Tag: Max’s Stat Blats

Better late than never! Or maybe not. I’ll leave that up to you. In week 4 I took a look at every team’s offensive performance so far in 2016 and compared it to their 2015 performance to look for improvement and decline. This week I’ll be doing the same with the defense. To the stats!

	2016 Week 1-6 Average vs 2015 Average
	Dungeoneers	Brees	T2	Sadness	Losers	Champions	Firebirds	Kelkowski	Hard	Bombermen
DT/DE	-6.31	4.90	-8.94	1.80	-3.83	4.10	1.40	7.85	-5.02	-2.05
LB	-0.29	8.69	3.39	-3.05	7.57	-4.63	3.14	-6.71	-1.17	3.46
CB/S	4.13	2.63	3.08	-9.36	-3.03	-9.20	5.86	-3.58	7.45	-1.51
DEF	-2.46	16.22	-2.47	-10.61	0.71	-9.73	10.39	-2.44	1.26	-0.10

Defensive Line

Winners: Kelkowski are crushing it on the D-line this year! Nearly 8 points up on 2015! Look a bit deeper though and it has, perhaps, some of the qualities of a mirage. Firstly, JPP and friends are averaging 22.67 points per game, slightly above average for the D-line. It’s an improvement but it’s a movement from bottom of the pile to mid-table obscurity. Secondly, that average is propped up by a massive 63 points in week 3 when the ghost of Malik Jackson briefly turned up to spook Ebeneezer Kelkowski. Across the other 5 weeks they average 14.6 points, a number better only than Pete’s damp paper bag of a D-line. Despite losing Aaron Donald, the Brees are functioning better than last season too. Part of this is due to replacing the best DT in fantasy football with the second best in Fletcher Cox but Michael Bennett and Cameron Jordan are both solid producers too.

Losers: Oh T2, we knew thee well. After triumphing in the “underwhelming running back” stakes last time out, Goody and Mat show us that they can disappoint on both sides of the ball. Some of this decline is due to missing pieces (Gerald McCoy and Chandler Jones have been absent much or all of the year) but I think we see an impact of the scoring changes here. T2 hit big on Kawann Short and Gerald McCoy last season and DTs are probably the group to take the biggest hit from the downgrading of big plays. Both have scored very well but those 40 point games should be gone now for the most part. A lot of last year’s big DT scorers have done worse through the start of 2016. The Dungeoneers d-line is also down 6 points but I don’t think I can kick Pete anymore so let’s leave it at that.

Linebackers

Winners: There are two clear winners in this category, the Brees and the Losers. Both units were very poor last season so, like Kelkowski’s D-Line, this improvement puts them in the middle of the pack rather than raising them to the top of the charts. Slatz invested in the position in free agency and the draft with Paul Posluszny and Markus Golden delivering and Deion Jones and Leonard Floyd looking strong through the start of their rookie seasons. The Brees, meanwhile, seem to have gone for the “2015 Josh Norman” effect and just picked up a player from waivers having a monster season in Lorenzo Alexander. 51 of the 99 points they’ve scored at LB in the last three weeks have been from him. Improved play from Will Compton and Shaq Barrett is helping but to maintain this improvement they need Alexander to continue playing out of his skin.

Losers: What would Max Cubberley say if you asked him about the decline of his linebackers (4.5 points down on last season). He’d tell you that they’re still scoring more than anybody else’s linebackers so you can go fuck yourself. He’d probably also whinge on about injuries and players moving position but lets not give him a platform. Kelkowski’s overall defensive decline continues here with their linebackers regressing the most out of all the teams (6.7 points down on last season). Their situation is the reverse of the Losers’ and the Brees’. Kelkowski’s LBs were among the best in the business last season and this year they’re just… average. D’Qwell Jackson and Brandon Marshall are the main culprits here and Stephone Anthony’s reduced playing time at strong side LB for the Saints leaves them short a little bit of depth. Zach Orr is a good wire pickup though who should be able to compensate for that.

Defensive Backs

Winners: Yuk. Defensive back analysis. Well, Dyna Hard and the firebirds are both doing better this season than last. Rodney McLeod was a great pick-up for Chris and Aqib Talib’s 3 INTs so far this year certainly don’t hurt. Chris’ DBs are comfortably the highest scoring in the league so far this season and his main problem now is the potential for PLOBbage. With 43 cornerbacks to choose from on any given week, it’s no wonder that Neil is doing well but the PLOBbage is real here. Trying to predict S and (particularly) CB scoring week on week is far from easy and although Neil has done a good job it must be frustrating to look at your bench every week and see the road not taken.

Losers: The Sadness and the Champions both show an equal decline at the DB spot. For Cubberley the situation is similar to his LBs. Despite losing 9 points a game on 2015 the Champions still have the third highest scoring set of DBs in the league so this decline is as much a result of an outlying season of success as anything else. With Reshad Jones gone for the season now though Maxxxxxx will have to look deep into the waiver wire to try to maintain the pace. The Sadness, on the other hand, are, by nearly 6 points per game, the worst secondary in the Dbowl. Their decline is from mediocrity to abject failure. Looking at the scores of his players for the year to date though you wouldn’t think you were looking at a secondary so adrift from the rest of the field. To be honest, they’ve scored from disappointing to average every week rather than terribly and this slump is really a result of having no big weeks so far. A couple of INTs this week could see them pick up and return closer to the average. DBs, eh? It’s a funny old game.

Defence

Winners: Although his DB improvement is the best, Neil has improved across the board on defence this season, scoring over 10 points more than last year per game. At 86.20 points per game, his group is the best in the Dbowl at the moment but the week on week stats show a sharp decline. In weeks 1-3 the Birds averaged 108 points per game on D. In weeks 4-6 that number fell to 64 points per game. He’s had big pieces on bye in each of those weeks but it’s something to keep an eye on. If I was Neil I would be moving to address the obvious gap at DE in his roster. Maybe drop a CB or two to make ro… who am I kidding, he’s never going to drop any CBs. If you think improving by 10 points is impressive, though, look at the Brees! A 16 point increase! That takes them to averaging 76 points per game which is… wait… it’s bang average. Putting aside Pete’s crepe paper D (sorry Pete) the Brees were about that far adrift of everyone else last season. Really, it would have been more impressive to be so bad two seasons in a row.

Losers: Let’s just check in with Max Cubberley on what he thinks about his defence averaging 10 points fewer than last season. “Go fuck yourself!” Thought so. The Champions are still the second best scoring defence but last week was a low outing from them and this week’s lineup has a few too many waiver wire pickups for my liking. We’re not too far off a week where Cubberley starts 4 Texans’ linebackers and that can’t be good for anyone. The Sadness are the other team to have lost 10 points off their average. Most of that is their secondary, as discussed, though and there is some cause for optimism that those numbers could improve over the season. Despite Linval Joseph’s monster season so far the Sadness only show a 2 point improvement on the D-Line though and there is room for improvement here. Mangboob’s DEs are not inspiring and a little trade magic could really help him to improve those numbers and make a playoff push in Peter.

Overall

Winners: It will come as no surprise to anyone that the Bombermen are the big improvement on last season, averaging 24 points more per game than last season’s disappointing results. You’ll have seen that they were conspicuous by their absence in today’s report and, indeed, their defence is operating at a 0.1 loss on last year. All of this is offensive improvement and it looks like it has the legs to go all season. The Sadness are the other big improvement, nearly 15 points up on last year. This is despite giving 10 points away per game from their receivers and it shows the difference that a certified stud like Zeke Elliot can make.

Losers: Last season’s hot ticket, the Champions of the Sun, are back scrapping with everyone else this year, down 10 points on defence and 6 points on offence. Despite all of this they’re still scoring well but some thinness at RB and secondary is coming home to roost and they’re now in a position of relying on Trevor Siemian week on week for production. After them, Tamworth Two are having a ‘mare this season, giving away 8 points a game. LeSean McCoy is keeping their running game above water on his own and it’s really just the D-line and special teams (!) that account for the decline.

Weekly Stats

TABLES!

