Tag: 4th Dynmension

Guest Mock Draft by James ‘Goody’ Goodson of the Tamworth Two

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MOCK DRAFT! Get your MOCK DRAFT here! Roll up, roll up, ladies and gentlemen, see the astounding sights of the mock draft up close and personal (don’t worry, he won’t bite, but do keep your hands out of his cage…). Drum roll please, if you will, and introducing for your pleasure and delight, the mock draft stylings of Mr James ‘Goody’ Goodson.

Pick 1.01 and… The Sadness choose…
Ezekiel Elliot, RB.
Elliot will be the handcuff to Darren McFadden so taking the most pro-bowl likely RB makes sense. This means they’ll look at a franchise RB, and with Elliot they have a RB who does everything well. He’s in a tier on his own above everyone else on my board so he’s the 1st overall pick in this mock. They just hope DMC avoids getting injured so Elliot can secure RB1.

With pick 1.02 the Firebirds choose…
Corey Coleman, WR.
Another tough one as I think the Firebirds have better strength at WR than RB, but there is a real limited quality in long term value in RB, especially in this year’s draft. A dynasty franchise is set up around WR talent and Coleman pips Doctson. The latter being a better dynasty target as both Racist’s receivers are are expected to be FAs in 2017

With pick 1.03 the Dungeoneers pick..
Josh Doctson, WR.
As above, and if Doctson can bulk up I think he’ll be a very good solid receiver. He has good height and will offer good long term value offer excellent value

With pick 1.04 the Losers choose
Laquon Treadwell, WR.
Treadwell is my number 4 receiver, and I think David loves Treadwell. He’s a very good receiver. His tape shows off some fantastic competitive plays, from blocks to contested catches but, I just don’t think he is quite as good as Michael Thomas. While the Losers RB and WR depth is weighted towards the latter, a potential WR1 is too good to turn down in a dynasty league. He’s a good fit for the WR1 at the Vikings, usurping last year’s surprise package, Diggs as the season goes on. His lower speed won’t be an issue with Teddy’s noodle arm and short passes.

With pick 1.05 the Champions pick…
Michael Thomas, WR.
I love Thomas. I think Thomas could be better than Coleman, but he I think initially, he won’t be a viable fantasy option. He is great with contested catches and will be a nice addition to the Champions’ roster.

With pick 1.06 the Sadness choose…
Sterling Shepard, WR.
I love Sterling Shepard. He will be a legitimate WR 2 for the Giants and will be the perfect foil for OBJ. With the ability to play in the slot but underestimated outside, the best route runner in the draft will likely have a very high floor. The Sadness improve on their 2016 monopoly with an excellent safe pick.

With pick 1.07 Kelkowski pick…
Derrick Henry RB
While the landing spot of Henry won’t result in Kelkowski doing flips, the ability for him to take a lot of the possible red zone touches will be gratefully received at the Mahoney Memorial Stadium. While they haven’t replaced megatron, there is a clear dearth or top tier rookie relievers so this pick is a case of BPA. Don’t be surprised to see Kelkowski attempt to trade up a few spots.

With pick 1.08 The Sadness choose…
Kenneth Dixon, RB.
With Dixon joining Booker in, arguably, one of the best two landing spots, the Sadness make a sensible pick and choose my no. 2 RB.

With 1.09 The Firebirds select…
Devontae Booker, RB.
It’s a bit of a tough pick for the Firebirds. Booker allows them to secure the Denver running game, but doesn’t add much to their depleted RB personnel. They’ve already nabbed the best receiver on the ball and a great landing spot helps them take this pick with little fuss.

With 1.10 the Champions of the Sun pick…
CJ Prosise, RB.
This pick was to be either Prosise or Kenyan Drake of Miami. However I’m going for the upside that Prosise offers as Rawls may not be as fancied as previously thought. Procise can play all 3 downs, is a bit of a freak athlete and can be the receiver Rawls isn’t. 6th round Rawls can be cut with no cost next year at Seattle. 3rd Round Prosise makes sense here. Will Kenyan Drake hang around long enough for the Champions next pick?

