Tag: 2016

DynaForOne Firebirds

OFFENCE/SPECIAL TEAMS

101.71 ppg, 9^th best in league

QB 21.68 ppg, 1^st RB 24.03 ppg, 9^th WR/TE 43.66 ppg, 7^thSPEC 12.34 ppg, 10^th

It was a case of first to worst (in Tim, it’s almost impossible for a Tim team to be worse than most of the teams in Peter) for Neil Hawke and the Firebirds last season. The inaugural champs didn’t lose it at QB though where Rusty Wilson and Big Phil Rivers are one of the best one-two tandems in the league. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, and, barring the ever-present spectre of injury, there’s no reason to think that the Firebirds’ QBs won’t be right up there again this year.

So where did it go so wrong then? Step forward CJ Anderson and Marshawn Lynch. Neil’s two big RB threats going into last season both underwhelmed drastically for one reason or another and left the Firebird’s relying on Chris Johnson’s zimmerframe and Frank Gore’s determination to show the young ‘uns how they do back in the day. This season Lynch is retired and Gore and CJ2K are both yet another year older. The Firebirds have added Lynch’s heir presumptive in Seattle, Thomas Rawls, and traded for Eddy Lacy though. Rawls and Lacy both have question marks over them but it’s good to see Hawke recognise the problem and take big steps to resolve it. If CJ Anderson turns up this year and Ryan Matthews stays healthy this could be a very strong group.

The receivers weren’t quite as bad as the RBs but they still weren’t great. How Julio Jones didn’t get injured from the stress of having to carry this entire offence on his back last year I don’t know. Edelman gave him some help before injury ended his season and Hawke pulled Snead from the waiver wire but after those three there’s really nothing to say. Again though, the Firebirds went hard at fixing this position. Vincent Jackson came in free agency and Markus Wheaton in a trade (albeit for a vastly overinflated price for some reason). With Corey Coleman, Tyler Boyd and, particularly, Tajae Sharpe added in the draft there is a good group of young receivers here who can provide this season and hopefully for a while to come. And at TE? Hawke had Gronk last season and he still has him this season. End of story.

Trending up

DEFENCE

75.81 ppg, 8^th best in league

DL 28.22 ppg, 2^nd
LB 24.90 ppg, 7^th
DB 22.69 ppg, 9^th

Along with the Tamworth Two, the Firebirds have the best DT tandem in the league and both Geno Atkins and Ndamukong Suh (eventually) produced the numbers last season and are in a position to do it again this year. Unfortunately for Neil he only had one DE that scored over 51 points last season and none that scored over 100. It’s all change on that front this season with only Charles Johnson back. Brandon Graham moves from LB to DE to provide a clear #1 but Johnson is not the guy to rely on and so Neil is left looking askance at Mario Williams and hoping that he can be bothered to turn up and play in Miami when he couldn’t in Buffalo. To be honest though, if Neil just didn’t play a second DE it still wouldn’t be that much worse than last season.

The Firebirds’ LBs were a weak unit last season with injuries to De’Andre Levy and Alec Ogletree cutting down hugely on their ceiling. Behind those two both Lawrence Timmons and Julius Peppers were solid but Derrick Johnson was the only elite performer. This season both Johnson and Timmons are back and Levy is at least Questionable rather than Out. Ogletree looks healthy, Eric Kendricks moves into year two after a promising rookie season and Mark Barron has been moved from S to LB. Last season’s performance should be the floor for this unit going forward.

The real place that Hawke suffered was at DB though, giving away 16 points a week to the best unit in the league. If you got prizes for having the most players to choose from he would probably do very well as he had a whopping 12 DBs on the roster at the end of the season but sometimes less is more, particularly at CB where the Firebirds had 7 players and only one that scored over 90 points. Neil has trimmed down a little for this season (although he still has 10 DBs) and added Janoris Jenkins at CB who scored well last season, although he is in a new spot this year. Patrick Chung is the only addition at S though where Mark Barron’s loss will hurt.

Steady

OVERALL

177.52 ppg, 7^th best in league

The Firebirds have strengthened on offence and should be much closer to the middle of the pack this year and with more depth in reserve. On defence, although the LBs got better the DBs got worse and the D line is one injury away from collapse. I think they may still be the worst team in Tim but the performances should be better.

Dynablaster Bombermen

OFFENCE/SPECIAL TEAMS

103.81 ppg, 7^th best in league

QB 17.17 ppg, 7^th RB 25.09 ppg, 8^th WR/TE 47.47 ppg, 4^th SPEC 14.08 ppg, 4^th

Many people’s hot tips for the Owl last season ended up mired in mediocrity as their big guns just didn’t quite fire like many of us thought they would. Despite a poor QB performance it was the RBs that really hurt the most though. Going into the season with round 1 re-draft RB Jeremy Hill and hot rookie Melvin Gordon looked good but, in hindsight, we should have seen that the group was shallow and when Hill and Gordon were less than stellar it left the Bombermen’s ground game plodding. This year they have Gordon and Hill still in place, with appropriately tempered expectations, but superstar-on-the-rise David Johnson to back that up too. Surely another bright young thing can’t flop to the floor like a suffocating salmon at the Bombermen?

I skipped over the QB situation up there but it’s worth looking over again. The Bombermen go into the season with 6 QBs rostered as of today, two more than any other team. It’s a sure sign that they don’t think there are guys there to rely upon. Matt Ryan has consistently underwhelmed now to the point where he can only be seen as a backup and that leaves the Bombermen choosing between Kirk Cousins and RG3; both with huge potential but neither is a sure thing. Cousins should be an improvement over Ryan though and RG3 still has the potential for gold dust. The Bombermen will have to be careful not to fall into the Mangboob trap of tinkering too much though and PLOBbing themselves out of a lot of points.

Despite performing the best of the units mentioned already, the Bombermen’s receivers also have to be classified as a disappointment in 2015. Kelvin Benjamin never saw the field, AJ Green didn’t live up to his usual stellar standards, Brandin Cooks took half a season to get going and Jordan Matthews dropped, tipped and fumbled his ceiling away. With the exception of Matthews, all of those guys should be much better this year and the addition of Eric Decker in free agency brings some week-to-week stability to the unit. With the likes of Ty Montgomery, De’Anthony Thomas and Chris Conley backing up though the Bombermen have to hope that their WRs stay healthy. At TE Greg Olsen keeps on rolling and must be considered the #2 fantasy player at his position going forward.