Don't Look Blat In Anger — Don’t Look Blat In Anger

Peter vs. Tim Watch

Week 1: Peter (average) 179.68 vs Tim (average) 192.14. Tim wins. 1-0 to Tim (victory margin 12.46)
Week 2: Peter (average) 184.04 vs Tim (average) 200.91. Tim wins. 2-0 to Tim (victory margin 16.87)
Week 3: Peter (average) 192.11 vs Tim (average) 212.54 Tim wins. 3-0 to Tim (victory margin 20.43)
Week 4: Peter (average) 175.27 vs Tim (average) 198.18 Tim wins. 4-0 to Tim (victory margin 22.91)
Week 5: Peter (average) 177.50 vs Tim (average) 176.66 PETER WINS. 4-1 to Tim (victory margin 0.84)
Week 6: Peter (average) 170.47 vs Tim (average) 174.70 Sanity is restored, Tim wins. 5-1 to Tim (victory margin 4.23)

Season to Date: Peter (average) 179.85 vs Tim (average) 192.52. Tim leads (margin 12.68)

MAX’S STAT BLATS! Pre-Season Peter Preview

August 25, 2016

Max Cubberley

Max Stat Blats Previews No Comments

It’s nearly time for the new season of football and so it’s time to let the Stat Blats get all up in yo’ bidness and make you feel tingly. Below is a combination 2015 season review and 2016 season preview for each team in Peter. Want to know where the Sadness’ QBs ranked last season? This is your place. Want to know my opinion on whether the Breeses have improved their woeful linebacker corps? Come on in friend!

Tamworth Two

OFFENCE/SPECIAL TEAMS

106.3 points per game (ppg), 5^th best in league

QB 18.52 ppg, 6^thRB 32.21 ppg, 4^thWR/TE 43.22 ppg, 8^thSPEC 12.35 ppg, 9^th

Looking at the stats it’s clear that sub-par offensive performance was the thing that kept T2 from challenging more closely in the Owl. When you pay Aaron Rodgers the big bucks you expect better than run-of-the-mill QB numbers but that’s what he put up last season. There were mitigating factors though and, despite the fact he’s on another roster, they must have their fingers crossed hoping Jordy Nelson will be back in form this season.

RB was the Hogs’ strongest position last season riding the unexpected highs of Chris Ivory and Darren McFadden. Run DMC is down the Cowboys depth chart now though and Chris Ivory is gone, leaving T2 looking sparse. Jonathan Stewart is still pootling along and they have the Buffalo backfield sewn up tight but Duke Johnson is not someone I would want to be relying on for my third RB position.

Injuries to Alshon Jeffery and DeVante Parker hit Tamworth hard at WR last season and their 8^th placed finish will be some way off what they’d have been hoping for at season start. The bad news is that I don’t see where it’s improved. Jarvis Landry, their WR1, is gone, DeVante Parker is, by all accounts, running hot and cold in camp and Demayrius Thomas will be catching balls from the Sanchize. At TE there is hope for Eric Ebron and Virgil Green but neither are a sure thing for regular production.

Trending down

DEFENCE

82.23 ppg, 3^rd best in league

DL 33.02 ppg, 1^st
LB 25.83 ppg, 6^th
DB 23.38 ppg, 7^th

So if your offence isn’t great then how do you get to the final of the Owl? Great defence. Defence wins Owls. The Hogs’ had a dominant line led by Kawann Short and Gerald McCoy, two of the best fantasy DTs in the business. They’ve lost their best DE, Chandler Jones, to a position switch though and will be relying on the promising Stephon Tuitt and rookie Chris Jones to pick up the slack, a big ask.

The Hogs’ LB corps was a sea of pregnant potential and mediocrity, lifted by the transcendent talents of Luke Kuechly and the hard graft of Paul Posluszny. The Pos has jumped ship for the coming season but the unexpectedly solid Whitney Mercilus should still produce and Jeremiah Attaouchu is poised to break it big. Add to that the fact that the D-Line’s loss is the ‘Backer corps’ gain when it comes to Chandler Jones and things should keep ticking along nicely.

The Hogs were let down in the secondary by a poor showing from their safeties. Kam Chancellor being motivated for a whole season may help but David Amerson will lose snaps at CB to Sean Smith in Oakland so there is a question mark about his ability to repeat last season’s good showing.

Steady

OVERALL

188.52 ppg, 4^th best in league

The Hogs should see performance drop from last season. The defence will still be there or thereabouts but the offence has taken a hit in the loss of Landry and Ivory. If Aaron Rodgers can play like he’s paid he may make up for it.

Prediction: 6-7, 3^rd in Peter

East Flanders Dungeoneers

OFFENCE/SPECIAL TEAMS

104.17 ppg, 6^th best in league

QB 20.97 ppg, 2^nd RB 26.22 ppg, 7^thWR/TE 44.24 ppg, 6^thSPEC 12.74 ppg, 8^th

Being definitively the worst team on the Dbowl last season means it makes for slightly surprising reading to see that the Dungeoneers were middle of the pack in offensive terms. Cam Newton’s rise to superstardom helped buoy the numbers no doubt, racking up the record highest weekly score for a QB in the process, and he should continue to raise his team for the coming season.

The RBs were a mess in East Flanders last year with Justin Forsett and Carlos Hyde both missing considerable time and forcing Pete Conaghan to rely on the likes of Ronnie Hillman and Darren Sproles. Danny Woodhead was a consistently good performer though who at least made sure to keep Conaghan’s men from complete ignominy week on week. The Dungeoneers have re-signed Rashad Jennings on a good deal and brought in T2 reject Chris Ivory to strengthen this season but will still rely on Woodhead for production. A fit season from Carlos Hyde could make a huge difference however.

Amari Cooper, Brandon Marshall and Michael Floyd all put in good showings last season but a lack of depth behind those big names and a horror show at TE kept the Dungeoneers from putting up consistent good scores at receiver. Things are looking much better this year. Those three are all still in the fold and have been joined by a fully fit Kevin White and Keenan Allen plus rookie Josh Doctson. The TEs are no better in terms of personnel but Coby Fleener escaping from Indianapolis to New Orleans hikes his ceiling way up.

Trending up

DEFENCE

63.80 ppg, 9^th best in league

DL 15.64 ppg, 8^th
LB 27.37 ppg, 5^th
DB 20.79 ppg, 10^th

If the Dungeoneers offence were surprisingly good for the worst team in the league then that can only mean one thing for the defence. Look away now, Pete, it’s not pretty! Tyrone Crawford was the star on the defensive line last year, turning in a top 10 performance. There is absolutely no depth behind him however though if Sen’Derrick Marks can stay fit and work into the Jacksonville rotation significantly he offers some hope. Kony Ealy flashed his talent last season too and Conaghan will be hoping that the Panthers’ DE can step up to the next level this season.

When you’re only paying two of your LBs more than $3 and one of those two is Paul Worrilow your expectations for the unit are probably reduced. Pete can be quite happy then with his middle-of-the-pack placing. Astute signings of tackle machines Melvin Ingram and Malcolm Smith brought a good floor to the team and the likes of KJ Wright and Worrilow produced steady if uninspiring numbers. The Dungeoneers’ prospects of improvement have been hindered by Shaq Lawson’s injury but the Justin-Houston-shaped hole in Kansas may open the door for Dee Ford and Vontaze Burfict’s suspension may put Paul Dawson in the mix.

What do you do when you have the worst secondary in the league and the top-scoring player in that secondary retires? Nothing! Apparently! That’s not fair, Pete signed rookie safety Karl Joseph. I’m sure he’ll be a good player down the line but expecting him to replicate Charles Woodson’s numbers in year one is probably asking a bit much. The Dungeoneers are relying on the fickle nature of the secondary to provide a better result.

Steady

OVERALL

167.97 ppg, 10^th best in league

I don’t think the Dungeoneers will finish the season as the worst team in the league again; the offence has the potential to put up top 3 numbers under the right circumstances. Unfortunately, the defence is still a hot mess and will drag the team down.

Prediction: 5-8, 4^th in Peter

The People’s Republic of the 4^th Dynmension: Dynasty of Sadness

OFFENCE/SPECIAL TEAMS

102.06 ppg, 8^th best in league

QB 14.98 ppg, 10^th RB 19.74 ppg, 10^thWR/TE 54.46 ppg, 2^ndSPEC 12.88 ppg, 6^th

Well, if you’re not sure what an unbalanced offence looks like then there you go. The problems at the QB position for the Sadness were largely self-inflicted as Mangboob’s love for Teddy Tinyhands prevented him from just starting Drew Brees in every game he was available for. Brees averaged 20.28 points per game, a full 5 more than the Sadness did. Even if you add in the fact that Teddy averaged 11.5 points in the two weeks Brees missed that is a clear case of overthinking it. Mangboob should not make the same mistake this year.