With 2.01 The Sadness choose…
Tyler Boyd, WR.
Another freak athlete. With Sanu’s target to go around, the Sadness show can continue.

With 2.02 the Sadness pick…
Hunter Henry, TE.
The best Tight End in the draft who has been compared to Jason Witten. With this pick, the Sadness stockpile depth and take advantage of an ageing Walker on their roster and the expected slow break outs of Tight Ends. Don’t be surprised if the Sadness try to trade down to snag Jaded Goff as Qb is a need.

With 2.03 the Dungeoneers choose…
Paul Perkins, RB.
With a menagerie of backs in New York, Perkins is well suited to take the main carries off an ageing Jennings and a sub par back up committee. Music to the Dungeoneers ears as they have Jennings on their books.

With pick 2.04 The Losers choose…
Malcolm Mitchell, WR.
With superb character and a good landing spot to take on LaFells targets, the Losers pick up one of the safer rookie receivers in this draft who excels at route running, just what Brady likes.

With pick 2.05 the Firebirds choose…
Will Fuller, WR.
Surprised that Fuller fell so low in this draft, the Firebirds snag Houston’s deep ball threat. Fuller had one of the best yards after catch in college and could be a steal at 2.05

With pick 2.06 the Bombermen rock the boat and pick…
Jordan Howard, RB.
Strategically this may be a perfect pick. Langford was not impressive in Chicago with only 3.6 yards per carry and only forcing 7 missed tackles over the entire season. Now with a legitimate powerful back, the Bombermen stop their divisional rival getting stronger and improve upon their only decent RBs of Hill and David Johnson. Another option I was looking at, was Dynaharder trading up to 2.05 to grab Howard to avoid this situation.

At 2.07 Kelkowski pick…
Mike Thomas, WR
This is a great pick for Kelkowski. With very little competition in LA, and the natural ability for a spectacular catch, Thomas (the better Thomas in some people’s eyes) offers superb upside. With only gadget play specialist Tavon Austin to really offer any threat to targets, expect Thomas to perform above his expected pick to be a standout receiver.

At 2.08 Dyna Harder choose…
Wendall Smallwood, RB
With an ADP of 2.09 Wendall Smallwood is moving up boards. A natural runner with a lot of power, Dynaharder pick the Eagles’ Running back and trade with the Firebirds for Mathews to move down later in the draft. This is the best of a bad situation for Dynahard as they were relying on Howard hanging around until 2.08.

At 2.09 the TT choose…
Rashard Higgins, WR
The Cleveland WR graded out as one of the top receivers in 2014 by PFF and this fills a need of arguably the best team in the league who have no weaknesses.

At 2.10 Dynaharder pick…
Tajae Sharpe, WR.
Another well thought of receiver, Sharpe provides Dynaharder with some good depth in a great situation. With Kendall Wright and Justin Hunter only in front of him, Sharpe should get a good amount of targets as the year progresses.

Two-round Mock Draft

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[Commissioner note: this article was written before the Dez Bryant blockbuster trade that saw Dyna Hard picks transfer to the Dynasty of Sadness]

And so we enter the season of mock drafts, drafts, and draft grades.  I’ll start the speculation with the first post-NFL draft hot take – here are the players you should be drafting in the first two rounds:

 

1.01       Dynasty of Sadness

Despite their analytics department urging the Sadness to trade the pick for a massive haul, owner Geoffrey Manboob ejects them from the war room and sticks a broomhandle in the door. Ezekiel Elliot.

 

1.02        DynaForOne Firebirds

The Firebirds try to trade down and pick up Derrick Henry, but with no teams offering ‘value’, Neil is forced to go WR here. Laquon Treadwell.

 

1.03        East Flanders Dungeoneers

The Dungeoneers have similar RB worries, with potentially only two of their current RBs being on the 2017 roster. The Jay Gruden Siren Call proves too much however, and they draft Josh Doctson.

 

1.04        Dynasore Losers

The Losers’ natural antipathy to Drew Brees has them select Corey Coleman here; potentially a high-target steal at this draft position.