Trending up

DEFENCE

79.38 ppg, 5^th best in league

DL 25.09 ppg, 4^th
LB 23.17 ppg, 8^th
DB 31.12 ppg, 3^rd

Looking at the Bombermen’s defence last season you would probably have had it down as average and that is how they performed. Ben Hendy spent big on the D line in the season, bringing in Aaron Donald and it paid off as the line clawed its way up to 4^th in the league by the end of the season. The procurement of Donald was just as well really as there was little to speak of outside him one Cameron Wake went down. This season sees Connor Barwin move down to DE and explosive rookie Noah Spence offers some potential at the same spot. You don’t have to imagine much though to see one injury to Donald leaving this unit producing bottom tier numbers.

The LB group wasn’t so much bad as it was lacking an elite talent. Ryan Shazier was the B-men’s top scoring LB and he was LB26 for the season in terms of production. Barwin, Sean Lee and Clay Matthews offered a solid presence but not much of a ceiling. This year the picture is much the same, if not worse with Barwin’s move to DE. Hendy will need to hope that Willie Young’s sack numbers continue to rise and that Clay Matthews’ move back to OLB kicks up his point ceiling. Sean Lee and Elvis Dumervil are fragile presences to rely on though and there is a question about how long Julius Peppers can reasonably keep going at an elite NFL level.

The defensive backs produced well last season and they’re almost entirely all in place still for this season. You wouldn’t want to bet serious money on a group of corners and safeties producing with any consistency but there’s no reason to think that they will be worse so you have to consider this area the strength of the D.

Trending down

OVERALL

183.20 ppg, 5^th best in league

Barring another clean sweep of disappointment, the Bombermen have to be better on offence this season. On paper their starting lineup is excellent but I am concerned about the depth behind it. The same could be said of the defence except that, DT and DB excluded, I would say the starting lineup is average. If this team is going to challenge they’re going to need their big names to produce and to stay on the field but I worry that the teams around them have strengthened more than Hendy’s men have.

Champions of the Sun

OFFENCE/SPECIAL TEAMS

122.17 ppg, best in league

QB 16.52 ppg, 9^th RB 35.13 ppg, 2^nd WR/TE 56.31 ppg, 1^st SPEC 14.21 ppg, 3^rd

When you have the best offence in the league, where do you look to improve? Well, the stats would tell you to look at your QBs who averaged out at replacement level for the season. There were a couple of games that Roethlisberger left injured that influences that but Max Cubberley was lucky that Carson Palmer’s poor numbers didn’t come in the regular season as they might have cost him a couple of wins. Will they be better in 2016? Palmer is gone so it really all depends on Ben Roethlisberger’s health. If he plays 16 games then they probably will but if he goes down injured it becomes Joe Flacco or Paxton Lynch calling the shots and things could get ugly.

A triple combination of Latavius Murray, Thomas Rawls and DeAngelo Williams really brought home the bacon for the Champions last season as they scored consistently well through the year to prop up the team. Rawls is gone for the coming season but Murray and the Bell/Williams tandem should still be top performers. Behind them Cubberley would have been hoping Jay Ajayi would provide depth but Arian Foster seems to have taken the starting job in Miami and so he will be relying on the mercurial talents of Shane Vereen or a rookie breakout from Devontae Booker or Keith Marshall to back-up and that’s not ideal.

Breakout seasons from Allen Robinson, Jordan Reed and DeAndre Hopkins led to the Champions’ receivers plowing a furrow through most opposing defences last season, scoring nearly 9 points more per week than the 3^rd placed unit. John Brown, Mike Evans, Travis Kelce and the late addition of Eric Decker really reinforced the strength of this group and it’s no surprise that they topped the scoring charts. Cubberley took the somewhat perplexing decision to move Allen Robinson on in the off-season though, ostensibly because he couldn’t afford to renew him, and the loss of Decker also makes this unit weaker. The Champions are gambling on Mike Evans to bounce back and replace Allen Robinson’s production and have also brought in Golden Tate to shore things up. Reed and Kelce are still present at TE in one of the best TE tandems in the league. Expect to see this group fall back to the pack but still be a top producer.

Trending down

DEFENCE

95.05 ppg, best in league

DL 20.68 ppg, 6^th
LB 35.89 ppg, 1^st
DB 38.48 ppg, 1^st

If the offence was the best in the league by a length, the defence was best in the league by a country mile, averaging nearly 12 points per week more than the unit in 2^nd. The biggest reason for this was a surprisingly huge production from the DBs. The Champions don’t roster a lot at this position but Reshad Jones and Kurt Coleman were both top 10 safeties and Josh Norman, Adam Jones and Marcus Williams were all top 10 cornerbacks. Every member of that secondary is back this season but the fickle nature of the position means that Cubberley cannot count on that production continuing. Norman is in a new spot, Jones is a year older and Coleman’s supporting cast has diminished. They should still be good but you wouldn’t want to bet on them being the best.

If secondary was the strength of the D then the line was the weakness. Marcell Dareus is a fantasy bust and Robert Quinn played half a season at best, leaving the Champions without their top two earners on the line. Thankfully Cubberley struck gold on the wire with Tom Johnson from Minnesota and a mid-season trade for Olivier Vernon made up for the loss of Quinn. The line should be stronger in 2016. Cubberley drafted three rookie DTs and, although it looks like Tom Johnson will still lead the line into the season, he can hope that by week 9 he may have more options there. At DE though Robert Quinn is back and has been joined by the newly re-classified Khalil Mack. Add Robert Ayers (#8 DE by average weekly points), Olivier Vernon, Calais Campbell, Leonard Williams and a healthy Dante Fowler Jr. to the mix and, frankly, it all looks a bit silly.

In a reverse-Chandler Jones though, the line’s gain is the linebackers’ loss as Khalil Mack’s re-classification leaves the Champions’ #1 LB corps light. Jamie Collins, Navorro Bowman and Anthony Barr are back but Justin Houston may or may not play this year. There is scarily little depth present at this position at the moment and Cubberley will have to look to address that before the season starts otherwise this unit will see a serious drop off.

Trending down

OVERALL

217.21 ppg, best in league

Although both sides of this team are trending down I still think the Champions will be one of the better teams in the league. Cubberley has leveraged some of his potential to repeat to try and build for longevity a bit through the draft and that will see the team drop to the pack but hopefully stay bobbing near the top, hunting for the playoffs.

