2017 Dynabowl COTY

2017 DynaBowl Coach of the Year Survey Results!

Place Coach(es) Points
1st Geoffrey Manboob 50
2nd Chris Braithwaite 44
3rd Neil Hawke 25
4th Benjamin Hendy 13
5th Max Cubberley* 13
6th Pete Conaghan 8
7th Ben Archer & Dan Sayles 4
8th James Goodson & Mat Ward 2
9th Ian Kulkowski & Jay Kelly 1
10th David Slater 0

*Max only awarded a total of 10 points out of the 15 he should have allocated and therefore loses the tiebreaker in the voting

1st Place – Geoffrey Manboob

The best team in the league. Somehow top scored while having a negative goal difference. Robbed Goody and Matt blind on the OBJ trade.

Some good drafts are paying dividends

Consistently fantastic

Made some good draft picks. Hard to see much in the way of weaknesses all year.

It’s nice that it still says Mark’s name up there. He will live on in our hearts for all time. Mangboob has built a great team and plowed rightfully to the final. The raping of T2 on OBJ was the icing on the cake.

Made the final, clearly did something right, no clue what though [How could you know he was in the final when you completed this before the playoffs started???]

Fantastic turnaround and a solid GM. Been in the wilderness for a while and is now could be on a long term success trajectory.

Fucking awful

Arguably the best team this season. A remarkable turnaround. A well constructed rebuild after a poor auction. They are the Jags.              It’s been a long building process for the sadness but years of stockpiling picks could now be about to pay dividends. My bet is yes!

RIP Mark.


2nd Place – Chris Braithwaite

One of the two best teams. Has been trending upwards ever since Steve was added to the team. Coincidence?

Another solid year from Dyna Hard. Furiously working the wavier wire as ever. Will it be enough this time? Probably not.

Dangerous is the word I’d use for them, on both sides of the word. They can be an utter powerhouse one week and then so random the next.

Is steve involved any more? Recent performance suggests not.

Really good

Has anyone heard from Steve recently? I haven’t.

Interested to see how Chris reloads this offseason.

Worked that wire like a boss.

Chris’ recruitment powers steamroll on and the Hard still have the most stacked roster in the league. Can’t help but feel he’ll still never win it though.

Did well to stay competitive

Credit to them persevering, and hope the post season doesn’t implode once again.

I don’t know how they manage to churn players like they do. They’ve had more players in and out than I’ve had hot dinners. This year it seems to have paid off so great news for the boys.



3rd Place – Neil Hawke

Where did Neil come from? Under the radar as usual Neil’s steady performance gave the original champion a return to the playoffs. Can he win it all again??? Probably not

I’m not sure how this happened, but a division title and the chance to become the first double champion.


Next season will be tough

Neil is fucked completely after this season surely? Still, he went all out for this year and his team was a juggernaut by the end that just slipped at the wrong time.

A good solid team

Neil is not going to win it all. Impressive turn around though, from an awful season last year to winning Tim.


Back in the playoffs!

Consistently good

He’s assembled probably the most start-studded team in the league. Very solid work.

4th Place – Benjamin Hendy

I really thought the B-men would be right up there this year but then I think that every year and they never are. You’d think I’d know better by now.

Solid coaching

Two steps forward, one step back at almost every turn.

Still no playoff berth for the commish’. [Apart from 2016 when his team made the playoffs?] Despite MFL trying to put him there. Same every year – good but not good enough

Consistently decent. Unlucky to miss out on the playoffs.

Unlucky not to make the playoffs

Another strong season here from our Commish, with a late season wobble. Can’t fault Ben on his choices and selections.

Arguably one of the best, most talented rosters in the league. Always finds a way to fail to make the playoffs. Obviously that’s a clear sign of bad coaching by the White Hue Jackson.      Tried to sneak (cheat) into the playoffs, shocking behaviour



5th Place – Max Cubberley

Suffering the Curse of the Owl, Max has done a great job fighting back. Credit to him for managing a tricky one.

Unlucky to miss the playoffs.