 

1.05        Champions of the Sun

With no needs at RB, the literal as well as figurative Champions select The Real Michael Thomas.

 

1.06        Dynasty of Sadness

Their need at RB having been sated for another year, Sadness make a less than ideal pick, in the New York Giants’ Sterling Shepherd. With OBJ already on the roster, a trade for the 1.05 with the Champions might make sense here.

 

1.07        Kelkowski Don’t Play By No Dyna Rules

Kelkowski are in a tight spot. It could be argued their need for receiver is greater, given the retirement of Megatron, but they go for their BPA in this position, Baltimore’s Kenneth Dixon.

 

1.08        Dyna Harder

With a surfeit of expensive RBs on the roster, Dyna Harder take Tyler Boyd. Pretty dull.

 

1.09        DynaForOne Firebirds

The Firebirds are delighted to scoop up Derrick Henry at this position.

 

1.10        Champions of the Sun

The Champions draft for value rather than need with this pick and select Devonte Booker, RB.

 

2.01        Dynasty of Sadness

The Sadness look carefully at their roster and enter risk mitigation mode – Will Fuller provides Jalen Strong insurance.

 

2.02        Dynasty of Sadness

Likewise, Matt Jones’ backup is selected here. Keith Marshall, RB.

 

2.03        East Flanders Dungeoneers

East Flanders put their fingers in their ears and hum loudly to drown out the sound of a small herd of running backs, and select Hunter Henry, TE.

 

2.04        Dynasore Losers

The Losers target the best RB still on the board, Paul Perkins.

 

2.05        DynaForOne Firebirds

Firebirds select the Oakland Raiders backup RB, and roll with DeAndre Washington.

 

2.06        Dynablaster Bombermen

Situation means he has slippped this far, but the Bombermen are delighted to snap up Leonte Caroo with their first pick.

 

2.07        Kelkowski Don’t Play By No Dyna Rules

If it’s good enough for Bill….Kelkowski go with the New England utility man, Malcolm Mitchell.

 

2.08        Dyna Harder

Dyna Harder select The Other Mike Thomas.

 

2.09        Tamworth Two

Tamworth Two blow the draft wide open and start the run on defensive players by selecting Myles Jack.

 

2.10        Dyna Harder

Dyna Harder ignore the incipient run on defensive players and build depth in the Chicago backfield. Jordan Howard, RB.

MAX’S STAT BLATS! – Week Seven

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In last week’s Stat Blat, whilst looking at the Dynablaster Bombermen, I noted that their defensive line had been an area of weakness but something they’d addressed already with the trade for Aaron Donald. Well, this week the Dynablaster Bombermen’s defensive line scored 75.5 points on their own. That got me wondering about the highest and lowest performances from each positional group through both seasons so far. Was 75.5 a record high for a defensive line? Surely it must be! Read on to find out.

Note: Week 17 of the 2014 season was not included when collating these results.

QB

Highest:

1 Firebirds 37.12 S1 W7 Rusty Wilson
2 Tamworth Two 36.6 S1 W10 Aaron Rodgers
3 Firebirds 36.36 S1 W16 Rusty Wilson
4 Tamworth Two 34.92 S2 W3 Aaron Rodgers
5 Firebirds 34.24 S1 W5 Rusty Wilson

 

The running here are obviously dominated by God’s chosen QB (Wilson) and the Arm of the Doubtful (Rodgers). It’s a classic battle between good and evil.

Lowest:

1 Sadness 0.00 S1 W1 “Fuck You” Cam Newton
2 Breeses 0.36 S1 W16 Andrew Luck
3 Dungeoneers 1.84 S2 W5 Nick “Cunt” Foles
4 Sadness 2.62 S1 W6 Teddy Bridgewater
5 Losers 2.72 S1 W14 Peter Manning

 

Fun fact: In week 14 of season 1, David left Andy Dalton (26.28 points), Joe Flacco (24.36 points) and Derek Carr (22.36 points) on the bench in favour of Peter (2.72 points). Now, kids, that is how you PLOB yourself right up. For those of you wondering, Andrew Luck did not leave that game injured. He threw for just over 100 yards with 0 TDs and 2 interceptions. Impressive stuff.