Kelkowski Don’t Play By No Dynarules

OFFENCE/SPECIAL TEAMS

109.08 ppg, 4^th best in league

QB 19.94 ppg, 4^th RB 30.00 ppg, 5^th WR/TE 45.88 ppg, 5^th SPEC 13.25 ppg, 5^th

After a slow start to the season that saw Kelkowski start 1-4 they really rallied at the right time and made a strong, late run to the playoffs. Looking at their scores it’s a story of consistency across the board being just top-half in every category. This would seem to tell the tale of an offence with few weaknesses but perhaps lacking in top-end but in fact it was more a case of top-end talent not performing at a top-end level for one reason or another. At RB Mark Ingram only played half a season and Arian Foster managed less than that. DeMarco Murray was trapped in a nightmare and TJ Yeldon was defeated by game script. Despite all of that though they put up good numbers and gave Kelkowski a solid floor every week. This season Murray is in a better spot but Foster a worse. Ingram is still going to be top 5 when fit and TJ Yeldon has gone from being flummoxed by game script to being flummoxed by Chris Ivory. Pretty much status quo at Kelkowski.

QB is a tale of a jaguar. Well, not just a jaguar but El Jaguar. Blake Bortles ascent into the stratosphere of premiere QBs was a thing of beauty and timed to perfection to help Kelkowski as Romo and Kaepernick both finally gave up any pretence of fantasy relevance. This season they have a little more depth behind them but I have my doubts as to whether El Jaguar will get quite the stats he did last year, if only because the Jags may not be losing quite as much, quite as often (I can’t believe I just put that in black and white).

What was a tremendous WR group for Kelkowski in 2014 took a step back last year as Calvin Johnson got older, Julius Thomas went to Jacksonville and Randall Cobb took a step back. Their numbers were saved by Doug Baldwin’s frankly ludicrous second half of 2015 and Ben Watson coming out of leftfield to be a fantasy TE1. This year Megatron and Watson are gone and Kelkowski are relying on Baldwin to continue his form in order to give them a truly top tier WR and Julius Thomas to stay healthy to produce at TE. Unless they do Kelkowski may find themselves lagging behind the field at receiver.

Trending down

DEFENCE

79.66 ppg, 4^th best in league

DL 14.82 ppg, 9^th
LB 33.81 ppg, 2^nd
DB 31.03 ppg, 4^th

In drafting Kwon Alexander, Preston Smith and Stephone Anthony, did Kelkowski show themselves as IDP draft geniuses or did they just get lucky? Whichever it was, the trio of rookies produced and, alongside wily vets Brandon Marshall and D’Qwell Jackson, contributed to the 2^nd best LB unit in the league. This season they’ve added Jerell Freeman, Dont’a Hightower and Nigel Bradham to strengthen an already powerful unit and should be right up there again.

Kelkowski’s eye for talent seems to apply equally to the secondary too where they had 5 safeties and 3 cornerbacks over 100 points. There has been turnover at CB this off-season but that isn’t necessarily a problem as the position is very volatile. The names Kelkowski have in place offer a lot of potential again and their solid S group from last year is largely intact leaving them with the most strength in depth in the league at this spot.

Where Kelkowski were let down was on the defensive line, a recurring problem for many teams in the league. Everson Griffen did not produce at his 2014 levels and he and Cliff Avril were a pedestrian DE pairing. It was even worse at DT where Malcolm Brown (DT15 but nearly 200 points down on Aaron Donald at #1) was their top scorer. Things look brighter this year with Malik Jackson moving to DT, Jason Pierre Paul having got through an off-season without blowing any more bits of his hands up and Mario Edwards Jr into his second season. The ceiling still looks low on this group but they have a chance to be better than last year.

Steady

OVERALL

188.74 ppg, 3^rd best in league

Although they added a lot of strength in depth to the defence I don’t actually see the ceiling being raised a long way and I’m concerned about the depth on the offensive side of the ball. Kelkowski aren’t as bad as their first half of 2015 but they aren’t as good as their second half of 2015 either and I think they could end up pretty middle of the pack in Tim.

DynaHard With A Vengeance

OFFENCE/SPECIAL TEAMS

115.45 ppg, 2^nd best in league

QB 19.08 ppg, 5^th RB 33.91 ppg, 3^rd WR/TE 47.91 ppg, 3^rd SPEC 14.55 ppg, 1^st

Embroiled in a two horse race with the Champions of the Sun for the best record in the Dbowl for most of the season, Chris Braithwaite denied the fans the Owl they wanted by choking in the semi-final against the Tamworth Two. DynaHarder were strong all over the roster but it’s at WR where their depth really shone from stars like Antonio Brown and TY Hilton to impact youngsters like Sammy Watkins, Allen Hurns and Tyler Lockett. Their 3^rd place finish is perhaps a reflection that a lot of these players are young and a bit inconsistent but more than good enough to put the points up each week. The TE position was a bit of an achilles heel with a bunch of pedestrian options however. Over the summer Chris has engaged “win now” mode, trading away youngsters and picks for Dez Bryant to attempt to move from 3^rd to 1^st. The Hards have more than enough depth to take the hit though and looks stronger than ever in this department for 2016 although if Martellus Bennett isn’t a big part of the New England offence they may be light at TE again.

A power couple of Jamaal Charles and Todd Gurley made sure that Chris’ RBs held up their end of the bargain too. Jeremy Langford got a welcome boost by Matt Forte’s injury and Alfred Morris proved his usual dependable if unexciting self in Washington. This season the outlook isn’t so rosy. Todd Gurley is still a stud but there are doubts about Jamaal Charles’ role, Jeremy Langford’s competence and Alfred Morris has become a back-up in Dallas, albeit one with a huge ceiling if Ezekiel Elliott goes down. The rest of Chris’ selection consists of questionable rookie picks (Wendell Smallwood, Kenyan Drake) and handcuffs (Charcandrick West and Benny Cunningham). It’s still not difficult to envisage a scenario in which this unit produces at a top level but it’s far from guaranteed.

At QB Chris rode on the back of a good season for Eli Manning for most of the year before making a trade to bring in Tom Brady to prevent the usual post-season choke (not much luck there). Before Brady’s arrival the group was at a low-end QB1 level and that’s probably still where it is. The future looks a little better if Stafford can maintain his form of the second half of last season but Chris may well be looking around again as the trade deadline looms trying to find that extra bit of quality.

