m doing.

What is the best novelty song?

Counties of the World – The Animaniacs
Right Said Fred – Bernard Cribbins
Star Trekkin’ – The Firm
The Elements Song – Tom Lehrer
Still Alive – Jonathan Coulton (feat Sara Quin) (from Portal)
Winner – Right Said Fred, Bernard Cribbins

Anything by the Darkness?

The Monster Mash

Tenacious D – Beelzeboss

The Macarena has a massive enduring cringe factor. Think of all those public displays (Congress etc)

Mr Blobby

That sausage roll one

I reject your term.  But it’s Superman by Black Lace.

One Track Lover

Safety Dance

We’re twenty percent of the way through the 21st century. Time is getting away from all of us. Where do you want your ashes scattered?

Inside the Dynabowl Owl. [the correct answer, and not mine]

Wow that’s deep. I want my remains to be donated to science

Nowhere. I want them in an urn on a dusty shelf, judging you all

Canada the Rocky mountains

Buried please. In a cardboard box. Plant a tree on top of me. None of this embalming malarkey. It it has to be ashes, blast them into space.

On the moon

Attached to a weather balloon to be released once popped

Torres del Paine, Chile. 

In a coffin that’s buried underground at a cemetery

I’ll be the last human alive on Earth after the apocalypse consumes us all.  There will be no-one left to scatter my ashes.

Anything else I should have asked?

As always, you’re a good man, and thorough.

Given that God is infinite, and that the universe is also infinite… would you like a toasted teacake?

No, all good as usual.  High calibre stuff.




Who is the best/worst to trade with? Who adds the most/least to the discord chat? Which of these pictures of Tom Brady is sexiest?

How big is your cyberpunk character’s dick

Make it shorter

Why is this form so long?

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