2016 DynaBowl COTY

2016 DynaBowl Coach of the Year Survey Results!

Place Coach(es) Points
1st Benjamin Hendy 41
2nd Geoffrey Manboob 31
3rd Chris Braithwaite & Steve Smith Jr 29
4th Ian Kulkowski & Jay Kelly 24
5th Max Cubberley 12
6th Ben Archer & Dan Sayles 5
7th James Goodson & Mat Ward 4
8th Pete Conaghan 2
=9th David Slater 0
=9th Neil Hawke 0


1st Place – Benjamin Hendy

Falling at the first hurdle in the playoffs is a step up from missing out on the playoffs in the last week.

Best team in the league this year. Not top of my points just because they didn’t improve the most.

I still dont quite regret the Donald trade, but its close…..

A very good team. Looking like he might be derailed by injuries at the end of the season, but looks like a fairly perennial contender.

Great work by the Bombermen to surge through the season. Only issue is the wonky last few weeks but sure they’ll battle on.

Came good after 2 years patient building. Injuries may have killed him though.

Solid but peaked too soon probably

I feel like I’m being harsh with a six, but the team mostly picks itself and Aaron Donald gives a ten point a week advantage over everyone else, which is about how much it’s outscored average by.

Who could ever say a bad word against The Commish

Helluva turnaround this year. All attributable to a shadowy Dan pulling the strings behind the scenes, no doubt


2nd Place – Geoffrey Manboob

Great turnaround

Arguably favourites after years of ridicule. Two years, but nonetheless. Could they be the first team from Peter to lift the Owl? Based on the last 4 weeks, yes. Based on Peter in general, no.

Good job by Mike to get the team turned around from the woeful shambles they were in the last two years.

Going from worst to the playoffs is a great effort. Had a really good draft and has picks for next year too. A great season.

Won Peter. But that’s not exactly difficult is it?


Great work maximising their teams potential with some solid draft picks for future and FA/WW pick ups.

All the 4th round picks, none of the ability

The high draft picks seem to be paying off. It’s a pity he’s jeopardised that strategy by making the playoffs a year early

Congratulations, you won Peter! You are to fantasy sports what Brock Osweiler is to quarterbacking!


3rd Place – Chris Braithwaite & Steve Smith Jr

Thank fuck for Steve, this team was last placed before he came on board.

Always solid contributers. Bonus points awarded for attempting to give Bendy a meltdown with the number of pointless free agent moves made.

Harder by name, harder by nature. If the COTY was on picking up waivers aggressively then they would win hands down

The extreme waiver wire churn has prevented me from noticing anything else whatsoever about the team. Good work.

Clearly Steve has had a massive positive impact as hard have really upped their game. The effort that goes into the constant streaming of fringe players is immense

Chris is so very handsome.

AMAZING USE OF THE WAIVER WIRE. Points lost for a couple of lucky results


Steve joins and this happens, seems like a pretty strong correlation

Possibly favourites. A well put together roster peaking at the right time. Some trades not really worked out. Let’s hope they do that again this off-season.


4th Place – Ian Kulkowski & Jay Kelly

The only team to make the playoffs every year. Impressive. Never made the Owl. Less impressive.

Clearly the best GM team there is.

I mean, they got to the playoffs so they deserve a point.

Who’d have guessed that playing by the rules gets you to the playoffs


Great work from the duo this season

Probably won’t break that pattern this year as they’re playing the form team in the playoffs round 1.

Solid of unspectacular which is the best you of team, as everyone contributes.

For consistency in making the playoffs.

How do they keep doing it?! That’s not a rhetorical question. Somebody please tell me how. I suspect PEDs.

Defying the odds and some big retirements by making the playoffs every year


5th Place – Max Cubberley

The only thing to do when you reach the top is find a girlfriend and forget about this pointless shit.

No. Hush now.

He scored well but was generally unlucky, so he can have a point.

Very unlucky to finish with a losing record. Makes up for all the luck he had last year

Hi scoring and screwed by the schedule. Demonstrates exactly how strong Tim is compared to Peter. Not the total collapse previously experienced by DynaBowl champions, but close.

Very unlucky

It takes skill to go from 1st to worst.

Even money the owl is currently in a cupboard. Or the spare toilet. And Max hasn’t even noticed.

Lots of empathy for the Champs and the ‘WTF happened’ post an Owl win

Blatted up a winning side. If only he had some DEs

So it was all just luck…


6th Place – Ben Archer & Dan Sayles

To be on the brink of the playoffs and purposefully tank/sell off your players….sad!