Steady

DEFENCE

83.58 ppg, 2^nd best in league

DL 27.43 ppg, 3^rd
LB 29.76 ppg, 4^th
DB 26.39 ppg, 6^th

It was a strong effort all round in 2015 from DynaHarder, led by the D-line where the force of nature that is JJ Watt continued to dominate and Ziggy Ansah’s potential started to pay off with a 14.5 sack season. The line was kept from dominating truly by mediocre options at DT with Brandon Williams and Johnathan Hankins and that situation is the same going into 2016. Ansah and Watt are still present too and Sheard and Ninkovich offer decent depth behind. If I had to pick one unit on any team to perform almost identically to last season it would be Chris Braithwaite’s D-Line.

In 2015 injuries to Kiko Alonso, Terrell Suggs and Jadeveon Clowney left the Hards looking a little thin at LB but a trade for Thomas Davis mid-season took care of that and, ably supported by CJ Mosely and Von Miller, the group started to put up good numbers. Those three are all back this season and Deone Bucannon has been re-designated as an LB, giving Braithwaite an excellent starting four. Jadeveon Clowney has the potential to put up big numbers too but beyond those 5 players there’s little else here. It would take a lot of bad luck to unsettle this group in 2016 though.

DynaHarder’s secondary was run-of-the-mill last season and, for 2016, they’ve lost their top 2 safeties with Walter Thurmond no longer on the roster and Bucannon moved to LB. Chris will be hoping to cover that gap with free agent signing Harrison Smith and Thurmond’s replacement in Philly, Rodney McLeod. Smith has top 10 pedigree but time will tell if McLeod or rookie Keanu Neal can step up. At CB Damarious Randall is coming into his 2^nd year in Green Bay after a good first season and you know that teams will throw at Delvin Breaux all day long.

Steady

OVERALL

199.03 ppg, 2^nd best in league

On both Offence and Defence it looks like more of the same for Chris Braithwaite’s Dyna Hard. Even if his corps of running backs isn’t as robust as last year that’s compensated for by a top-heavy WR unit and a defence that looks as steady as they come as a top-line group. If you were wanting to point to a weakness then you could say that DynaHard may struggle for production at TE week-on-week but, really, they should be able to get by.

MAX’S STAT BLATS! Pre-Season Peter Preview

August 25, 2016

Max Cubberley

It’s nearly time for the new season of football and so it’s time to let the Stat Blats get all up in yo’ bidness and make you feel tingly. Below is a combination 2015 season review and 2016 season preview for each team in Peter. Want to know where the Sadness’ QBs ranked last season? This is your place. Want to know my opinion on whether the Breeses have improved their woeful linebacker corps? Come on in friend!

Tamworth Two

OFFENCE/SPECIAL TEAMS

106.3 points per game (ppg), 5^th best in league

QB 18.52 ppg, 6^thRB 32.21 ppg, 4^thWR/TE 43.22 ppg, 8^thSPEC 12.35 ppg, 9^th

Looking at the stats it’s clear that sub-par offensive performance was the thing that kept T2 from challenging more closely in the Owl. When you pay Aaron Rodgers the big bucks you expect better than run-of-the-mill QB numbers but that’s what he put up last season. There were mitigating factors though and, despite the fact he’s on another roster, they must have their fingers crossed hoping Jordy Nelson will be back in form this season.

RB was the Hogs’ strongest position last season riding the unexpected highs of Chris Ivory and Darren McFadden. Run DMC is down the Cowboys depth chart now though and Chris Ivory is gone, leaving T2 looking sparse. Jonathan Stewart is still pootling along and they have the Buffalo backfield sewn up tight but Duke Johnson is not someone I would want to be relying on for my third RB position.

Injuries to Alshon Jeffery and DeVante Parker hit Tamworth hard at WR last season and their 8^th placed finish will be some way off what they’d have been hoping for at season start. The bad news is that I don’t see where it’s improved. Jarvis Landry, their WR1, is gone, DeVante Parker is, by all accounts, running hot and cold in camp and Demayrius Thomas will be catching balls from the Sanchize. At TE there is hope for Eric Ebron and Virgil Green but neither are a sure thing for regular production.

Trending down

DEFENCE

82.23 ppg, 3^rd best in league

DL 33.02 ppg, 1^st
LB 25.83 ppg, 6^th
DB 23.38 ppg, 7^th

So if your offence isn’t great then how do you get to the final of the Owl? Great defence. Defence wins Owls. The Hogs’ had a dominant line led by Kawann Short and Gerald McCoy, two of the best fantasy DTs in the business. They’ve lost their best DE, Chandler Jones, to a position switch though and will be relying on the promising Stephon Tuitt and rookie Chris Jones to pick up the slack, a big ask.

The Hogs’ LB corps was a sea of pregnant potential and mediocrity, lifted by the transcendent talents of Luke Kuechly and the hard graft of Paul Posluszny. The Pos has jumped ship for the coming season but the unexpectedly solid Whitney Mercilus should still produce and Jeremiah Attaouchu is poised to break it big. Add to that the fact that the D-Line’s loss is the ‘Backer corps’ gain when it comes to Chandler Jones and things should keep ticking along nicely.

The Hogs were let down in the secondary by a poor showing from their safeties. Kam Chancellor being motivated for a whole season may help but David Amerson will lose snaps at CB to Sean Smith in Oakland so there is a question mark about his ability to repeat last season’s good showing.

Steady

OVERALL

188.52 ppg, 4^th best in league

The Hogs should see performance drop from last season. The defence will still be there or thereabouts but the offence has taken a hit in the loss of Landry and Ivory. If Aaron Rodgers can play like he’s paid he may make up for it.

Prediction: 6-7, 3^rd in Peter

East Flanders Dungeoneers

OFFENCE/SPECIAL TEAMS

104.17 ppg, 6^th best in league

QB 20.97 ppg, 2^nd RB 26.22 ppg, 7^thWR/TE 44.24 ppg, 6^thSPEC 12.74 ppg, 8^th

Being definitively the worst team on the Dbowl last season means it makes for slightly surprising reading to see that the Dungeoneers were middle of the pack in offensive terms. Cam Newton’s rise to superstardom helped buoy the numbers no doubt, racking up the record highest weekly score for a QB in the process, and he should continue to raise his team for the coming season.