Unfortunately, the Sadness’ struggles at RB cannot be blamed on GM tinkering. It turns out that owning the entire Lions’ backfield is not conducive to fantasy success. Eddy Lacy’s plummet off a cliff accounts for some of the underperformance here and Mangboob has lost patience with the player, shipping him out to the Firebirds. He has been replaced by number 1 draft pick Ezekiel Elliott, one of the most hyped fantasy rookie prospects of all time. Zeke and fellow rookie Kenneth Dixon add some spark to the position and Abdullah and Matt Jones could improve in their second years. This is a young unit on a young team and should get better year-on-year.

In contrast, the Sadness’ receivers were stellar. Led by superstar OBJ, even a down season for Dez Bryant couldn’t stop them marching to 2^nd place on the receiver rankings. Eric Decker, Delanie Walker, Golden Tate and, surprisingly, Ted Ginn Jr turned in performance after performance over the season to keep scores high. This season it’s all change with Dez, Tate and Decker gone but Stefon Diggs, Laquon Treadwell, Michael Thomas and DeSean Jackson come in. Mangboob is building for the future and while I would expect to see this unit decline this season they look strong for the future and improvement elsewhere should more than make up for it.

Steady

DEFENCE

77.18 ppg, 6^th best in league

DL 14.66 ppg, 10^th
LB 33.62 ppg, 3^rd
DB 28.90 ppg, 5^th

The defensive line is the real Achilles heel for a defence that is otherwise strong. Mangboob has three players there and they are all nearly men. Michael Brockers is a very good player but with the strength on that Rams’ line his play doesn’t equate to fantasy points. Linval Joseph and Sharif Floyd are both similarly good players but Tom Johnson’s pass rush exploits on the interior limit their upside. All are young and Joseph missed a few games with injury so Mangboob can hope for an improvement. He’ll have to, because he has brought in no extra help for his tackles. The viewing is even more bleak at Defensive End where no player scored over 80 points. Sheldon Richardson is a talented idiot but the others are just not elite players. The drafting of Robert Nkemdiche may help but he enters a crowded situation in Arizona and we will likely not see him emerge until at least 2017.

The linebackers at the Sadness, by contrast, are elite and dominant. Lavonte David, Telvin Smith and Bobby Wagner are all top level talents on the field and on your fantasy teams and are young enough to provide for a few years yet. Behind them, Danny Trevathan, Mychal Kendricks and Bruce Irvin feel like players on the cusp of a fantasy boom and with Trevathan and Irvin in new teams this season this year could be the year.

The secondary is a similar situation to T2’s linebackers: an average group of players propelled upwards by one stellar talent. Tyrann Mathieu scored twice as much as most other members of the Sadness’ secondary last season and the rest were much of a muchness. Sean Smith comes in this year and Eric Berry is re-signed to a better contract but question marks of Tyrann Mathieu’s health mean that last season’s performance probably remains the ceiling for this bunch.

Steady

OVERALL

179.23 ppg, 6^th best in league

I don’t think this season will see much change for the Sadness. They have lost elite level talent at WR but added a lot of young players and have a deeper pool of players to pick from. A lot is riding on Zeke Elliott’s shoulders as far as this season is concerned. If Mangboob decides to start Teddy Bridgewater all season long then all bets are off.

Prediction: 5-8, 5^th in Peter

Dynasore Losers

OFFENCE/SPECIAL TEAMS

99.75 ppg, 10^th best in league

QB 16.56 ppg, 8^th RB 28.83 ppg, 6^th
WR/TE 39.87 ppg, 10^thSPEC 14.49 ppg, 2^nd

Hoo boy, it’s difficult to know where to start with this one. The Losers’ WRs were a horror show last year. Jordy Nelson injured, Josh Gordon failing to get reinstated, Emmanuel Sanders feeling the bite of the Peter-collapse, Torrey Smith left hopping mad by Colin Kaepernick and Nelson Agholor leaving everyone wondering what Chip Kelly deemed worth the 20^th overall pick about him. Add to that a wasteland at TE and it’s easy to see how this unit came out bottom in points scoring per game. That kind of luck should regress back towards the mean this year and almost every player at this position should be better in 2016. The loss of Larry Fitzgerald is a blow to the weekly floor of the group but Jarvis Landry, the Losers’ big blockbuster summer trade, covers that and more. The Losers are a candidate to go from worst to first at WR in 2016.

A shallow group at RB left a lot on the shoulders of Adrian Peterson and Matt Forte and it was enough to struggle to mid-table in the RB rankings. David Slater is relying heavily on rookies Jordan Howard and DeAndre Washington to provide depth for the coming season though. Dion Lewis is already out, surgery required on his knee, and AP and Forte are getting no younger. This situation could get very unpleasant, very fast.

If that happens, Slater may look to trade in some of his excess talent at QB. The group performed poorly last season with Peter Manning’s decline the headline event but this season should be vastly improved. Andy Dalton is healthy, Jameis Winston is no longer a rookie and Derek Carr is heading into his 3^rd year heading an offence going from strength to strength. Add to that the free agency addition of Carson Palmer and this is a strong group that should be able to comfortably mix and match each week for the best matchups.

Trending up

DEFENCE

75.93 ppg, 7^th best in league

DL 23.33 ppg, 5^th
LB 20.27 ppg, 9^th
DB 32.34 ppg, 3^rd

A much-reduced year from Ryan Kerrigan was still the highlight of the LBs at the Losers last year as he was the only player to top 100 points. David Slater put a lot of work into fixing the offence but this was another place that the Losers were giving points away on a weekly basis. The free-agency addition of Paul Posluszny, plus the drafting of three rookie LBs shows that Slater recognised this fact and has moved to address it. The group is still raw and has a lot of question marks but is an improvement over last season, albeit only a small one for this year.

A middle of the pack defensive line remains largely unchanged. Carlos Dunlap was re-signed to resume a powerful starting tandem at DE but if one goes down then much will depend on 2^nd year rusher Danielle Hunter of the Vikings. Hunter looked excellent in limited snaps in his rookie year and Slater will hope that he can maintain that form into more snaps.

The strongest unit on the Losers’ defence remains largely intact though whether Marcus Peters can perform at the same level in year 2 is questionable. Some regression to the mean is to be expected (players are rarely consistently at the top of the CB rankings) but the brothers Johnson (Kevin and Trumaine) and Logan Ryan should be able to offer plentiful depth. At safety Slater will grind his teeth as he hopes for Michael Mitchell of the Steelers to remain steady and clasp his hands in prayer that Tashaun Gipson can recapture his 2014 Cleveland form in Jacksonville.

Steady

OVERALL

175.69 ppg, 8^th best in league

Unless the Losers are struck by catastrophic bad luck again this year they should perform better. The QB and receiver units can hopefully carry the RBs on offence and an improvement from 9^th to 7^th or so in the LBs would be enough to see the defence able to support. I expect an improved year but not an Owl year.

Prediction: 7-6, 1^st in Peter

Here Comes The Brees

OFFENCE/SPECIAL TEAMS

111.22 ppg, 3^rd best in league

QB 20.20 ppg, 3^rd RB 38.24 ppg, 1^st WR/TE 39.98 ppg, 9^thSPEC 12.81 ppg, 7^th

If I’d asked at the start of last season which Dbowl team had the best RBs in the league would you have said the Breeses? Come on now, don’t lie. Doug Martin’s renaissance, Devonta Freeman’s explosion and a combination of Lamar Miller and (really) Isaiah Crowell left the team top of the pile. All four of those players are back this year with the added depth of Charles Sims, Darren Sproles and a healthy Tevin Coleman. The Breeses are set up nicely to repeat in 2016 and perhaps even improve though a predicted decline for Freeman and Martin after their monster seasons could throw a spanner in the works.