They gave up when leading the division. What’s that all about?!

I would have expected to see them do better than they have at the start of the season but they’ve had some bad luck with player injuries and form.

Thoroughly mediocre, but fun to discuss trades with.

Generally there or thereabouts. There being 7th or 8th in total scoring. Tend to be pretty easy to negotiate with, which is a bonus.

Two of the best used car salesmen in the business

Why the hell did they firesale so early? They had a 4-1 divisional record as opposed to two 2-3s of TT

and Sadness. They had a favourable match up on their remaining games INCLUDING TT and Sadness. Mediocrity followed by throwing in the towel at the right point They could have had it all but bottled it. Points awarded for how they faired up until then.

Thought they would do better this year. So much promise

For being most efficient. Sometimes this means being really good at picking matchups, in this case it means having mostly terrible back up options


7th Place – James Goodson & Mat Ward

Almost got through the year without breaking the rules. That’s worth a point.

Pulled off some good (for them) trades. Pulling in pick#2 was impressive.


Hung around in playoff contention despite a losing record. Constantly cheating.

Other than the cap level fiasco, these two have gone great guns

Thought they had a chance at the playoffs, but had about as much chance as two escaped pigs had of not becoming bacon sandwiches. Brilliant to trade with due to the myriad of clauses to be added to any deal. An agent’s wet dream.

They will probably be disappointed with the season, but getting a very high draft pick should help them a lot.

How hard is it to count to 600? Fucking cheats.

Outrageous cheats



8th Place – Pete Conaghan

You finally nailed that #1 pick!


Well, it’s not as bad as last year. is it? Actually, it might be, I didn’t fact check that statement.

Finally, the first overall pick. No doubt he’ll somehow fuck it up.

Still suffering the Legacy, expect big things next year

Signs of improvement are there. You have to look really closely, but they are, honest. Finally getting the number 1 pick could push them over the edge into competitiveness.


I had a point left and nobody else deserves another one.

Actually, from a starting point of 140 points a week and nothing amazing, there’s a vaguely competent roster coming together, smart trades to move on Brees (old) and Lacy (shit) to secure Cooper and Cam and a general feeling of moving in the right direction

The Dynabowl’s very own Mike McCoy

The zero-rb strategy does not seem to be working. Or the zero defense.

Poor Pete.


=9th Place – David Slater

The worst run of form (0-7) in the history of the Owl as he attempted to tank for the first pick in the draft….he clearly forgot he’d traded it

Who dis?

If I could give negative points I would.

Very surprised to see David not doing so well

What a shambles. The classic win now strategy has failed with very little succession planning. A long and difficult road is ahead.


I’d give myself a negative if I could. I think I’ve actively lost games for my team this year with bad selections.

What a team, must be rigged in some way

Is it s better or worse team than it appears on paper. So mediocre that it’s hard to tell

Paying the price for buying a win-now team at auction that didn’t win then and certainly can’t win now. Narrowly missed out on the first pick by foolishly top scoring in week 13.


=9th Place – Neil Hawke

Is Neil even trying any more?


If ever there was a team that I forgot about in the league this year, it would be them.

Must try harder

Better than last year. Not good though. Bizarre choice not to have a taxi squad. Rumours of lack of commitment and complacency. Can they make the playoffs again without putting in more work?


Went all in on winning now – did not.

Eddy Lacy 🙁

Treading water. Still better than all of Peter

Good old Neil. Always manages t win some games somehow.


The 2016 NFL Season in Review!

Highest High

Brady not being allowed to play for 4 games

Sneads Touchdown pass

I’m struggling to think of one really. Probably one of Detroit’s many 4th quarter two minute drills to win the game.

Between the draft and the start of training camp.

Carlos Santos’ last ditch off the post field goal

Fulfilling my life’s dream seeing the actual racists live in person. The draw made it even more perfect.

I’ve really loved seeing the Raiders develop. Young core, attractive play calling, good on the road

There’s been so many, it’s hard to choose. There was… or…. and what about…. yeah, I can’t think of any either. There have been a handful of great plays and a couple of really good matches, but they feel more like they stand out because of the sheer averageness of everything else.

The best football I’ve seen this year was Ohio State v Michigan. Closely followed by Louisville’s deconstruction of FSU.

It’s been pretty dull

Kevin Harlan’s commentary of a drunk fan on the pitch for the Rams-49ers monday night game


Lowest Low

Thursday night football matchups

The realisation that there were no good teams in the league this year.