RB

Highest

1 Breeses 74.2 S2 W5 Isaiah Crowell, Devonta Freeman, Doug Martin
2 Breeses 65.6 S2 W7 Devonta Freeman, Doug Martin, Lamar Miller
3 Firebirds 61.8 S1 W16 CJ Anderson, Jeremy Hill, Marshawn Lynch
4 Tamworth Two 61.6 S2 W6 Chris Ivory, LeSean McCoy, Jonathan Stewart
5 Champions 61.4 S1 W14 Le’veon Bell, Isaiah Crowell, Latavius Murray

 

Come on, who saw that coming at the start of the year? Who also saw Isaiah Crowell and Doug Martin each appearing in 2 of the 5 best RB performances of the Dynabowl so far…

Lowest

1 Dungeoneers 5.625 S1 W9 LaGarette Blount, Branden Oliver
2 Firebirds 7.3 S1 W6 Chris Johnson, Marshawn Lynch
3 Breeses 8.2 S2 W3 Isaiah Crowell, Doug Martin
4 Champions 8.3 S2 W1 Latavius Murray, Damien Williams
5 Firebirds 8.4 S1 W8 Chris Johnson, Marshawn Lynch

 

Crowell, Martin, Latavius Murray and Marshawn Lynch have the distinction of being in both the best and the worst RB groups. If I was better at this I’d probably give you some analysis right now. Here’s what I got: blah blah blah analysis blah blah best-selling book Fantasy Life blah blah analysis blah state-the-obvious.

WR/TE

Highest:

1 Kelkowski 109 S1 W1 Randall Cobb, Calvin Johnson, Jeremy Maclin, Cor!Darelle Patterson, Jordan Cameron, Julius Thomas
2 Losers 93.3 S1 W10 Larry Fitzgerald, Jordy Nelson, Emmanuel Sanders, Torrey Smith, Larry Donnell, Jimmy Graham
3 Kelkowski 91.5 S1 W2 Randall Cobb, Calvin Johnson, Jeremy Maclin, Cor!Darelle Patterson, Julius Thomas, Delanie Walker
4 Firebirds 91 S1 W8 TY Hilton, Julio Jones, Eddie Royal, Demaryius Thomas, Antonio Gates, Rob Gronkowski
5 Firebirds 89.7 S1 W6 TY Hilton, Julio Jones, Mohammed Sanu, Demaryius Thomas, Antonio Gates, Rob Gronkowski

 

We still love you Cor! Darelle! The passing game has never been better than those heady days of the first weeks of the Dynabowl. What a glorious time that was! It just goes to show, it’s a running league.

Lowest:

1 Breeses 12.1 S2 W1 DeSean Jackson, Charles Johnson, Steve Smith Sr., Terrance Williams, Owen Daniels
2 Dungeoneers 14.25 S1 W14 Keenan Allen, Andre Johnson, Brandon Marshall, Kenny Stills, Kyle Rudolph, Jason Witten
3 Breeses 14.4 S1 W9 Dwayne Bowe, Pierre Garcon, Andrew Hawkins, Steve Smith Sr., Zach Ertz
4 DynaHarder 17 S1 W12 Kenny Britt, Julian Edelman, Cecil Shorts III, Sammy Watkins, Jace Amaro
5 Dungeoneers 18.1 S2 W5 Keenan Allen, Amari Cooper, Michael Floyd, Reuben Randle, Coby Fleener

 

Tough reading for fans of the Brees and the Dungeoneers. Probably not surprising reading though.