The RBs were a mess in East Flanders last year with Justin Forsett and Carlos Hyde both missing considerable time and forcing Pete Conaghan to rely on the likes of Ronnie Hillman and Darren Sproles. Danny Woodhead was a consistently good performer though who at least made sure to keep Conaghan’s men from complete ignominy week on week. The Dungeoneers have re-signed Rashad Jennings on a good deal and brought in T2 reject Chris Ivory to strengthen this season but will still rely on Woodhead for production. A fit season from Carlos Hyde could make a huge difference however.

Amari Cooper, Brandon Marshall and Michael Floyd all put in good showings last season but a lack of depth behind those big names and a horror show at TE kept the Dungeoneers from putting up consistent good scores at receiver. Things are looking much better this year. Those three are all still in the fold and have been joined by a fully fit Kevin White and Keenan Allen plus rookie Josh Doctson. The TEs are no better in terms of personnel but Coby Fleener escaping from Indianapolis to New Orleans hikes his ceiling way up.

Trending up

DEFENCE

63.80 ppg, 9^th best in league

DL 15.64 ppg, 8^th
LB 27.37 ppg, 5^th
DB 20.79 ppg, 10^th

If the Dungeoneers offence were surprisingly good for the worst team in the league then that can only mean one thing for the defence. Look away now, Pete, it’s not pretty! Tyrone Crawford was the star on the defensive line last year, turning in a top 10 performance. There is absolutely no depth behind him however though if Sen’Derrick Marks can stay fit and work into the Jacksonville rotation significantly he offers some hope. Kony Ealy flashed his talent last season too and Conaghan will be hoping that the Panthers’ DE can step up to the next level this season.

When you’re only paying two of your LBs more than $3 and one of those two is Paul Worrilow your expectations for the unit are probably reduced. Pete can be quite happy then with his middle-of-the-pack placing. Astute signings of tackle machines Melvin Ingram and Malcolm Smith brought a good floor to the team and the likes of KJ Wright and Worrilow produced steady if uninspiring numbers. The Dungeoneers’ prospects of improvement have been hindered by Shaq Lawson’s injury but the Justin-Houston-shaped hole in Kansas may open the door for Dee Ford and Vontaze Burfict’s suspension may put Paul Dawson in the mix.

What do you do when you have the worst secondary in the league and the top-scoring player in that secondary retires? Nothing! Apparently! That’s not fair, Pete signed rookie safety Karl Joseph. I’m sure he’ll be a good player down the line but expecting him to replicate Charles Woodson’s numbers in year one is probably asking a bit much. The Dungeoneers are relying on the fickle nature of the secondary to provide a better result.

Steady

OVERALL

167.97 ppg, 10^th best in league

I don’t think the Dungeoneers will finish the season as the worst team in the league again; the offence has the potential to put up top 3 numbers under the right circumstances. Unfortunately, the defence is still a hot mess and will drag the team down.

Prediction: 5-8, 4^th in Peter

The People’s Republic of the 4^th Dynmension: Dynasty of Sadness

OFFENCE/SPECIAL TEAMS

102.06 ppg, 8^th best in league

QB 14.98 ppg, 10^th RB 19.74 ppg, 10^thWR/TE 54.46 ppg, 2^ndSPEC 12.88 ppg, 6^th

Well, if you’re not sure what an unbalanced offence looks like then there you go. The problems at the QB position for the Sadness were largely self-inflicted as Mangboob’s love for Teddy Tinyhands prevented him from just starting Drew Brees in every game he was available for. Brees averaged 20.28 points per game, a full 5 more than the Sadness did. Even if you add in the fact that Teddy averaged 11.5 points in the two weeks Brees missed that is a clear case of overthinking it. Mangboob should not make the same mistake this year.

Unfortunately, the Sadness’ struggles at RB cannot be blamed on GM tinkering. It turns out that owning the entire Lions’ backfield is not conducive to fantasy success. Eddy Lacy’s plummet off a cliff accounts for some of the underperformance here and Mangboob has lost patience with the player, shipping him out to the Firebirds. He has been replaced by number 1 draft pick Ezekiel Elliott, one of the most hyped fantasy rookie prospects of all time. Zeke and fellow rookie Kenneth Dixon add some spark to the position and Abdullah and Matt Jones could improve in their second years. This is a young unit on a young team and should get better year-on-year.

In contrast, the Sadness’ receivers were stellar. Led by superstar OBJ, even a down season for Dez Bryant couldn’t stop them marching to 2^nd place on the receiver rankings. Eric Decker, Delanie Walker, Golden Tate and, surprisingly, Ted Ginn Jr turned in performance after performance over the season to keep scores high. This season it’s all change with Dez, Tate and Decker gone but Stefon Diggs, Laquon Treadwell, Michael Thomas and DeSean Jackson come in. Mangboob is building for the future and while I would expect to see this unit decline this season they look strong for the future and improvement elsewhere should more than make up for it.

Steady

DEFENCE

77.18 ppg, 6^th best in league

DL 14.66 ppg, 10^th
LB 33.62 ppg, 3^rd
DB 28.90 ppg, 5^th

The defensive line is the real Achilles heel for a defence that is otherwise strong. Mangboob has three players there and they are all nearly men. Michael Brockers is a very good player but with the strength on that Rams’ line his play doesn’t equate to fantasy points. Linval Joseph and Sharif Floyd are both similarly good players but Tom Johnson’s pass rush exploits on the interior limit their upside. All are young and Joseph missed a few games with injury so Mangboob can hope for an improvement. He’ll have to, because he has brought in no extra help for his tackles. The viewing is even more bleak at Defensive End where no player scored over 80 points. Sheldon Richardson is a talented idiot but the others are just not elite players. The drafting of Robert Nkemdiche may help but he enters a crowded situation in Arizona and we will likely not see him emerge until at least 2017.

The linebackers at the Sadness, by contrast, are elite and dominant. Lavonte David, Telvin Smith and Bobby Wagner are all top level talents on the field and on your fantasy teams and are young enough to provide for a few years yet. Behind them, Danny Trevathan, Mychal Kendricks and Bruce Irvin feel like players on the cusp of a fantasy boom and with Trevathan and Irvin in new teams this season this year could be the year.

The secondary is a similar situation to T2’s linebackers: an average group of players propelled upwards by one stellar talent. Tyrann Mathieu scored twice as much as most other members of the Sadness’ secondary last season and the rest were much of a muchness. Sean Smith comes in this year and Eric Berry is re-signed to a better contract but question marks of Tyrann Mathieu’s health mean that last season’s performance probably remains the ceiling for this bunch.