Everything since training camp

The cowboys o line. Makes games too easy.

the whole of the Saints D

It’s been absolutely mediocre in the majority of the games. Stars not starring, big players missing, just a bit ‘meh’ to it all.

A part of me wants to say the Browns, but – aside from the attempted serial murder of anyone unfortunate enough to be playing QB for them, they’ve at least shown up and played for a couple of quarters every week.

So I’m going to go for the sheer volume of ‘star’ players who’ve been anything but. The failure of the Panthers, the Packers etc to just show up.

The Pats being good without Brady/Brady coming back

Also, the Broncos lining up to take unpenalised headshots against Carolina until Cam was forced out of the game.

The Cowboys

The Chargers 30 million to one losing streak.

Boswell’s stupid onside kick


What one thing does the NFL need to change, more than anything else?

I don’t know

People shouldnt be allowed to tackle Drew

Nothing new that I’ve noted this year. Same old stuff relating to Goodell and the league getting its priorities right.

Speed of game

The Commissioner and the definition of a catch. That’s two things, but for the price of one. A bargain, some would say.

Get rid of TNF. Honestly, it’s not a great advert for the game

Jeff Fisher – fuck that guy. The NFLs losingest coach (if winningest is a word, I’m having losingest).

Replay rules around pass interference and holding, the bit where a catch is not a catch even after a player has blatantly caught it, then fumbles it trying to make a move.

They need to shorten the games. It’s impossible to get through a full game now if it’s not specifically your team. And even then, you need about three secondary entertainment devices to fill the gaps. The amount of no calls for intentional grounding, especially by “star” QBs

Celebration rules. And the commissioner.


Who’s going to be playing in the Superbowl, come February, and which of those teams will win?

Pats/Cowboys – Pats winning

Lions Steelers. You know you want it.

New England will beat Dallas 34-13

Dallas v Oakland – Dallas to win

Raiders vs Seahawks. I hope the Raiders win (if it’s this match up), but I think it will be the Seahawks

Seahawks over patriots.

Raiders v Dallas hopefully. Pats v Seahawks probably

You know Goody is going to put in two dynabowl teams right? I’m not even sure he does it by accident any more.

I would have said Seattle before Earl Thomas’ injury and they still might, but… Tampa Bay (yes, really) and New England.

I don’t think the Pats are good, and I’m pretty sure they’ll stumble somewhere against a team who just show up at their best on the day with a top notch defence (Chiefs, Broncos or Ravens, perhaps?) but if you asked me to name a team who’re definitely better and I’d pick to beat them… can’t do it.

NFC side is wide open, I don’t have a clue – Atlanta are flawed, Seattle’s O line is a disaster and they’re without Thomas… I don’t trust the Cowboys to beat a good team, so I’m going with Tampa to be a dark horse 6th seed. They’ve a defence which can make plays, Mike Evans, they’re battle tested and they’re improving every week.

Seattle vs NE – Pats wins, society loses

Pats v Seahawks. This feels familiar. Pats to win


DynaBowl Awards now…

Who is going to win the Superb Owl? Who will they face in the final?

Kelkowski over dyna hard

Chris! Will pound kelkowski into a fine dust.

Bombermen/Kelkowski – Kelkowski winning

Mike will beat Kelkowski in the final.

The Dynasty of Sadness will beat Dyna Hard.


The Sadness will beat the Hard

I want to say Chris and Jay/Ian but that would mean not one, but both of them shaking off their playoff curses.

I’ll take Chris, because after a brief moment of competence Kaepernick has turned back into a pumpkin and they have no trustworthy QB.

Kelkowski beating the Bombermen

It’s going to be Mike v Chris with Mike winning because the kicker Chris picked up, scored less than the one he dropped that very week.


Dynabowl related best moment

Tim continuing to show Peter up.

2-0 over Slatz – nuff said

This year has been a shit sandwich from my perspective -no real high points

I think Slatz’s glorious failure has been fun.

The losers spectacular decline

Complete and utter gutter performance by David. Made even sweeter by the Landry trade

The multiplicity of big trades that happened in the off-season (by comparison to previous numbers)

Another winning season for Slatz

TT’s trade offers are condescending and hilarious

Beating the Bombermen finally

The Losers’ 9 game losing streak was pretty good


Worst Dynabowl related moment

Kind of disappointing that David’s meltdowns have all really come in the Chatterbowl this year.