SPEC

Highest:

1 Dungeoneers 23.6 S2 W4 Cairo Santos, Andy Lee
2 Sadness 22.725 S1 W9 Adam Vinatieri, Shane Lechler
3 DynaHarder 21.3 S1 W11 Mason Crosby, Marquette King
4 Breeses 21.2 S1 W10 Matt Bryant, Brett Kern
5 Dungeoneers 20.475 S1 W12 Cody Parkey, Mike Scifres

 

Lowest:

1 Dungeoneers 1.65 S1 W14 Cody Parkey, Mike Scifres
2 Dungeoneers 3 S1 W4 Cody Parkey, Pat O’Donnell
3 Losers 3.3 S1 W16 Justin Tucker, Donnie Jones
4 Champions 3.95 S1 W6 Shaun Suisham, Brad Nortman
5 Firebirds 4 S1 W8 Dan Bailey, Tim Masthay

 

The Dungeoneers showing that famed consistency hear by having two of the best scoring special teams units and two of the worst. I like that Parkey and Scifres put up over 20 points in week 12 and then under 2 in week 14. Absolute gangbusters.

DL

Highest:

1 Bombermen 75.5 S2 W7 Aaron Donald, Haloti Ngata, Cameron Wake, Mario Williams
2 Breeses 69.5 S1 W10 Marcell Dareus, Aaron Donald, Michael Bennett, Cameron Jordan
3 Kelkowski 58.75 S1 W7 Nick Fairley, Everson Griffen, DeMarcus Ware
4 DynaHarder 55.35 S1 W13 Jonathan Hankins, Ezekiel Ansah, JJ Watt
5 Champions 50.5 S1 W8 Tom Johnson, Robert Quinn, Cameron Wake

 

Well, there’s the answer to your question. Yes, the Bombermen’s score on the line this week was the highest ever. By a comfortable margin too. The players on that top 5 read very much like a who’s who of defensive line talent, it’s not difficult to see why these guys scored like they did. Plus Tom Johnson’s there too. Good old Tom Johnson. Who’s Tom Johnson?

Lowest:

1 Dungeoneers 1.25 S2 W3 Tyrone Crawford, Demarcus Lawrence, Stephen Paea
2= Sadness 1.5 S2 W1 Sharrif Floyd, Damontre Moore, Devin Taylor
2= Sadness 1.5 S1 W1 Michael Brockers, Jared Allen, Calais Campbell
4 Champions 1.75 S1 W4 Steve McClendon, Mike Daniels, Cameron Wake
5 Bombermen 2.5 S2 W1 Kyle Williams, Cameron Wake, Mario Williams

 

A round of applause for the Dynasty of Sadness in managed to fashion a tie for 2nd place in the worst D-line performances of all time. Mike and Mark certainly know how to get their defence off to a strong start to the year. Looking at the players in these units it’s very noticeable that one of these is not like the other. 2.5 points for the Williams twins and Cameron Wake would have been unthinkable last season.

LB

Highest:

1 Champions 63.25 S1 W8 Anthony Barr, Jamie Collins, Justin Houston, Wesley Woodyard
2 DynaHarder 57.55 S1 W5 Von Miller, CJ Mosley, Alec Ogletree, Jason Worilds
3 Kelkowski 55.8 S2 W6 Stephone Anthony, Karlos Dansby, D’Qwell Jackson, Brandon Marshall
4 Champions 55.5 S2 W6 Anthony Barr, Shaq Barrett, Jamie Collins, Justin Houston
5 Champions 53.95 S1 W4 Anthony Barr, Justin Houston, Khalil Mack, Wesley Woodyard

 

It’s like no-one believed me when I said linebacker was the most important fantasy position.

Lowest:

1 Losers 1.25 S2 W3 Ryan Kerrigan, Paul Kruger, Alex Okafor
2 Bombermen 3.5 S2 W7 Connor Barwin, Elvis Dumervil, Sean Lee
3 Firebirds 5 S1 W4 Mason Foster, Julius Peppers, Lawrence Timmons
4 Firebirds 5.75 S1 W3 Mason Foster, Manti Te’o, Lawrence Timmons
5 Dungeoneers 6.25 S1 W8 Connor Barwin, Dwight Freeney, KJ Wright

 

I seriously don’t know who Mason Foster is. If this week’s Stat Blat has made me realise anything it’s quite how bad Neil’s team was at the start of last season. What a tremendous rags to riches story his Dynabowl triumph was. Someone should film that. With Paul Giamatti playing Neil.