Steady

OVERALL

179.23 ppg, 6^th best in league

I don’t think this season will see much change for the Sadness. They have lost elite level talent at WR but added a lot of young players and have a deeper pool of players to pick from. A lot is riding on Zeke Elliott’s shoulders as far as this season is concerned. If Mangboob decides to start Teddy Bridgewater all season long then all bets are off.

Prediction: 5-8, 5^th in Peter

Dynasore Losers

OFFENCE/SPECIAL TEAMS

99.75 ppg, 10^th best in league

QB 16.56 ppg, 8^th RB 28.83 ppg, 6^th
WR/TE 39.87 ppg, 10^thSPEC 14.49 ppg, 2^nd

Hoo boy, it’s difficult to know where to start with this one. The Losers’ WRs were a horror show last year. Jordy Nelson injured, Josh Gordon failing to get reinstated, Emmanuel Sanders feeling the bite of the Peter-collapse, Torrey Smith left hopping mad by Colin Kaepernick and Nelson Agholor leaving everyone wondering what Chip Kelly deemed worth the 20^th overall pick about him. Add to that a wasteland at TE and it’s easy to see how this unit came out bottom in points scoring per game. That kind of luck should regress back towards the mean this year and almost every player at this position should be better in 2016. The loss of Larry Fitzgerald is a blow to the weekly floor of the group but Jarvis Landry, the Losers’ big blockbuster summer trade, covers that and more. The Losers are a candidate to go from worst to first at WR in 2016.

A shallow group at RB left a lot on the shoulders of Adrian Peterson and Matt Forte and it was enough to struggle to mid-table in the RB rankings. David Slater is relying heavily on rookies Jordan Howard and DeAndre Washington to provide depth for the coming season though. Dion Lewis is already out, surgery required on his knee, and AP and Forte are getting no younger. This situation could get very unpleasant, very fast.

If that happens, Slater may look to trade in some of his excess talent at QB. The group performed poorly last season with Peter Manning’s decline the headline event but this season should be vastly improved. Andy Dalton is healthy, Jameis Winston is no longer a rookie and Derek Carr is heading into his 3^rd year heading an offence going from strength to strength. Add to that the free agency addition of Carson Palmer and this is a strong group that should be able to comfortably mix and match each week for the best matchups.

Trending up

DEFENCE

75.93 ppg, 7^th best in league

DL 23.33 ppg, 5^th
LB 20.27 ppg, 9^th
DB 32.34 ppg, 3^rd

A much-reduced year from Ryan Kerrigan was still the highlight of the LBs at the Losers last year as he was the only player to top 100 points. David Slater put a lot of work into fixing the offence but this was another place that the Losers were giving points away on a weekly basis. The free-agency addition of Paul Posluszny, plus the drafting of three rookie LBs shows that Slater recognised this fact and has moved to address it. The group is still raw and has a lot of question marks but is an improvement over last season, albeit only a small one for this year.

A middle of the pack defensive line remains largely unchanged. Carlos Dunlap was re-signed to resume a powerful starting tandem at DE but if one goes down then much will depend on 2^nd year rusher Danielle Hunter of the Vikings. Hunter looked excellent in limited snaps in his rookie year and Slater will hope that he can maintain that form into more snaps.

The strongest unit on the Losers’ defence remains largely intact though whether Marcus Peters can perform at the same level in year 2 is questionable. Some regression to the mean is to be expected (players are rarely consistently at the top of the CB rankings) but the brothers Johnson (Kevin and Trumaine) and Logan Ryan should be able to offer plentiful depth. At safety Slater will grind his teeth as he hopes for Michael Mitchell of the Steelers to remain steady and clasp his hands in prayer that Tashaun Gipson can recapture his 2014 Cleveland form in Jacksonville.

Steady

OVERALL

175.69 ppg, 8^th best in league

Unless the Losers are struck by catastrophic bad luck again this year they should perform better. The QB and receiver units can hopefully carry the RBs on offence and an improvement from 9^th to 7^th or so in the LBs would be enough to see the defence able to support. I expect an improved year but not an Owl year.

Prediction: 7-6, 1^st in Peter

Here Comes The Brees

OFFENCE/SPECIAL TEAMS

111.22 ppg, 3^rd best in league

QB 20.20 ppg, 3^rd RB 38.24 ppg, 1^st WR/TE 39.98 ppg, 9^thSPEC 12.81 ppg, 7^th

If I’d asked at the start of last season which Dbowl team had the best RBs in the league would you have said the Breeses? Come on now, don’t lie. Doug Martin’s renaissance, Devonta Freeman’s explosion and a combination of Lamar Miller and (really) Isaiah Crowell left the team top of the pile. All four of those players are back this year with the added depth of Charles Sims, Darren Sproles and a healthy Tevin Coleman. The Breeses are set up nicely to repeat in 2016 and perhaps even improve though a predicted decline for Freeman and Martin after their monster seasons could throw a spanner in the works.

It’s a good job Archer and Sayles’ RBs were such a surprise smash hit because the receivers were a disaster. Injuries for Steve Smith, Breshad Perriman and DeSean Jackson left the team scrambling to field a decent unit and there were too many weeks of Pierre Garcon and Terrance Williams for anything to be salvageable. Tyler Eifert was a ray of hope at TE, particularly with Zach Ertz providing depth. The Breeses have gone all out this summer to rectify what is their problem position on offence with a host of bodies run through camp. The big arrival was Martavis Bryant, right at the tail end of last season, but a year-long suspension buried that. The new big arrival was Allen Robinson who has, incredibly, yet to get suspended or go on injured reserve for the entire season. Larry Fitzgerald and Jaelen Strong also arrived and even with the departure of DeSean Jackson the unit looks better. Phillip Dorsett comes into his 2^nd year with a path clear to a starting job, Travis Benjamin lands in a friendly spot in San Diego and JJ Nelson is pushing in Arizona.

Even with Andrew Luck’s injury, the Breeses managed to get good QB production, largely thanks to Tom Brady with occasional spells of Fitzmagic. Luck is fit this season, Brady is back (albeit suspended for the first 4 games) and Alex Smith is ready to step in in an emergency. This unit should be top end producer again.