Brees not coming home yet

Losing by 0.1 points to Chris. It’s all rhetorical but if TT would have won their last week game over Pete (lowest total scorer) and had someone else run/catch for 2 more yards that week v Chris, we would have won the division

The abject failure.

The continuing mystery of D-line production

TTs rule breaking

A six week period where scoring second worst was the highlight

Losing to a defensive stat correction on Thursday afternoon when the next game week’s about to start

Jamaal Charles and JJ Watt being injured for the whole year.

It’s all good


Most Valuable Player

1st David Johnson – 6 votes

2nd Aaron Donals – 2 votes

=3rd Matt $3 Prater – 1 vote

=3rd Zeke – 1 vote


Rookie of the Year

1st Zeke – 6 votes

2nd Michael Thomas – 2 votes

=3rd Count Dakula – 1 vote

=3rd Joey Bosa – 1 vote


We’re three years in now. People talk about drafting for a three year window. With that in mind, who had the best auction back in the summer of 2014?

=1st Dyna Hard – 3 votes

=1st Dynablaster Bombermen – 3 votes

=3rd Champions of the Sun, Tamworth Two, Dynasty of Sadness, DynaForOne Firebirds – 1 vote each


Auction Comments (some general, some about the best auction class)

If only I knew then what I know now.

we should do it again, a clean slate

I can’t even remember it in much detail. I think mine was ok. Some gambles didn’t pay off but I got some good players on the cheap. Nothing notable springs to mind other than that I enjoyed it a lot!

That room was very hot. We drafted RBs pretty badly.

I wish we could do it every year. A glorious, glorious day that will live in infamy,

I’m actually impressed with how shit our team actually isn’t. I just wished I’d trusted the Rookie WR class more

Hard to fault Chris’ auction too much either, Brown and Watt have been worth every penny. Charles was a bust, but nobody’s perfect.

This is tricky… It’s easiest to rule teams out – Mangboob spent all his money on safeties and Cam and used a loophole to get out of Montee Ball’s horror contact, Max paid a fortune for one of Bowman’s legs, Goody is not being let off for spending too much on McCoy and Rodgers, I spent too much on AP and Manning.

It’s Phil, right? But since he’s not here any more…

Bean or Neil. Neil’s draft was good enough to win the inaugural owl, but he traded too much away in year two. Bean did similar. Bendy’s draft was solid, but his best player was picked up in a trade and without him this team is probably 0-3 in terms of playoff seasons.

Best/Sweatiest day ever

I must go back and read the reports. Sounded like a lot of fun.

Wish I’d known then, what I know now.


Other Matters

Seriously now, the Chatterbowl should be an auction rather than draft, right?

who cares

I hope that horse you’re flogging is dead. Poor creature.




I don’t trust maxxx to facilitate an auction. He’s the worst

Nope. But bring back pick trades. If your seasons over, it’s over

An auction would be fun, but no. It’s a draft league, do a redraft auction league alongside it, not instead. Auction would also fuck over anyone who can’t make the draft worse than autrodraft.




We should have have the rookie draft live one year. Where should it be held?


Wherever I am

Heathrow Terminal 1



Madison Square Gardens/Rockafella Centre

The Sun (not the newspaper) – the closest we will get to replicating the atmosphere of the original draft.

A bothy in the outer Hebrides

Have have? I disagree. I think organising trades is much easier in a slow draft because you have privacy to negotiate.

Yes, in a baking hot pub in Sheffield


Jay is famed for his love of a good name. He has a child due in 2017. What should he name it?



Co’lin El Jaguar Kelly


Bar/Bat-Mitzvah (depending on the gender)



Something else really Jewish








James / JoeyJoeJoeShabadoo / K’WHY’Jelly (rap name)


Phil (RIP)



Boy: Quetzalcoatl Cuauhtémoc Kelly

Girl: K’Elly Sweetness Kelly

Blaxington Hendrix Ou’solomon Kelly III


What is the best A-Ha song?

Manhattan Skyline


I’ve Been Losing You

who the fuck are A-Ha [you are dead to me]

The Living Daylights

Not Take On Me

There isn’t one [you are also dead to me] [unless you mean they’re all of such high quality it is impossible to pick one]

Manhattan Skyline

The living daylights

But it is take on me


Any questions I should have asked but didn’t?

How pretty is bendy, out of 10?


wheres the GFY we need an equivalent in the Dyna

I think that’s quite enough

Nah, it was shorter and better #lessismore


Are we there yet?

How did this happen?

DPOTY; Best FA signing