Kelkowski Don’t Play By No Dyna Rules

The town of Kelkowski, Idaho, was founded in 1856 by Jan Kelkowski who, immediately after buying the land, declared independence form the US government and enshrined the land as a sovereign state, saying “I don’t care who those [expletive deleted]’s in Washington are, or what they’ve done for us, I ain’t playing by their [expletive deleted]ing rules.”

The town returned to the Union in 1956, under great duress, though the town’s inhabitants will make it very clear to any visitors they are entering a lawless world. Though not recognised in the rest of the United States, Kelkowski was the first place in America (and the world) to offer gay marriage, as early as 1968, though they are currently debating outlawing it as soon as it is made legal in all 50 states.

Other unusual laws (or lack thereof) in Kelkowski include mandatory nude high school yearbook photos, you do not need a driving licence to drive, and if you had your fingers crossed when you did it, it’s not a crime.

The team name is paying respect to Jan Kelkowski by not playing to the normal rules of US sports team naming conventions.

GM Ian Kulkowski and Head Coach Jay Kelly are mavericks. They zig when others would zag. They swing when others would roundabout. They lose when others would win. The only thing to expect with them is the unexpected. They don’t play by no kinda rules. Except the DynaBowl rules. Everyone plays by them.

Champions22016, 2021
Runners Up0
Third Place12022
4th22014, 2015
6th22019, 2020

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