Trending up

DEFENCE

60.20 ppg, 10^th best in league

DL 19.02 ppg, 7^th
LB 18.39 ppg, 10^th
DB 22.79 ppg, 8^th

Well, that is ugly reading. There were very few bright spots for the Breeses on defence after they traded away Aaron Donald. Fletcher Cox had a breakout season at DE but the Breeses got unlucky mixing and matching between him, Cameron Jordan and Michael Bennett and too often the big points were on the bench. For the new season though Fletcher Cox has moved to DT, solving that problem. The Breeses should not PLOB themselves out of his points any longer. Not least because, at time of writing, they have no other DTs on the roster. Jordan and Bennett are still in place at DE, backed up by Jaye Howard and new boy DeForest Buckner. I think we should see this unit move into the top half in the league but if Cox goes down there is (literally) nothing to cover for him.

Sheesh, if you thought the DL reading was bad, take a look at this shower. In week 10 last season, the Breeses started Karlos Dansby, Daryl Smith, Jelani Jenkins and Derrick Morgan. Not a collection to inspire fear in the opposition. I’m not convinced this unit looks any better going into 2016. Dansby and Pernell McPhee are good starters but 2^nd year guys Shaq Thompson and Jordan Hicks are going to have to step up if there is to be any improvement. It’s still a fairly uninspiring bunch.

At DB the Breeses suffered a blow when they lost Harrison Smith for the year but they got a nice surprise in the performance of DROY Ronald Darby who put up a nice tally. There’s little to see here beyond that. Earl Thomas is an amazing real-life safety and an average fantasy one and the rest of the unit were all much of a muchness. This season the CBs are the same but the Ss get a little influx with the drafting of Von Bell and the signing of Barry Church but the inexplicable decision to drop Harrison Smith (the #1 safety in 2014) means that I can’t say this unit has improved.

Steady

OVERALL

171.42 ppg, 9^th best in league

It’s easy to see that the Breeses have improved on offence. A lot of their guys are starting the season healthier, more experienced or in better situations than last year and strength has been added, particularly to the wide receivers. I can still see them being hampered by a defence, however, which seems to take a step back for every step it takes forward. It won’t be the worst in the league again, but it will be a long way from the best.

Prediction: 7-6, 2^nd in Peter

Guest Mock Draft by James ‘Goody’ Goodson of the Tamworth Two

May 16, 2016

Commish

Mock Draft Rookie Draft No Comments

MOCK DRAFT! Get your MOCK DRAFT here! Roll up, roll up, ladies and gentlemen, see the astounding sights of the mock draft up close and personal (don’t worry, he won’t bite, but do keep your hands out of his cage…). Drum roll please, if you will, and introducing for your pleasure and delight, the mock draft stylings of Mr James ‘Goody’ Goodson.

Pick 1.01 and… The Sadness choose…
Ezekiel Elliot, RB.
Elliot will be the handcuff to Darren McFadden so taking the most pro-bowl likely RB makes sense. This means they’ll look at a franchise RB, and with Elliot they have a RB who does everything well. He’s in a tier on his own above everyone else on my board so he’s the 1st overall pick in this mock. They just hope DMC avoids getting injured so Elliot can secure RB1.

With pick 1.02 the Firebirds choose…
Corey Coleman, WR.
Another tough one as I think the Firebirds have better strength at WR than RB, but there is a real limited quality in long term value in RB, especially in this year’s draft. A dynasty franchise is set up around WR talent and Coleman pips Doctson. The latter being a better dynasty target as both Racist’s receivers are are expected to be FAs in 2017

With pick 1.03 the Dungeoneers pick..
Josh Doctson, WR.
As above, and if Doctson can bulk up I think he’ll be a very good solid receiver. He has good height and will offer good long term value offer excellent value

With pick 1.04 the Losers choose
Laquon Treadwell, WR.
Treadwell is my number 4 receiver, and I think David loves Treadwell. He’s a very good receiver. His tape shows off some fantastic competitive plays, from blocks to contested catches but, I just don’t think he is quite as good as Michael Thomas. While the Losers RB and WR depth is weighted towards the latter, a potential WR1 is too good to turn down in a dynasty league. He’s a good fit for the WR1 at the Vikings, usurping last year’s surprise package, Diggs as the season goes on. His lower speed won’t be an issue with Teddy’s noodle arm and short passes.

With pick 1.05 the Champions pick…
Michael Thomas, WR.
I love Thomas. I think Thomas could be better than Coleman, but he I think initially, he won’t be a viable fantasy option. He is great with contested catches and will be a nice addition to the Champions’ roster.

With pick 1.06 the Sadness choose…
Sterling Shepard, WR.
I love Sterling Shepard. He will be a legitimate WR 2 for the Giants and will be the perfect foil for OBJ. With the ability to play in the slot but underestimated outside, the best route runner in the draft will likely have a very high floor. The Sadness improve on their 2016 monopoly with an excellent safe pick.

With pick 1.07 Kelkowski pick…
Derrick Henry RB
While the landing spot of Henry won’t result in Kelkowski doing flips, the ability for him to take a lot of the possible red zone touches will be gratefully received at the Mahoney Memorial Stadium. While they haven’t replaced megatron, there is a clear dearth or top tier rookie relievers so this pick is a case of BPA. Don’t be surprised to see Kelkowski attempt to trade up a few spots.

With pick 1.08 The Sadness choose…
Kenneth Dixon, RB.
With Dixon joining Booker in, arguably, one of the best two landing spots, the Sadness make a sensible pick and choose my no. 2 RB.

With 1.09 The Firebirds select…
Devontae Booker, RB.
It’s a bit of a tough pick for the Firebirds. Booker allows them to secure the Denver running game, but doesn’t add much to their depleted RB personnel. They’ve already nabbed the best receiver on the ball and a great landing spot helps them take this pick with little fuss.

With 1.10 the Champions of the Sun pick…
CJ Prosise, RB.
This pick was to be either Prosise or Kenyan Drake of Miami. However I’m going for the upside that Prosise offers as Rawls may not be as fancied as previously thought. Procise can play all 3 downs, is a bit of a freak athlete and can be the receiver Rawls isn’t. 6th round Rawls can be cut with no cost next year at Seattle. 3rd Round Prosise makes sense here. Will Kenyan Drake hang around long enough for the Champions next pick?

With 2.01 The Sadness choose…
Tyler Boyd, WR.
Another freak athlete. With Sanu’s target to go around, the Sadness show can continue.