It’s a good job Archer and Sayles’ RBs were such a surprise smash hit because the receivers were a disaster. Injuries for Steve Smith, Breshad Perriman and DeSean Jackson left the team scrambling to field a decent unit and there were too many weeks of Pierre Garcon and Terrance Williams for anything to be salvageable. Tyler Eifert was a ray of hope at TE, particularly with Zach Ertz providing depth. The Breeses have gone all out this summer to rectify what is their problem position on offence with a host of bodies run through camp. The big arrival was Martavis Bryant, right at the tail end of last season, but a year-long suspension buried that. The new big arrival was Allen Robinson who has, incredibly, yet to get suspended or go on injured reserve for the entire season. Larry Fitzgerald and Jaelen Strong also arrived and even with the departure of DeSean Jackson the unit looks better. Phillip Dorsett comes into his 2^nd year with a path clear to a starting job, Travis Benjamin lands in a friendly spot in San Diego and JJ Nelson is pushing in Arizona.

Even with Andrew Luck’s injury, the Breeses managed to get good QB production, largely thanks to Tom Brady with occasional spells of Fitzmagic. Luck is fit this season, Brady is back (albeit suspended for the first 4 games) and Alex Smith is ready to step in in an emergency. This unit should be top end producer again.

Trending up

DEFENCE

60.20 ppg, 10^th best in league

DL 19.02 ppg, 7^th
LB 18.39 ppg, 10^th
DB 22.79 ppg, 8^th

Well, that is ugly reading. There were very few bright spots for the Breeses on defence after they traded away Aaron Donald. Fletcher Cox had a breakout season at DE but the Breeses got unlucky mixing and matching between him, Cameron Jordan and Michael Bennett and too often the big points were on the bench. For the new season though Fletcher Cox has moved to DT, solving that problem. The Breeses should not PLOB themselves out of his points any longer. Not least because, at time of writing, they have no other DTs on the roster. Jordan and Bennett are still in place at DE, backed up by Jaye Howard and new boy DeForest Buckner. I think we should see this unit move into the top half in the league but if Cox goes down there is (literally) nothing to cover for him.

Sheesh, if you thought the DL reading was bad, take a look at this shower. In week 10 last season, the Breeses started Karlos Dansby, Daryl Smith, Jelani Jenkins and Derrick Morgan. Not a collection to inspire fear in the opposition. I’m not convinced this unit looks any better going into 2016. Dansby and Pernell McPhee are good starters but 2^nd year guys Shaq Thompson and Jordan Hicks are going to have to step up if there is to be any improvement. It’s still a fairly uninspiring bunch.

At DB the Breeses suffered a blow when they lost Harrison Smith for the year but they got a nice surprise in the performance of DROY Ronald Darby who put up a nice tally. There’s little to see here beyond that. Earl Thomas is an amazing real-life safety and an average fantasy one and the rest of the unit were all much of a muchness. This season the CBs are the same but the Ss get a little influx with the drafting of Von Bell and the signing of Barry Church but the inexplicable decision to drop Harrison Smith (the #1 safety in 2014) means that I can’t say this unit has improved.

Steady

OVERALL

171.42 ppg, 9^th best in league

It’s easy to see that the Breeses have improved on offence. A lot of their guys are starting the season healthier, more experienced or in better situations than last year and strength has been added, particularly to the wide receivers. I can still see them being hampered by a defence, however, which seems to take a step back for every step it takes forward. It won’t be the worst in the league again, but it will be a long way from the best.

Prediction: 7-6, 2^nd in Peter

MAX’S STAT BLATS! – Week Seven

October 27, 2015

Max Cubberley

League Business Max Stat Blats Stat Attacks No Comments

In last week’s Stat Blat, whilst looking at the Dynablaster Bombermen, I noted that their defensive line had been an area of weakness but something they’d addressed already with the trade for Aaron Donald. Well, this week the Dynablaster Bombermen’s defensive line scored 75.5 points on their own. That got me wondering about the highest and lowest performances from each positional group through both seasons so far. Was 75.5 a record high for a defensive line? Surely it must be! Read on to find out.

Note: Week 17 of the 2014 season was not included when collating these results.

Highest:

1	Firebirds	37.12	S1 W7	Rusty Wilson
2	Tamworth Two	36.6	S1 W10	Aaron Rodgers
3	Firebirds	36.36	S1 W16	Rusty Wilson
4	Tamworth Two	34.92	S2 W3	Aaron Rodgers
5	Firebirds	34.24	S1 W5	Rusty Wilson

The running here are obviously dominated by God’s chosen QB (Wilson) and the Arm of the Doubtful (Rodgers). It’s a classic battle between good and evil.

Lowest:

1	Sadness	0.00	S1 W1	“Fuck You” Cam Newton
2	Breeses	0.36	S1 W16	Andrew Luck
3	Dungeoneers	1.84	S2 W5	Nick “Cunt” Foles
4	Sadness	2.62	S1 W6	Teddy Bridgewater
5	Losers	2.72	S1 W14	Peter Manning

Fun fact: In week 14 of season 1, David left Andy Dalton (26.28 points), Joe Flacco (24.36 points) and Derek Carr (22.36 points) on the bench in favour of Peter (2.72 points). Now, kids, that is how you PLOB yourself right up. For those of you wondering, Andrew Luck did not leave that game injured. He threw for just over 100 yards with 0 TDs and 2 interceptions. Impressive stuff.

Highest

1	Breeses	74.2	S2 W5	Isaiah Crowell, Devonta Freeman, Doug Martin
2	Breeses	65.6	S2 W7	Devonta Freeman, Doug Martin, Lamar Miller
3	Firebirds	61.8	S1 W16	CJ Anderson, Jeremy Hill, Marshawn Lynch
4	Tamworth Two	61.6	S2 W6	Chris Ivory, LeSean McCoy, Jonathan Stewart
5	Champions	61.4	S1 W14	Le’veon Bell, Isaiah Crowell, Latavius Murray

Come on, who saw that coming at the start of the year? Who also saw Isaiah Crowell and Doug Martin each appearing in 2 of the 5 best RB performances of the Dynabowl so far…

Lowest

1	Dungeoneers	5.625	S1 W9	LaGarette Blount, Branden Oliver
2	Firebirds	7.3	S1 W6	Chris Johnson, Marshawn Lynch
3	Breeses	8.2	S2 W3	Isaiah Crowell, Doug Martin
4	Champions	8.3	S2 W1	Latavius Murray, Damien Williams
5	Firebirds	8.4	S1 W8	Chris Johnson, Marshawn Lynch

Crowell, Martin, Latavius Murray and Marshawn Lynch have the distinction of being in both the best and the worst RB groups. If I was better at this I’d probably give you some analysis right now. Here’s what I got: blah blah blah analysis blah blah best-selling book Fantasy Life blah blah analysis blah state-the-obvious.

WR/TE

Highest:

1	Kelkowski	109	S1 W1	Randall Cobb, Calvin Johnson, Jeremy Maclin, Cor!Darelle Patterson, Jordan Cameron, Julius Thomas
2	Losers	93.3	S1 W10	Larry Fitzgerald, Jordy Nelson, Emmanuel Sanders, Torrey Smith, Larry Donnell, Jimmy Graham
3	Kelkowski	91.5	S1 W2	Randall Cobb, Calvin Johnson, Jeremy Maclin, Cor!Darelle Patterson, Julius Thomas, Delanie Walker
4	Firebirds	91	S1 W8	TY Hilton, Julio Jones, Eddie Royal, Demaryius Thomas, Antonio Gates, Rob Gronkowski
5	Firebirds	89.7	S1 W6	TY Hilton, Julio Jones, Mohammed Sanu, Demaryius Thomas, Antonio Gates, Rob Gronkowski

We still love you Cor! Darelle! The passing game has never been better than those heady days of the first weeks of the Dynabowl. What a glorious time that was! It just goes to show, it’s a running league.

Lowest:

1	Breeses	12.1	S2 W1	DeSean Jackson, Charles Johnson, Steve Smith Sr., Terrance Williams, Owen Daniels
2	Dungeoneers	14.25	S1 W14	Keenan Allen, Andre Johnson, Brandon Marshall, Kenny Stills, Kyle Rudolph, Jason Witten
3	Breeses	14.4	S1 W9	Dwayne Bowe, Pierre Garcon, Andrew Hawkins, Steve Smith Sr., Zach Ertz
4	DynaHarder	17	S1 W12	Kenny Britt, Julian Edelman, Cecil Shorts III, Sammy Watkins, Jace Amaro
5	Dungeoneers	18.1	S2 W5	Keenan Allen, Amari Cooper, Michael Floyd, Reuben Randle, Coby Fleener

Tough reading for fans of the Brees and the Dungeoneers. Probably not surprising reading though.