DB

Highest:

1 Bombermen 76.45 S1 W10 Casey Hayward, Bradley Roby, Ha-Ha Clinton-Dix, James Ihedigbo
2 Bombermen 73.2 S2 W4 Stephon Gilmore, Bradley Roby, Corey Graham, TJ Ward
3 Sadness 59.75 S2 W3 William Gay, Jerraud Powers, Eric Berry, Tyrann Mathieu
4 Kelkowski 58 S2 W3 Janoris Jenkins, Jimmy Smith, Mike Adams, Malcolm Jenkins
5 Kelkowski 57.55 S1 W13 Janoris Jenkins, Devin McCourty, Mike Adams, Rashad Johnson

 

The fact that the Bombermen and Kelkowski each have 2 entries here somewhat belies my theory that DB scoring is entirely random. Note that the presence of more season 2 scores in this entry than others is likely influenced by the point increased for Defended Passes this season.

Lowest:

1 DynaHarder 3.75 S1 W7 Patrick Peterson, Sam Shields, Deone Bucannon, Jonathan Cyprien
2 Sadness 4.5 S1 W10 Travis Carrie, Kyle Fuller, Eric Berry, Tyrann Mathieu
3 Dungeoneers 5 S1 W11 Vontae Davis, Chris Harris, George Iloka, Rahim Moore
4= Losers 6 S1 W4 Darius Butler, Logan Ryan, Chris Conte, Glover Quin
4= DynaHarder 6 S1 W13 Antoine Cason, Patrick Peterson, Micah Hyde, Eric Reid

 

I can’t help but think that at least three of those entries would make pretty good real-life secondaries. That’s fantasy football for you, I guess.

OFF

Highest:

1 Losers 177.205 S1 W4
2 Kelkowski 165.36 S1 W8
3 Firebirds 164.34 S1 W5
4 Losers 164.21 S2 W2
5 Firebirds 161.62 S1 W14

 

Lowest:

1 Dungeoneers 52.7 S1 W14
2 Sadness 54.97 S1 W11
3 Breeses 58.345 S2 W1
4 Bombermen 62.19 S2 W7
5 Dungeoneers 64.965 S2 W5

 

DEF

Highest:

1 Kelkowski 143.6 S1 W13
2 Tamworth Two 142.05 S2 W6
3 Bombermen 130.95 S1 W10
4 Champions 129.25 S1 W8
5 Firebirds 126.55 S1 W16

 

Lowest:

1 Firebirds 26.75 S1 W1
2 Tamworth Two 27 S1 W16
3 Dungeoneers 32.25 S1 W11
4 Sadness 35 S1 W10
5 Kelkowski 36.5 S1 W14

 

MAX’S STAT BLATS! – Week Two

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The spreadsheet has been fed this week and my dot matrix printer has finally finished churning out the data for me to pore through.  This week I’ll take a look at the first two weeks performance from 2015 and compare it to the first two weeks from 2014 to see if we can build a picture of where each team’s fortunes will go from here.

Reality Bites

Below are comparisons of performance through week 2 of the 2015 and 2015 seasons, ordered by finishing order in the 2014 season.

2014 Week 2 2014 Standing 2015 Week 2 POA Diff
Dynaforone Firebirds 1-1 (137 poa) 7-6 1-1 (181 poa) +44
Here Comes the Brees 1-1 (146 poa) 8-5 0-2 (152 poa) +6
Dynasore Losers 2-0 (175 poa) 8-5 2-0 (172 poa) -3
Kelkowski 2-0 (212 poa) 8-5 0-2 (153 poa) -59
Dynablinker Obamamen 0-2 (168 poa) 7-6 0-2 (156 poa) -12
Champions of the Sun 1-1 (181 poa) 6-7 2-0 (192 poa) +11
Tamworth Two 2-0 (185 poa) 6-7 1-1 (167 poa) -18
East Flanders Dungeoneers 1-1 (161 poa) 5-8 2-0 (158 poa) -3
Dynasty of Sadness 0-2 (129 poa) 5-8 0-2 (154 poa) +25
DynaHarder 0-2 (168 poa) 5-8 2-0 (223 poa) +55

So let’s get the good news out of the way.  DynaHarder have gone from an 0-2 start last season to a 2-0 start this season, having the highest average points in the process.  The attendant 55 point jump in average score shows that the team has improved hugely over last season’s average start and there is still the return of Martivis Bryant and abhorrent human being Greg Hardy to come.