Unlucky with injuries

Top scorer and looked the most powerful throughout the season. 1-4 finish cost them the deserved playoff spot.

When Max gets all his players back off IR he may well be in breach of the roster limit.


Either scoring massively or terribly – a more inconsistent team you could not find.

Struggled with injuries, did well considering

Fuck this guy.



6th Place – Pete Conaghan

Pete lives with his legacy and battles on. Huge Kudos for his work to float the sinking ship.

Trending upwards. 6 wins. Third place in the division. Mediocrity, thy name is Pete.


Eventually could be good

A big improvement


The Dungeoneers looked like they were threatening a winning season at one point but a 2-4 finish meant the wait goes on. Continued improvement but it’s time to start winning!

Not worst any more. Finally recovering from the Belgian Sex Waffle Philing of their original roster. At this rate a possible playoff contender in another five to ten years.

He’s done a good job turning a laughing stock into a pretty ok team


The pity points for Pete continue as he inches closer towards a viable franchise. I feel like a winning season isn’t a million miles away now.


7th Place – Ben Archer & Dan Sayles

Treading so much water. They will undoubtedly make the playoffs at some point in the next few years, because Peter is pretty terrible and someone has to qualify from there.

Showed some promise early on, even went for it trading away a few picks but ultimately a failure.

Very erratic scoring

Having finally collected some WRs worthy of starting, the rest of their roster is bollocks.


Terrible people.

We struggled second half – nuff said

Apparently just having 20 wide receivers isn’t enough, some of them actually have to be good. The Brees have had a bit of bad injury luck that forced them out of contention really

Bold moves didn’t pay off this year. Obviously Dan is the brains behind the operation. Terrible draft

Some of the woes here are luck based, as feel they should’ve done so much better. Think the coaching is sound but maybe some roster decisions haven’t helped. B-

It feels like they are slowly building towards something. Unfortunately that something seems to be the #1 pick.

8th Place – James Goodson & Mat Ward

Terrible team. Lost AA Ron then decide to tank. Somehow managed to win Tim despite being 3rd lowest scorers. A complete aberration surely?

If you’re going to cheat, cheat well

3rd lowest scorers in the league, all-play well below .500, incapable of giving anyone in Tim a match and spawned the playoffs by virtue of two stat corrections. The worst.

Feels like it should’ve been better for them, but they’ve barely squeaked a .500 despite looking like a favourite pre season.

Dreadful rulebreakers

The dodgy dealers of the dbowl continue their suspect traditions with some dubious point correction victories but couldn’t by their way to the final.


Trading you best RB an WR to win the division should not be mentioned

Not winning shit. Third lowest scorers fluked the division.

I feel like they backed into the playoffs on the weaknesses of others, rather than on their own quality. They have good DTs, but their MVP has definitely been the stat correction people.

T2 will never win anything.

9th Place – Ian Kulkowski & Jay Kelly

Ironically after sixteen* straight seasons of Chatterbowl ineptitude, both of these guys got their shit together. And promptly shit the bed in the Dynabowl. The worst championship defence ever.

Not the best season

It’s scary what this pair are capable of with the number 1 pick


Getting the #1 pick is good I guess.

We’ve not been good.

An impressive feat of collapsation. Clearly that owl was just a fluke. I hope they enjoyed it while it lasted.

Amazingly bad turnaround


Disastrous season for the duo, not much more to say. Not all on the coaches but shame.

A point for preventing David from getting the first pick. If they get more than this single point then you lot have gone very, very wrong.

10th Place – David Slater


Tough year for the Losers, but David will bounce back. Riddled with issues, almost feels like a total rebuild is needed.

An awful team that failed at tanking. He did some ok work getting extra draft picks, but his team has been getting worse for years.

Even failed to tank properly

Imagine being this bad for this long.

I can’t even do losing right.

Slatz finally accepted it was full rebuild time and has accumulated picks well. If he uses them effectively he may get some points next year.

Bombed with aplomb. Top scoring while in firesale mode. Well done to Slatz

Just awful.

Too much trading

The losers shambolic roster finally came tumbling down! Then they started winning! Can’t even tank well.