SPEC

Highest:

1	Dungeoneers	23.6	S2 W4	Cairo Santos, Andy Lee
2	Sadness	22.725	S1 W9	Adam Vinatieri, Shane Lechler
3	DynaHarder	21.3	S1 W11	Mason Crosby, Marquette King
4	Breeses	21.2	S1 W10	Matt Bryant, Brett Kern
5	Dungeoneers	20.475	S1 W12	Cody Parkey, Mike Scifres

Lowest:

1	Dungeoneers	1.65	S1 W14	Cody Parkey, Mike Scifres
2	Dungeoneers	3	S1 W4	Cody Parkey, Pat O’Donnell
3	Losers	3.3	S1 W16	Justin Tucker, Donnie Jones
4	Champions	3.95	S1 W6	Shaun Suisham, Brad Nortman
5	Firebirds	4	S1 W8	Dan Bailey, Tim Masthay

The Dungeoneers showing that famed consistency hear by having two of the best scoring special teams units and two of the worst. I like that Parkey and Scifres put up over 20 points in week 12 and then under 2 in week 14. Absolute gangbusters.

Highest:

1	Bombermen	75.5	S2 W7	Aaron Donald, Haloti Ngata, Cameron Wake, Mario Williams
2	Breeses	69.5	S1 W10	Marcell Dareus, Aaron Donald, Michael Bennett, Cameron Jordan
3	Kelkowski	58.75	S1 W7	Nick Fairley, Everson Griffen, DeMarcus Ware
4	DynaHarder	55.35	S1 W13	Jonathan Hankins, Ezekiel Ansah, JJ Watt
5	Champions	50.5	S1 W8	Tom Johnson, Robert Quinn, Cameron Wake

Well, there’s the answer to your question. Yes, the Bombermen’s score on the line this week was the highest ever. By a comfortable margin too. The players on that top 5 read very much like a who’s who of defensive line talent, it’s not difficult to see why these guys scored like they did. Plus Tom Johnson’s there too. Good old Tom Johnson. Who’s Tom Johnson?

Lowest:

1	Dungeoneers	1.25	S2 W3	Tyrone Crawford, Demarcus Lawrence, Stephen Paea
2=	Sadness	1.5	S2 W1	Sharrif Floyd, Damontre Moore, Devin Taylor
2=	Sadness	1.5	S1 W1	Michael Brockers, Jared Allen, Calais Campbell
4	Champions	1.75	S1 W4	Steve McClendon, Mike Daniels, Cameron Wake
5	Bombermen	2.5	S2 W1	Kyle Williams, Cameron Wake, Mario Williams

A round of applause for the Dynasty of Sadness in managed to fashion a tie for 2^nd place in the worst D-line performances of all time. Mike and Mark certainly know how to get their defence off to a strong start to the year. Looking at the players in these units it’s very noticeable that one of these is not like the other. 2.5 points for the Williams twins and Cameron Wake would have been unthinkable last season.

Highest:

1	Champions	63.25	S1 W8	Anthony Barr, Jamie Collins, Justin Houston, Wesley Woodyard
2	DynaHarder	57.55	S1 W5	Von Miller, CJ Mosley, Alec Ogletree, Jason Worilds
3	Kelkowski	55.8	S2 W6	Stephone Anthony, Karlos Dansby, D’Qwell Jackson, Brandon Marshall
4	Champions	55.5	S2 W6	Anthony Barr, Shaq Barrett, Jamie Collins, Justin Houston
5	Champions	53.95	S1 W4	Anthony Barr, Justin Houston, Khalil Mack, Wesley Woodyard

It’s like no-one believed me when I said linebacker was the most important fantasy position.

Lowest:

1	Losers	1.25	S2 W3	Ryan Kerrigan, Paul Kruger, Alex Okafor
2	Bombermen	3.5	S2 W7	Connor Barwin, Elvis Dumervil, Sean Lee
3	Firebirds	5	S1 W4	Mason Foster, Julius Peppers, Lawrence Timmons
4	Firebirds	5.75	S1 W3	Mason Foster, Manti Te’o, Lawrence Timmons
5	Dungeoneers	6.25	S1 W8	Connor Barwin, Dwight Freeney, KJ Wright

I seriously don’t know who Mason Foster is. If this week’s Stat Blat has made me realise anything it’s quite how bad Neil’s team was at the start of last season. What a tremendous rags to riches story his Dynabowl triumph was. Someone should film that. With Paul Giamatti playing Neil.

Highest:

1	Bombermen	76.45	S1 W10	Casey Hayward, Bradley Roby, Ha-Ha Clinton-Dix, James Ihedigbo
2	Bombermen	73.2	S2 W4	Stephon Gilmore, Bradley Roby, Corey Graham, TJ Ward
3	Sadness	59.75	S2 W3	William Gay, Jerraud Powers, Eric Berry, Tyrann Mathieu
4	Kelkowski	58	S2 W3	Janoris Jenkins, Jimmy Smith, Mike Adams, Malcolm Jenkins
5	Kelkowski	57.55	S1 W13	Janoris Jenkins, Devin McCourty, Mike Adams, Rashad Johnson

The fact that the Bombermen and Kelkowski each have 2 entries here somewhat belies my theory that DB scoring is entirely random. Note that the presence of more season 2 scores in this entry than others is likely influenced by the point increased for Defended Passes this season.

Lowest:

1	DynaHarder	3.75	S1 W7	Patrick Peterson, Sam Shields, Deone Bucannon, Jonathan Cyprien
2	Sadness	4.5	S1 W10	Travis Carrie, Kyle Fuller, Eric Berry, Tyrann Mathieu
3	Dungeoneers	5	S1 W11	Vontae Davis, Chris Harris, George Iloka, Rahim Moore
4=	Losers	6	S1 W4	Darius Butler, Logan Ryan, Chris Conte, Glover Quin
4=	DynaHarder	6	S1 W13	Antoine Cason, Patrick Peterson, Micah Hyde, Eric Reid

I can’t help but think that at least three of those entries would make pretty good real-life secondaries. That’s fantasy football for you, I guess.

OFF

Highest:

1	Losers	177.205	S1 W4
2	Kelkowski	165.36	S1 W8
3	Firebirds	164.34	S1 W5
4	Losers	164.21	S2 W2
5	Firebirds	161.62	S1 W14

Lowest:

1	Dungeoneers	52.7	S1 W14
2	Sadness	54.97	S1 W11
3	Breeses	58.345	S2 W1
4	Bombermen	62.19	S2 W7
5	Dungeoneers	64.965	S2 W5

DEF

Highest:

1	Kelkowski	143.6	S1 W13
2	Tamworth Two	142.05	S2 W6
3	Bombermen	130.95	S1 W10
4	Champions	129.25	S1 W8
5	Firebirds	126.55	S1 W16

Lowest:

1	Firebirds	26.75	S1 W1
2	Tamworth Two	27	S1 W16
3	Dungeoneers	32.25	S1 W11
4	Sadness	35	S1 W10
5	Kelkowski	36.5	S1 W14

MAX’S STAT BLATS! Week 6

October 25, 2015

Max Cubberley

League Business Max Stat Blats Stat Attacks No Comments

It’s the start of week 7 of the 2015 NFL season which is, near as dammit, halfway through the fantasy NFL season so, this week, Stat Blats will look at positional groupings in the DynaBowl to breakdown which parts of your team are riding high and which are down in the dumps. I’ll start with the raw data, then do a team-by-team breakdown, looking at the season so far with some slipshod analysis. You’re welcome. You’re all so very welcome.