The other two significant improvements over last season can be seen at the Dynasty of Sadness and, worryingly, 2014 Superb Owl winners the Firebirds. The Sadness were a flimsy excuse for a fantasy football team last year and anything less than a big jump from 2014’s 129 average points would have been a disaster. Whilst the team are still at the bottom end of the points scorers they are not cut adrift like last season and can expect to be competitive. How the Firebirds improved from 2014’s disastrous start to claim the Owl may warrant an article on its own but the team has started strongly this year, being unfortunate to lose with the 3rd highest score in week 1.

On the other side of the ball it would be remiss not to start with Kelkowski’s 59 point plummet from the first two games of last season. Last week I highlighted some of the reasons Jay and Ian might not be surprised by this but the extent of the drop off is alarming. Despite the poor start of the Breeses this year it’s worth noting that they’ve actually started better in terms of their weekly output this year, suggesting all may not be as bleak as first appeared. Could another unlikely playoff run emerge? Another team I believed to have regressed have proved me wrong through two weeks as the Dynasore Losers are still scoring at the same level as the opening of last season. Whether they can power up to the heights of 2014 as they go along remains to be seen.

What Might Have Been

Looking at what the teams actually scored in the first two weeks is all very well and good but to get a full picture of improvement and regression we should also look at their potential points. What do their best line-ups look like compared to last season? This will also highlight where GMs are more directly responsible for good or poor performance with their team selection.

  2014 Week 2 2015 Week 2 PPOA Diff
Dynaforone Firebirds 188 ppoa 228 (79% eff) +40
Here Comes the Brees 210 ppoa 228 (67% eff) +18
Dynasore Losers 212 ppoa 244 (70% eff) +32
Kelkowski 265 ppoa 206 (74% eff) -59
Dynablaster Bombermen 233 ppoa 232 (67% eff) -1
Champions of the Sun 204 ppoa 258 (74% eff) +54
Tamworth Two 261 ppoa 216 (77% eff) -45
East Flanders Dungeoneers 212 ppoa 208 (76% eff) -4
Dynasty of Sadness 206 ppoa 211 (73% eff) +5
DynaHarder 250 ppoa 282 (79% eff) +32

The numbers here back up the findings for the Firebirds and DynaHarder, showing an overall squad improvement to match their gameday improvement. The other big improvers are the Losers and the Champions, both of whom seem to have added a lot of depth between the start of last season and now, whether it was during the season last year, in the off-season or in the draft. The Breeses too can be happy that, whilst they’re squad still has holes, the actions Dan and Ben have taken have strengthened and added depth.

For the other 5 teams the story is either one of maintaining the status quo or of regression. Despite some strong additions, the Sadness seem to only have a squad as good as the start of last season, suggesting inefficient squad selection contributed to the team’s woes at the start of last year. The Bombermen and, surprisingly, the Dungeoneers also seem to have remained on par with the start of last season. The Dungeoneers are a strange one. To the naked eye, the team seems stronger than last season yet the stats don’t back that up so far. It’s early days, and GM Pete is building for the future, but if the team finishes the season not having outperformed last year’s iteration it should go down as a disappointment.