The 2017 NFL Season in Review!

Highest High

The Cutler Wildcat: Sit there, don’t get hit, don’t touch anybody, don’t move. I feel like I executed that one. [The correct answer. I am ashamed I didn’t give it]

Patriots losing opening game to Chiefs

The Chiefs beating the Pats in the opener

The snow game

Pretty much any moment with Sean McVay

I actually started rooting for the Jags who seemed to be doing quite well

The massive FU to the Wigged One in Chief when players knelt in solidarity

Saints actually remembering how to play D

Kneeling protests for the national anthem

The contract extension for Rog.

Case Keenum getting it done. Love me some Keenums


Lowest Low

Trump! Dick

Dallas winning games

Chargers losing to Dolphins at home on a missed FG. Dolphins!

The randomness of suspensions.

The national anthem saga. Why people can hate a legitimate protest is beyond me

Most of the games in the first 10 weeks

Jerry Jones has outdone himself this year

Zach Miller’s gut wrenching injury

everything else

Orange Donald hijacking the police brutality protests.

The neverending stream of injuries, the league taking over the anthem protests, Jerry Jones being an utter twat.

What one thing does the NFL need to change, more than anything else?

Not sure where to start.

Legitimate protest. Owners interfering with what their players can and cannot do.

Consistency in discipline

With CTE, it’s looking like they’ll need to shut the whole thing down

I hear there have been some issues with gamepass?

Consistency of rules (and simplify)

The whole penalties and punishments thing.

Concussions need to be treated more seriously. And illegal hits that cause concussions too.

drop the national anthem

Not have fucking cunt owners

I honestly don’t know where to start.


Who’s going to be playing in the Superbowl, come February, and which of those teams will win?

Vikings-Chargers. Hopefully the Chargers, who I openly acknowledge I highly unlikely to get there. I just don’t want to endorse the Pats or Steelers.

The Browns are going to win it all! Just kidding. Jags v Vikings

Pats V Vikings. Vikings win

Pats/Vikings – Vikings win

Steelers v Vikings

Steelers v Panthers. Steelers will win.

Pittsburgh v LA Rams – Pittsburgh to win

Jags over rams

Chargers Vs rams

Rams-Pats. Pats to win.

Patriots Saints – Patriots will win


DynaBowl Awards now…

Who is going to win the Superb Owl? Who will they face in the final?

[Answered listed chronologically. You might be able to figure out the point at which people knew who was in the final]

Firebirds v Hard. Hard to win

Dyna Hard

Chris vs Mike. Chris will finally win, and mean that the first 4 Owls have each gone to different teams in Tim.

Sadness over hard

Oh. Right. I should have filled this in before the playoffs started. Because I was going to say Firebirds over Dyna Hard.

Mike will win v Chris

Chris and Mike. Mike will win

Sadness over Dyna


Chris vs Mike. Chris to win it all.

Mike is going to beat Chris.


Dynabowl related best moment

David tanking and not getting the number 1 pick.

Beating Kelkowski to screw myself out of the top pick. T2 not winning shit.

Stat corrections baby!

Stat corrections, frustrating and glorious in equal measure

Stat corrections

The stat correction victories.

Making the playoffs on a technicality

Two Peter teams making the playoffs

Hitting over 220 score

Free agency and the draft. There was hope then

Ian’s father in law fixing the Owl.


Worst Dynabowl related moment

Goodys 4 game stat-adjusted winning streak to put him in the playoffs

Tamworth’s stat correction heists

T2’s stat correction victories. Cruel

Losing 2 very close games by under 1 point

I can’t think of anything bad that’s really happened. I guess all then injuries to good players.

David having to resort to tanking so early. I know why but it’s just a shame to see a team in firesale so early

Beating Kelkowski to cost myself the top pick

Losing to the very worst team in all of dynabowl history…..the losers

20 point stat correction loss

Going first to worst

Me breaking the Owl.