Quarterback

	Team	Starters	Average
1	Tamworth Two	Rodgers, Palmer	21.76
2	Dynaforone Firebirds	Wilson, Rivers	18.28
3	DynaHarder	E. Manning, Mariota, Stafford	18.03
4	Champions of the Sun	Roethlisberger, Palmer	17.57
5	Kelkowski	Bortles, Kaepernick, Romo	17.43
6	Here Comes the Brees	Brady, Luck	16.77
7	East Flanders Dungeoneers	Newton, Tannehill, Foles	16.61
8	Dynablaster Bombermen	Ryan	16.21
9	Dynasore Losers	Dalton, P. Manning	15.32
10	Dynasty of Sadness	Brees, Bridgewater	11.80

Running Backs

For sections under flex consideration I have worked out the average number of starters in each position over the first 6 weeks and divided the average by that number. This produces an average score per player you start at that position, not favouring teams that start more players in one position.

1	Dynasore Losers	Forte, Peterson, Lewis (3 starters (2.5 av))	34.27 (13.71)
2	Here Comes the Brees	Freeman, Martin, Crowell, Miller (4 starters (2.83 av))	37.05 (13.09)
3	Champions of the Sun	L. Bell, L. Murray, Rawls, Da. Williams, Spiller (5 starters (2.17 av)	24.95 (11.5)
4	Tamworth Two	Ivory, Du. Johnson, McCoy, McFadden, Stewart, K. Williams, A. Williams (7 starters (3 av))	32.30 (10.77)
5	Kelkowski	Blue, Foster, Ingram, D. Murray, Yeldon (5 starters (3 av))	31.72 (10.57)
6	DynaHarder	Charles, Morris, Randle, Sankey, Gurley (5 starters (3 av))	31.11 (10.37)
7	East Flanders Dungeoneers	Forsett, Woodhead, Hyde, Jennings (4 starters (3 av))	28.05 (9.35)
8	Dynasty of Sadness	Abdullah, Blount, M. Jones, Lacy, Vereen, De. Williams (6 starters (3 av))	26.73 (8.91)
9	Dynablaster Bombermen	Bernard, Ellington, Gordon, J. Hill, Da. Johnson (5 starters (3 av))	25.96 (8.65)
10	Dynaforone Firebirds	Anderson, Gore, C. Johnson, Lynch (4 starters (2.83 av))	19.38 (6.85)

Receivers (WRs and TEs)

1	Dynaforone Firebirds	Colston, Edelman, Ju. Jones, Royal, Thomas, Bennett, Clay, Gates, Gronkowski (9 starters (5.17 av))	60.84 (11.77)
2	Dynasore Losers	Agholor, Fitzgerald, Ja. Jones, Moncrief, Sanders, T. Smith, Donnell, Graham (8 starters (5.5 av))	57.15 (10.39)
3	Kelkowski	Baldwin, Cobb, Ca. Johnson, Maclin, Barnidge, Witten (6 starters (5 av))	48.38 (9.68)
4	Champions of the Sun	J. Brown, Evans, Hankerson, Harvin, Hopkins, Robinson, White, Kelce, Reed, Walker (10 starters (5.83 av))	54.45 (9.34)
5	Dynablaster Bombermen	Boldin, Cooks, A. Green, A. Johnson, Matthews, Shorts, Olsen, Sefarian-Jenkins (8 starters (5 av))	44.47 (8.89)
6	Dynasty of Sadness	Beckham, D. Bryant, Crowder, Decker, Ginn, Tate, Wheaton, Allen, Chandler, Escobar, L. Green (11 starters (5 av))	41.71 (8.34)
7	East Flanders Dungeoneers	Adams, Allen, Cooper, Mi. Floyd, S. Johnson, Marshall, Randle, Stills, Fleener, Rudolph (10 starters (5 av))	41.17 (8.23)
8	DynaHarder	Austin, A. Brown, Hilton, Hurns, M. Jones, Watkins, Wright, Bennett, Cook (9 starters (5 av))	40.33 (8.07)
9	Tamworth Two	Coleman, Crabtree, V. Jackson, Jeffery, Landry, Snead, Wallace, Ebron, Rodgers (9 starters (5 av))	39.48 (7.90)
10	Here Comes the Brees	Benjamin, Garcon, D. Jackson, Ch. Johnson, S. Smith Sr., T. Williams, Daniels, Eifert, Ertz (9 starters (5.17 av))	39.00 (7.54)

Special Teams

1	Dynasore Losers	Gostkowski, Tucker, Anger, King	16.86 (8.43)
2	DynaHarder	Bryant, McManus, Hekker, Pinion	15.30 (7.65)
3	Dynablaster Bombermen	Brown, Schmidt	14.58 (7.29)
4	Champions of the Sun	Catanzaro, McAfee, D. Colquitt	13.48 (6.74)
5	East Flanders Dungeoneers	Parkey, Santos, Lee	12.56 (6.28)
6	Dynaforone Firebirds	Crosby, Koch	12.51 (6.26)
7	Dynasty of Sadness	Hauschka, Vinatieri, Lechler	11.91 (5.96)
8	Here Comes the Brees	Gano, Jones, Kern	10.91 (5.46)
9	Tamworth Two	Carpenter, Coons, Butler, McAfee	10.42 (5.21)
10	Kelkowski	Prater, Gould, Huber, Martin	9.53 (4.77)

Defensive Line

1	Tamworth Two	McCoy, McDonald, Short, C. Jones, Tuitt, Vernon (3.33 av)	29.67 (8.91)
2	Here Comes the Brees	Donald, Howard, Bennett, Cox, Jordan (3.17 av)	27.88 (8.79)
3	DynaHarder	Hankins, Harrison, B. Williams, Ansah, Watt (3.17 av)	26.58 (8.38)
4	Champions of the Sun	Dareus, Mitchell, Campbell, Carradine, Quinn, Vernon (3 av)	24.54 (8.18)
5	Dynasore Losers	Babineaux, Phillips, Siliga, T. Walker, S. Williams, Dunlap, Hughes, Wilkerson (3.33 av)	19.67 (5.91)
6	Dynasty of Sadness	Brockers, Floyd, Joseph, J. Allen, Bailey, Clayborn, Moore, Richardson, Taylor (3 av)	16.38 (5.46)
7	Dynaforone Firebirds	Atkins, Suh, Edwards, Gilberry, Ch. Johnson, Ninkovich, Tuck (3.5 av)	18.29 (5.23)
8	Kelkowski	Brown, Ratliff, Shelton, Avril, Griffen, Jenkins (3 av)	11.25 (3.75)
9	Dynablaster Bombermen	Hill, K. Williams, Casey, Liuget, Wake, M. Williams (3 av)	11.00 (3.67)
10	East Flanders Dungeoneers	Crawford, Marks, Ealy, Hayward, Lawrence, Paea (3 av)	10.25 (3.42)

Linebackers

1	Champions of the Sun	Barr, Barrett, Bowman, Collins, Davis, Houston, Mack (4 av)	42.60 (10.65)
2	Dynasty of Sadness	P. Brown, David, Irvin, M. Kendricks. T. Smith, Trevathan, Wagner (4 av)	34.22 (8.56)
3	DynaHarder	Alonso, Clowney, Hightower, Laurinaitis, V. Miller, Mosely, Orakpo (3.83 av)	29.51 (7.70)
4	Kelkowski	Alexander, Anthony, Cushing, Dansby, Greenway, D. Jackson, B. Marshall, Robinson, Ware (4 av)	30.68 (7.67)
5	Tamworth Two	Attaouchu, Freeman, C. Jones, Kikaha, Kuechly, Posluszny, Williamson (3.67 av)	26.12 (7.12)
6	Dynaforone Firebirds	Graham, D. Johnson, Ogletree, Peppers, Te’o, Timmons (3.5 av)	23.92 (6.83)
7	Dynablaster Bombermen	Barwin, Dumervil, Elliott, Lee, C. Matthews, Shazier (4 av)	25.23 (6.31)
8	East Flanders Dungeoneers	D. Davis, D. Harris, Ingram, M. Smith, Worrilow (4 av)	23.17 (5.79)
9	Here Comes the Brees	Bradham, Butler, Hicks, Jenkins, Kennard, Lansanah, McPhee, Morgan, D. Smith, Tulloch (3.83 av)	20.91 (5.46)
10	Dynasore Losers	Hali, Kerrigan, Kruger, Okafor, Rey, Suggs, Unga (3.67 av)	14.92 (4.07)