With 2.02 the Sadness pick…
Hunter Henry, TE.
The best Tight End in the draft who has been compared to Jason Witten. With this pick, the Sadness stockpile depth and take advantage of an ageing Walker on their roster and the expected slow break outs of Tight Ends. Don’t be surprised if the Sadness try to trade down to snag Jaded Goff as Qb is a need.

With 2.03 the Dungeoneers choose…
Paul Perkins, RB.
With a menagerie of backs in New York, Perkins is well suited to take the main carries off an ageing Jennings and a sub par back up committee. Music to the Dungeoneers ears as they have Jennings on their books.

With pick 2.04 The Losers choose…
Malcolm Mitchell, WR.
With superb character and a good landing spot to take on LaFells targets, the Losers pick up one of the safer rookie receivers in this draft who excels at route running, just what Brady likes.

With pick 2.05 the Firebirds choose…
Will Fuller, WR.
Surprised that Fuller fell so low in this draft, the Firebirds snag Houston’s deep ball threat. Fuller had one of the best yards after catch in college and could be a steal at 2.05

With pick 2.06 the Bombermen rock the boat and pick…
Jordan Howard, RB.
Strategically this may be a perfect pick. Langford was not impressive in Chicago with only 3.6 yards per carry and only forcing 7 missed tackles over the entire season. Now with a legitimate powerful back, the Bombermen stop their divisional rival getting stronger and improve upon their only decent RBs of Hill and David Johnson. Another option I was looking at, was Dynaharder trading up to 2.05 to grab Howard to avoid this situation.

At 2.07 Kelkowski pick…
Mike Thomas, WR
This is a great pick for Kelkowski. With very little competition in LA, and the natural ability for a spectacular catch, Thomas (the better Thomas in some people’s eyes) offers superb upside. With only gadget play specialist Tavon Austin to really offer any threat to targets, expect Thomas to perform above his expected pick to be a standout receiver.

At 2.08 Dyna Harder choose…
Wendall Smallwood, RB
With an ADP of 2.09 Wendall Smallwood is moving up boards. A natural runner with a lot of power, Dynaharder pick the Eagles’ Running back and trade with the Firebirds for Mathews to move down later in the draft. This is the best of a bad situation for Dynahard as they were relying on Howard hanging around until 2.08.

At 2.09 the TT choose…
Rashard Higgins, WR
The Cleveland WR graded out as one of the top receivers in 2014 by PFF and this fills a need of arguably the best team in the league who have no weaknesses.

At 2.10 Dynaharder pick…
Tajae Sharpe, WR.
Another well thought of receiver, Sharpe provides Dynaharder with some good depth in a great situation. With Kendall Wright and Justin Hunter only in front of him, Sharpe should get a good amount of targets as the year progresses.

Two-round Mock Draft

May 11, 2016

Pete

Mock Draft No Comments

[Commissioner note: this article was written before the Dez Bryant blockbuster trade that saw Dyna Hard picks transfer to the Dynasty of Sadness]

And so we enter the season of mock drafts, drafts, and draft grades. I’ll start the speculation with the first post-NFL draft hot take – here are the players you should be drafting in the first two rounds:

1.01 Dynasty of Sadness

Despite their analytics department urging the Sadness to trade the pick for a massive haul, owner Geoffrey Manboob ejects them from the war room and sticks a broomhandle in the door. Ezekiel Elliot.

1.02 DynaForOne Firebirds

The Firebirds try to trade down and pick up Derrick Henry, but with no teams offering ‘value’, Neil is forced to go WR here. Laquon Treadwell.

1.03 East Flanders Dungeoneers

The Dungeoneers have similar RB worries, with potentially only two of their current RBs being on the 2017 roster. The Jay Gruden Siren Call proves too much however, and they draft Josh Doctson.

1.04 Dynasore Losers

The Losers’ natural antipathy to Drew Brees has them select Corey Coleman here; potentially a high-target steal at this draft position.

1.05 Champions of the Sun

With no needs at RB, the literal as well as figurative Champions select The Real Michael Thomas.

1.06 Dynasty of Sadness

Their need at RB having been sated for another year, Sadness make a less than ideal pick, in the New York Giants’ Sterling Shepherd. With OBJ already on the roster, a trade for the 1.05 with the Champions might make sense here.

1.07 Kelkowski Don’t Play By No Dyna Rules

Kelkowski are in a tight spot. It could be argued their need for receiver is greater, given the retirement of Megatron, but they go for their BPA in this position, Baltimore’s Kenneth Dixon.

1.08 Dyna Harder

With a surfeit of expensive RBs on the roster, Dyna Harder take Tyler Boyd. Pretty dull.

1.09 DynaForOne Firebirds

The Firebirds are delighted to scoop up Derrick Henry at this position.

1.10 Champions of the Sun

The Champions draft for value rather than need with this pick and select Devonte Booker, RB.

2.01 Dynasty of Sadness

The Sadness look carefully at their roster and enter risk mitigation mode – Will Fuller provides Jalen Strong insurance.

2.02 Dynasty of Sadness

Likewise, Matt Jones’ backup is selected here. Keith Marshall, RB.

2.03 East Flanders Dungeoneers

East Flanders put their fingers in their ears and hum loudly to drown out the sound of a small herd of running backs, and select Hunter Henry, TE.

2.04 Dynasore Losers

The Losers target the best RB still on the board, Paul Perkins.

2.05 DynaForOne Firebirds

Firebirds select the Oakland Raiders backup RB, and roll with DeAndre Washington.

2.06 Dynablaster Bombermen

Situation means he has slippped this far, but the Bombermen are delighted to snap up Leonte Caroo with their first pick.

2.07 Kelkowski Don’t Play By No Dyna Rules

If it’s good enough for Bill….Kelkowski go with the New England utility man, Malcolm Mitchell.

2.08 Dyna Harder

Dyna Harder select The Other Mike Thomas.

2.09 Tamworth Two

Tamworth Two blow the draft wide open and start the run on defensive players by selecting Myles Jack.

2.10 Dyna Harder

Dyna Harder ignore the incipient run on defensive players and build depth in the Chicago backfield. Jordan Howard, RB.

MAX’S STAT BLATS! Pre-Season Tim Preview

MAX’S STAT BLATS! Pre-Season Peter Preview

Guest Mock Draft by James ‘Goody’ Goodson of the Tamworth Two

Two-round Mock Draft

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