Kelkowski’s woes have been dwelt on enough but they can at least take solace that a 74% squad efficiency is not horrible and they are doing a good enough job of team selection. The Tamworth Two’s drop in potential points isn’t far short of Kelkowski’s however and that should be a cause of concern. The struggles of Alshon Jeffrey and Jonathan Stewart have certainly contributed to this but the defence has taken the biggest hit with Olivier Vernon and the linebacking unit firing blanks so far. It’s early days yet, of course, and defensive scoring is notoriously streaky but this is a situation worth keeping an eye on. The good news is that the Hogs’ 77% efficiency rating is second best in the league so they, at least, making the most of what they have.

In the efficiency stakes both Bens and both Dans will hope to improve their team selection in the coming weeks as the hot hands become clear and depth chart fog starts to dissipate. Both teams are at sub-70% efficiency which is a major barrier to success. David is, of course, PLOBbing the shit out of himself but what else would you expect? The Losers are still 2-0 so maybe his carefree team selection is motivating the troops.

Join me next time on Stat Blats where I’ll be doing something else with stats, probably, unless I’m not.

Guest Previews 2015 – The People’s Republic of the 4th Dynmension: Dynasty of Sadness by Max Cubberley

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The People’s Republic of the 4th Dynmension: Dynasty of Sadness

2014 Record: 5-8, last place in Peter, 9th in points for, last in potential points, 9th in all play, improved to 7th in the loser ladder

Off-season Review

It really was a back and forth battle all last season. One week one team had the edge, the next week it was the other team. Both sets of players, and their GMs, put in a monumental effort to outdo the other in a contest that had the rest of us on the edges of our seats but ultimately only one team could finish bottom of Peter and the Sadness just pipped the Dungeoneers to the post. Regardless of that, Geoffrey Manboob went into the off-season knowing he had a big job on his hands.

Unfortunately the Peach Shadow seemed to take that literally and went for quantity rather than quality in free agency with 23 players joining up for a gruelling evaluation process in training camp, the most notable names including Darrelle Revis and Brandon LaFell. Of those 23 not many survived. Josh Hill adds a splash of potential at TE and Bruce Irvin and Damontre Moore may turn into solid additions but, overall, free agency has all the colour and movement of a candy floss machine with all the attendant substance. At least they didn’t lose anyone significant with Riley Cooper, Justin Smith and Greg Jennings the only notable names to be cut or released.

Heading into the draft, the Sadness did not look any stronger than last season but if MANGBOOB disappointed in free agency he showed his nous in the cut-throat, split-second world of dynasty drafting. The haul of young talent wasn’t particularly exciting with Ameer Abdullah, Matt Jones and Jaelen Strong the three main prospects to emerge but the GM’s manoeuvring also brought Eddy Lacy, Brock Osweiler, Sheldon Richardson and Markus Wheaton in. Richardson’s subsequent legal troubles cast something of a pall on that move but in getting Lacy and Osweiler for 1.02, Manboob pulled off the deal of the year, maybe even the decade.

In other trade-related business the Sadness revealed the depth of belief they have in Teddy Tinyhands as a future star QB by trading Cam Newton to the Dungeoneers with Drew Brees coming the other way to smooth the transition for Bridgeater.

Improvement: The Sadness already had one of the strongest WR groups in the league and they come into the new season with an upgrade at QB and a huge one at RB. The sore thumb on the roster is Montee Ball at $49 but even there we could see a happy ending as if the lad goes 4 weeks without a team he can be released with none of that guaranteed salary sticking on the Sadness’ wage bill thanks to being cut by the Broncos. They finished 10th in average offensive points per game last season and they should see a huge improvement there in the new season.

Regression: When I say that there are no areas of the Sadness that look weaker you shouldn’t read too much into that. It would have been harder for some areas of the team to get weaker. The defence is largely untouched from the unit that averaged the 9th lowest score last season and it would take a lot of squinting to see how it would improve on that with the group of players there. The Sadness focused on improving the offence in the off-season and will be hoping that will cover the defensive deficiencies for a year.

Prediction: I don’t necessarily see too much of an improvement in standings for the Sadness and think they could well finish 5-8 or maybe 6-7 again, being towards the bottom end of Peter. What I do expect is for them to be competitive in most games and bridge a lot of the gap that existed between them and the Dungeoneers and the rest of the league.

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