Secondary

1	Dynablaster Bombermen	Breeland, V. Davis, Gilmore, Roby, Graham, Ihedigbo, Ward	38.88 (9.72)
2	Champions of the Sun	Carrie, Carroll, Flowers, A. Jones, Norman, Church, R. Jones, Weddle	38.13 (9.53)
3	Kelkowski	K. Jackson, J. Jenkins, Revis, J. Smith, M. Adams, Bethea, M. Jenkins, Nelson	33.70 (8.43)
4	Dynasty of Sadness	Butler, Fletcher, Fuller, Gay, Berry, Matthieu, McDonald, Vaccaro	30.03 (7.51)
5	Tamworth Two	Amukamara, Rhodes, Shields, Verner, Chancellor, Collins, Rolle, Whitner	28.96 (7.24)
6	Dynasore Losers	J. Banks, Joseph, M. Peters, Logan, Gipson, Moore, Quin	28.18 (7.05)
7	DynaHarder	Cox, Peterson, Talib, Webb, Bucannon, Cyprien, Pryor, Reid	26.74 (6.69)
8	Here Comes the Brees	Darby, Hall, Toler, Verrett, T. Williams, Conte, R. Johnson, H. Smith, E. Thomas, S. Thomas	25.55 (6.39)
9	East Flanders Dungeoneers	Haden, Harris, Maxwell, Clinton-Dix, Hill, Iloka, A. Williams	22.68 (5.67)
10	Dynaforone Firebirds	Grimes, Sherman, Trufant, C. Williams, Barron, Burnett, Parker, Searcy	19.64 (4.91)

Below is a table that brings each team’s positional ranks, along with their offensive, defensive and overall average points, into one place for easy digestion.

Name	QB	RB	Rec	Spec	OFF	DL	LB	DB	DEF	OVR
Champs	4	3	4	4	110	4	1	2	105	216
T2	1	4	9	9	104	1	5	5	85	189
Harder	3	6	8	2	105	3	3	7	83	188
Losers	9	1	2	1	124	5	10	6	63	186
Rules	5	5	3	10	107	8	4	3	76	183
Breeses	6	2	10	8	104	2	9	8	74	178
Bombers	8	9	5	3	101	9	7	1	75	176
Sadness	10	8	6	7	92	6	2	4	81	173
Birds	2	10	1	6	111	7	6	10	62	173
Dung’s	7	7	7	5	98	10	8	9	56	154

The above table shows a clear leader and a clear trailer in terms of average overall score, with the other 8 teams clustered with only 15 points separating them from the Tamworth Two in 2^nd to the Firebirds in 9^th.

Champions of the Sun – The current front-runners for the Owl show good consistency across all categories, indicating playmakers in most spots. Although their offence is above average, the clear difference maker is the defence, scoring 20 points per week more than the 2^nd best defence on average.

Tamworth Two – If I’d done this article last week the Hogs would not have been as high up the tables but that’s what scoring 280 points in a week will do for you. Unsurprisingly, having Aaron Rodgers as your QB lands you at #1 in the QB rankings but the dominant defence from last year is rolling back into form too, after a slow start. An injury to Alshon Jeffery has cost the receiving corps but that doesn’t explain #9 by itself. This is an area T2 should, and are, looking to improve but getting better at skill positions mid-season is never easy. Willie Snead should help but they may want to look at special teams too for an improvement.

DynaHarder – A hot start from the owners of last year’s #1 pick has tailed off somewhat but Chris and Steve’s team is still looking strong even with JJ Watt’s transformation into ‘normal NFL player’. Their low ranking at WR is nothing to worry about as the return of Ben Roethlisberger should carry Antonio Brown back to his previous heights and Martavis Bryant is also now back from suspension.

Dynasore Losers – Oh Peter. Peter, Peter, Peter. Should’ve quit while you were ahead. Manning’s struggles have sunk the Losers’ QB ranking but with Andy Dalton cemented at #1 on the Losers’ depth chart now and Derek Carr waiting to back him up the only way is up. Early-season predictions of doom from the Stat Blats were wide of the mark at RB but spot-on at linebacker where the Kruger/Kerrigan axis from last season has failed to hit form this year, leaving the Losers languishing. Their top scoring offence is covering for now but Slater may want to look into trading for some promising talent on his defence.

Kelkowski Don’t Play By No DynaRules – The Rules started slowly but are now rounding into better form, largely thanks to the return from injury of Arian Foster and the return from ‘getting dropped for a 2 yard loss on every play’ of DeMarco Murray. Expect that mediocre #5 rank at RB to rise. The big holes are at special teams (for a pair of owners who won’t shut up about the value of kickers and punters they don’t seem to have any good ones) and on the defensive line, where rookie tackles, people blowing their own fingers off and under-performing Everson Griffen have left them light. If I was Kelkowski I would be hitting the phones and sounding out other owners with depth at DT or DE on potential deals.

Here Comes the Brees – I thought this team were supposed to be terrible? Everybody told me they were terrible, including co-owner Ben Archee. Instead they’re a team with a few big holes and a few big strengths who have perhaps gone into full rebuilding mode too early. Their high ranking at DL is sure to drop with Aaron Donald traded away but the unlikely power-trio of Doug Martin, Devonta Freeman and Lamar Miller should carry them through at RB. Injuries to DeSean Jackson, Breshad Perriman, Steve Smith Sr and Victor Cruz have left them low at WR, hence the low ranking but, to my mind, there’s enough here to be optimistic.

Dynablaster Bombermen – Well, so much for the Stat Blats pre-season choice for the Owl. Through 6 games the Dynablaster Bombermen have underwhelmed and you can’t really point to any 1 thing as the reason why. The Falcons are 5-1 but Matt Ryan is no more than a low-end QB1 so far. What should have been one of the best RB groups currently looks like one of the worst, whether through injury, game plan or poor play. The saving grace for the Bombermen has been an overpowering set of playmakers in the secondary and solid special teams play. They’ve addressed the problems on the line already with the trade for Aaron Donald at least. In terms of action I think Hendy and Smith have taken the best course with that move. Their offence is horribly underperforming at the moment but the talent is there and this team will score very well when it breaks right. Don’t give up hope!

The People’s Republic of the 4^th Dynmension: Dynasty of Sadness – New year, same problem. The Sadness are unlucky to be 1-5 with their average scores showing them to be at the same level as most other teams but they are let down, for the second season in a row, by poor QB play. Laycock and Simpson went all in on Teddy Bridgeeater and they have to be wondering if that was sensible at this point as the 2^nd year QBs play has been questionable at best. Brock Osweiler sits on the bench, rubbing his hands gleefully at every wobbled pass thrown by Peter Manning but should the Sadness be looking to get in another pair of hands until that point? The Stat Blats think so. The rest of the team looks ok with no obvious holes except, maybe, DT but that position can be a lottery. A trade for Allen Bailey has shored up DE and the loss of Dez Bryant is always going to hit your receiving corps hard. TE is a position that could use a bump, having said that. How much for Gary Barnidge…

Dynaforone Firebirds – Is this a typo? What are the current champions doing languishing down here in 9^th place on overall average score?! Look at those running backs (ranked 10^th). Look at that secondary (ranked 10^th). Look at those linebackers (ranked 9^th). This is a team with some obvious strengths and some hideous weaknesses. Neil has been trying to address some of the holes on defence but without much luck so far. The secondary could do with an overhaul though. At this point it might be worth dropping the lot of them without guaranteed money and just picking up whoever the best free agents are. Could that end any worse? Injuries to Lynch and the underperformance of CJ Anderson explain the poor RB play but Hawke may well be regretting the trading away of Jeremy Hill in the summer (not that he’s done much better). Chris Johnson’s re-emergence and a recent trade for Ryan Matthews help here and should see the position pick up.

East Flanders Dungeoneers – Well done, Pete. You won a couple of games with this shower. Kudos. We knew it would be a long re-building process for the Dungeoneers and so it’s proving. Pete Conaghan is in the midst of a furious reshuffling that has seen him trade many of his players with short-term value for picks or multiple lottery ticket players. It was never going to be pretty in the short term. The offence has been competent, if inconsistent, but the defence is a disaster. What does Stat Blats recommend? Keep on keeping on, Pete. Keep on keeping on. And maybe don’t pick up quite as many Chargers.