Most Valuable Player

=1st – Rusty Wilson (2 votes)

=1st – Antonio Brown

=1st – Todd Gurley

=4th – Alvin Kamara, Cameron Jordan Cameron Jordan Cameron, David Rivers, Leveon Bell, Kareem Hunt (1 vote)


Rookie of the Year

1st Alvin Kamara – 9 votes

=2nd DeShaun Watson – 1 vote

=2nd Marcus Lattimore – 1 vote


Best Pre-Season Free Agent Signing

1st Adam Thielen – 3 votes

2nd David Irving – 2 votes [“my strategy going forward is just to bid on every DT Bean bids on. He can’t pick receivers to save his life, but the man is a DT savant.”

=3rd Alex Smith, AJ Bouye, Suh (LOL), Kevin Byard, Yannick Ngakoue – 1 vote each

Also receiving a vote “No Clue”


Best In-season Free Agent Signing

Everyone’s a winner, baby! In that no one received more than one vote. The responses were as follows:

Jimmy Graham by Dyna Hard

The 3 CBs that Chris picked up every week

Tre’davious white

Jermaine Kearse

Vincent Williams but I’m biased

Tredavious White? Who cares?

no one stands out

Your mom

Will Lutz

Alex Collins

Oh, right, Tre’davious White wins. Sorry. Well done Tre’davious.


The league is a seasoned veteran now. Who’s set up to make the playoffs in 2019. 2020 and 2021?


1st Dynasty of Sadness – 5 votes

=2nd East Flanders Dungeoneers – 2 votes

=2nd Dynablaster Bombermen

=4th Tamworth Two, Dyna Hard

Any team building comments?

We’re all shit

Mike and Chris have built really well and Pete’s come along way since the sex dungeon. Neil is going to feel the pinch I think.


Chris has done well to stay competitive but will be interesting to see the Losers progression over the next two years

Most expensive: Neil. Thinnest Depth: David. Most likely to have a death in their midst: Either Brees or Max, given the volume of IR entries. Best drafter: No one.


Thought that The Brees would do much better this year but think part of that is rough luck.

Things change so fast. Team building is for chumps

Chris remains strong in picking up talent, and this time it’s paid off.

Chris is consistent

Pete is doing well considering he is still battling with the legacy of his team

Slatz’s has been dreadful.

We’re all shit, it’s almost like there’s no skill involved


Other Matters

I’m going to keep banging this drum until you all agree… The Chatterbowl should be an auction rather than draft, right?


No. One is enough


We should do both. MORE LEAGUES

I don’t care.


Give it up already grandpa

Ben, have the GFY award.




Last year there were two of you who said yes, this year, 5. We’re trending up, baby!


We should have have the rookie draft live one year. Where should it be held? I hadn’t meant to include this question again. We answered it last year. Sorry.

At and during another live sporting event such as a one day international, for added chaos



Name the place and I’ll be there

North Korea

Conveniently close to me


The midlands. just makes sense for everyone involved….probably birmingham



Wherever is the most convenient for the most people. So Sheffield. Four of us live here already.


We all experienced profound grief when Jay gave his son a normal name. What should his punishment be?

It’s not too late to give the boy a spurious ‘known-as’ name such as Ha-Ha

The next one is called Chalupa Batman

To change his own name by depoll.

Change his own name by deed poll to J’ay

Drop the apostrophe from his name [I like that someone thinks he has one already, but if he follows this list in order he can get one then lose it again]

The shame of being worse than David is probably enough.

Death by apostrophes.

A bortles tattoo

There is no worse punishment than losing to the Losers this year


I’ve been punished enough.



What is the best musical (stage or screen)?


The Blues Brothers

The Producers

Book of Mormon

The Book of Mormon

Les Mis. Fuck the haterz

Carmen – A Hip-Hopera

Sunshine on Leith

Octomom! The Musical

West Side Story or South Park the Movie

There is one?


Any questions I should have asked but didn’t?

Are we ready for expansion?

Which player have you learnt a concerning amount about since this time last year?

i still miss the GFY award

Inane argument of the year.

Who’s the biggest cunt?

I still love that this is a mandatory question.



Nah, you’re good


Should the Chatterbowl be an auction?