MAX’S STAT BLATS! – Week One

September 16, 2015

Max Cubberley

Max Stat Blats No Comments

Once the final scores are tallied each week, I, Maximilian Cubberley, feed them into a colourful spreadsheet to produce spurious stats that range from the inaccurate to the irrelevant. Last season I kept this to myself for the most part but now, you lucky bunch, you get to share in the fun too! Here’s some stats complete with half-arsed analysis from week 1 of the new season. As always, when we start something new we look to the past for validation. Let’s see how everyone’s week 1 compared to last season.

Don’t Take Offence

A lot changed in the off-season. Players were cut, players were traded, players were drafted, all David’s linebackers retired. Here’s a sweeping overview of the top offences for week 1 vs the top offences from last season.

Top 5 Offences in 2015:

Dynaforone Firebirds (125 points on average)
Kelkowski Don’t Play By No DynaRules (120 poa)
Dynasore Losers (116 poa)
Champions of the Sun (110 poa)
DynaHard (108 poa)

Top 5 Offences in Week 1:

Dynaforone Firebirds (132 points)
DynaHard (122 points)
Tamworth Two (115 points)
East Flanders Dungeoneers (110 points)
Champions of the Sun (107 points)

Firebirds still sit top of the pile with Champions of the Sun also holding rough position. DynaHard have powered up the rankings powered by free agent signing Joseph Randle and the surprising competence of the Tennessee Titans offence. The news is not so good for Kelkowski though where an injury to Arian Foster, Jeremy Maclin’s new position as ‘A Chiefs’ Pass Catcher Who Isn’t Travis Kelce’ and Julius Thomas’ need to break his own hand to avoid having to play for the Jags has dropped them out of the top 5 and resulted in a loss of 14 points from their average. They can console themselves with the fact that at least they’re not the Dynasore Losers though who plummet from 3rd place to 9th after one week with a staggering loss of 42 points from last season’s average. Although many predicted a sharp drop-off for Slater’s boys I don’t think anyone can have expected this and the fans will be hoping that this is a blip for the Broncos not the whole story as the Losers’ offence looks lost without Manning and Sanders as Jordy Nelson is also gone for the season.

On the other hand, maybe we should all just take solace in the fact these stats clearly mean nothing. I mean, the freshly re-branded East Flanders Dungeoneers have somehow appeared in the top 5 there gaining 16 points over their average from last year. Time will tell if the improvement is sustainable.

As a general note, whilst there are obviously big swings in points from one week to the next it should be noted that for both offence and defence, 4 of the top 5 teams at the end of last season were also in the top 5 in week 1 of last season.

On the Defensive

Top 5 Defences in 2015:

Champions of the Sun (80 poa)
Tamworth Two (79 poa)
DynaHard (77 poa)
Here Comes the Brees (75 poa)
Dynabummer Blastermensch (75 poa)

Top 5 Defences in Week 1:

DynaHard (115)
Champions of the Sun (90)
Here Comes the Brees (71)
DynaforOne Firebirds (65)
Dynasore Losers (61)

As with Offence we can see the Champions of the Sun holding steady and DynaHard showing improvement for what was already a good unit. Both teams should be encouraged by week 1 of this season and take it as a sign that they can improve on their positions from last season. Worryingly for the rest of the league, the Firebirds have held steady on offence and improved on defence, cracking the top 5 in week 1 when they finished 2015 as the worst defensive unit. This improvement is in no small part due to a big improvement at linebacker where Derrick Johnson’s return seems to have sparked life into the team.

Both the Tamworth Two and the Dynabunny Boostermonks dropped out of the top 5 in week 1. For the Hogs this may not be more than a blip. They scored 61 points on defence, which is a significant drop but it was a quiet week for elite rushers Chandler Jones and Olivier Vernon that should not become the new norm for these players. The Dynaboomer Bustermuffs dropped from 75 points to 39 in week 1, in large part due to a dismal 2.5 point effort from their defensive line of Kyle Williams, Cameron Wake and Mario Williams. Whilst this looks more alarming than the story for the Hogs you can’t look at those three names and say you expect single-digit defensive line performances going forward. The Bambimoons should bounce back next week.

Don’t Be Down on D

Some of you may be looking at your week 1 performances with a frowny face, worrying, particularly, about performance on the defensive side of the ball. With an average score of 64.5 on D this week the league is running at nearly 10 points under the average defensive performance than last year. There’s good news however as defensive point scoring trended up as the season went along last year. In weeks 1 to 5 last season, the average defence scored 65.1 points. In weeks 10 to 14 the average score jumped to 77.1. A lot of defensive positions are volatile, particularly DT, CB and S and it takes a while to pinpoint who the best players on the roster (or the wire) are for the coming season. Chances are that you will see your defences start to pick up more points as the season goes along and getting ahead of that knowledge curve in those volatile positions will help with that.

First to Worst

Now it’s time to overreact! Which units on which teams were good last season and terrible in week 1? Let’s find out.

Champions of the Sun RBs – 2015 rank: 3rd, Week 1 rank: 10th. With Le’Veon Bell and Lagarette Blount suspended, CJ Spiller injured and the Cleveland Cabal traded away it was no surprise to see the Champions rushing attack falter in week 1. Starting only two players for a combined 8.3 points it must have been painful viewing for the Dayman, even if it doesn’t seem to have cost him the win (disclaimer: scoring adjustments on Thursday are likely to make this statement false very shortly).
Dynasore Losers LBs – 2015 rank: 1st, Week 1 rank: 10th. As with the Champions’ rushers above, David Slater can’t have been surprised to see his linebacking corps disintegrate. DeAndre Levy released, Terrell Suggs injured, Tamba Hali another year older and, worst of all, Chris Borland retiring has left the Losers with a makeshift unit heaped on the shoulders of Ryan Kerrigan. It may pick up (to be honest, they scored 8 points between them this week, it couldn’t get worse) but we won’t be seeing the Losers back to the top of the charts at this position this year.
East Flanders Dungeoneers and Dynasty of Sadness Special Teams – 2015 rank: 4th and 3rd, Week 1 rank: 9th and 10th. It’s a sure sign that teams have been focusing their off-season efforts in the wrong places when special teams takes a hit. Despite how commonly acknowledged it is, both Pete Conaghan and Geoffrey Manboob seem to have forgotten that kickers and punters are the lifeblood of the team. If this course is not corrected immediately I foresee a dismal season ahead for both teams.

Last in the Past

Now let’s look at some of the units that have improved vastly over last season based on week 1 performance.

East Flanders Dungeoneers Running Backs – 2015 rank: 10th, Week 1 rank: 2nd. When the Dungeoneers gave up Eddy Lacy for the 2nd pick in the draft it seemed like Pete Conaghan was accepting that sub par was the new par at running back. When he then traded away Lagarette Blount it seemed the white flag was already waving. Little did we know that Carlos Hyde was the second coming of LaDainian Tomlinson. Hyde put up 168 yards and 2 TDs in week 1 against the Vikings. Whilst you might question the sustainability of this, Justin Forsett and Rashad Jennings contributed another 17 points and the unit was only narrowly pipped to #1 by an Ameer Abdullah and Eddy Lacy-led Sadness rushing unit. The Dungeoneers won’t get 47 points from this lot every week but they seem to be in a position to sustain a good performance for the season. They won’t win anything if they don’t sort out their special teams though. Seriously. Sort out your special teams, Pete.
Dynaforone Firebirds Linebackers – 2015 rank: 10th, Week 1 rank: 2nd. Julius Peppers was a lone bright spot for the Firebirds last season at linebacker. This improvement may need to be taken with a pinch of salt as, despite coming 2nd on the week, the Firebirds’ linebackers put up a good week, not a great week. Derrick Johnson is a big plus for them though and Brandon Graham will have better days ahead. The unit is not deep though so an injury in the wrong place or age catching up to Peppers could see the Firebirds dropping back down the rankings again.

That’s it from me for week 1. Theoretically I will be doing more pointless stats in the coming weeks but, realistically, I’ll probably not be bothered.

Weekly Stats

Peter vs. Tim Watch

Don’t Take Offence

Top 5 Offences in 2015:

Top 5 Offences in Week 1:

On the Defensive

Top 5 Defences in 2015:

Top 5 Defences in Week 1:

Don’t Be Down on D

First to Worst

Last in the Past

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