Tag: Dynasore Losers

It’s the start of week 7 of the 2015 NFL season which is, near as dammit, halfway through the fantasy NFL season so, this week, Stat Blats will look at positional groupings in the DynaBowl to breakdown which parts of your team are riding high and which are down in the dumps. I’ll start with the raw data, then do a team-by-team breakdown, looking at the season so far with some slipshod analysis. You’re welcome. You’re all so very welcome.

Quarterback

	Team	Starters	Average
1	Tamworth Two	Rodgers, Palmer	21.76
2	Dynaforone Firebirds	Wilson, Rivers	18.28
3	DynaHarder	E. Manning, Mariota, Stafford	18.03
4	Champions of the Sun	Roethlisberger, Palmer	17.57
5	Kelkowski	Bortles, Kaepernick, Romo	17.43
6	Here Comes the Brees	Brady, Luck	16.77
7	East Flanders Dungeoneers	Newton, Tannehill, Foles	16.61
8	Dynablaster Bombermen	Ryan	16.21
9	Dynasore Losers	Dalton, P. Manning	15.32
10	Dynasty of Sadness	Brees, Bridgewater	11.80

Running Backs

For sections under flex consideration I have worked out the average number of starters in each position over the first 6 weeks and divided the average by that number. This produces an average score per player you start at that position, not favouring teams that start more players in one position.

1	Dynasore Losers	Forte, Peterson, Lewis (3 starters (2.5 av))	34.27 (13.71)
2	Here Comes the Brees	Freeman, Martin, Crowell, Miller (4 starters (2.83 av))	37.05 (13.09)
3	Champions of the Sun	L. Bell, L. Murray, Rawls, Da. Williams, Spiller (5 starters (2.17 av)	24.95 (11.5)
4	Tamworth Two	Ivory, Du. Johnson, McCoy, McFadden, Stewart, K. Williams, A. Williams (7 starters (3 av))	32.30 (10.77)
5	Kelkowski	Blue, Foster, Ingram, D. Murray, Yeldon (5 starters (3 av))	31.72 (10.57)
6	DynaHarder	Charles, Morris, Randle, Sankey, Gurley (5 starters (3 av))	31.11 (10.37)
7	East Flanders Dungeoneers	Forsett, Woodhead, Hyde, Jennings (4 starters (3 av))	28.05 (9.35)
8	Dynasty of Sadness	Abdullah, Blount, M. Jones, Lacy, Vereen, De. Williams (6 starters (3 av))	26.73 (8.91)
9	Dynablaster Bombermen	Bernard, Ellington, Gordon, J. Hill, Da. Johnson (5 starters (3 av))	25.96 (8.65)
10	Dynaforone Firebirds	Anderson, Gore, C. Johnson, Lynch (4 starters (2.83 av))	19.38 (6.85)

Receivers (WRs and TEs)

1	Dynaforone Firebirds	Colston, Edelman, Ju. Jones, Royal, Thomas, Bennett, Clay, Gates, Gronkowski (9 starters (5.17 av))	60.84 (11.77)
2	Dynasore Losers	Agholor, Fitzgerald, Ja. Jones, Moncrief, Sanders, T. Smith, Donnell, Graham (8 starters (5.5 av))	57.15 (10.39)
3	Kelkowski	Baldwin, Cobb, Ca. Johnson, Maclin, Barnidge, Witten (6 starters (5 av))	48.38 (9.68)
4	Champions of the Sun	J. Brown, Evans, Hankerson, Harvin, Hopkins, Robinson, White, Kelce, Reed, Walker (10 starters (5.83 av))	54.45 (9.34)
5	Dynablaster Bombermen	Boldin, Cooks, A. Green, A. Johnson, Matthews, Shorts, Olsen, Sefarian-Jenkins (8 starters (5 av))	44.47 (8.89)
6	Dynasty of Sadness	Beckham, D. Bryant, Crowder, Decker, Ginn, Tate, Wheaton, Allen, Chandler, Escobar, L. Green (11 starters (5 av))	41.71 (8.34)
7	East Flanders Dungeoneers	Adams, Allen, Cooper, Mi. Floyd, S. Johnson, Marshall, Randle, Stills, Fleener, Rudolph (10 starters (5 av))	41.17 (8.23)
8	DynaHarder	Austin, A. Brown, Hilton, Hurns, M. Jones, Watkins, Wright, Bennett, Cook (9 starters (5 av))	40.33 (8.07)
9	Tamworth Two	Coleman, Crabtree, V. Jackson, Jeffery, Landry, Snead, Wallace, Ebron, Rodgers (9 starters (5 av))	39.48 (7.90)
10	Here Comes the Brees	Benjamin, Garcon, D. Jackson, Ch. Johnson, S. Smith Sr., T. Williams, Daniels, Eifert, Ertz (9 starters (5.17 av))	39.00 (7.54)

Special Teams

1	Dynasore Losers	Gostkowski, Tucker, Anger, King	16.86 (8.43)
2	DynaHarder	Bryant, McManus, Hekker, Pinion	15.30 (7.65)
3	Dynablaster Bombermen	Brown, Schmidt	14.58 (7.29)
4	Champions of the Sun	Catanzaro, McAfee, D. Colquitt	13.48 (6.74)
5	East Flanders Dungeoneers	Parkey, Santos, Lee	12.56 (6.28)
6	Dynaforone Firebirds	Crosby, Koch	12.51 (6.26)
7	Dynasty of Sadness	Hauschka, Vinatieri, Lechler	11.91 (5.96)
8	Here Comes the Brees	Gano, Jones, Kern	10.91 (5.46)
9	Tamworth Two	Carpenter, Coons, Butler, McAfee	10.42 (5.21)
10	Kelkowski	Prater, Gould, Huber, Martin	9.53 (4.77)

Defensive Line

1	Tamworth Two	McCoy, McDonald, Short, C. Jones, Tuitt, Vernon (3.33 av)	29.67 (8.91)
2	Here Comes the Brees	Donald, Howard, Bennett, Cox, Jordan (3.17 av)	27.88 (8.79)
3	DynaHarder	Hankins, Harrison, B. Williams, Ansah, Watt (3.17 av)	26.58 (8.38)
4	Champions of the Sun	Dareus, Mitchell, Campbell, Carradine, Quinn, Vernon (3 av)	24.54 (8.18)
5	Dynasore Losers	Babineaux, Phillips, Siliga, T. Walker, S. Williams, Dunlap, Hughes, Wilkerson (3.33 av)	19.67 (5.91)
6	Dynasty of Sadness	Brockers, Floyd, Joseph, J. Allen, Bailey, Clayborn, Moore, Richardson, Taylor (3 av)	16.38 (5.46)
7	Dynaforone Firebirds	Atkins, Suh, Edwards, Gilberry, Ch. Johnson, Ninkovich, Tuck (3.5 av)	18.29 (5.23)
8	Kelkowski	Brown, Ratliff, Shelton, Avril, Griffen, Jenkins (3 av)	11.25 (3.75)
9	Dynablaster Bombermen	Hill, K. Williams, Casey, Liuget, Wake, M. Williams (3 av)	11.00 (3.67)
10	East Flanders Dungeoneers	Crawford, Marks, Ealy, Hayward, Lawrence, Paea (3 av)	10.25 (3.42)

Linebackers

1	Champions of the Sun	Barr, Barrett, Bowman, Collins, Davis, Houston, Mack (4 av)	42.60 (10.65)
2	Dynasty of Sadness	P. Brown, David, Irvin, M. Kendricks. T. Smith, Trevathan, Wagner (4 av)	34.22 (8.56)
3	DynaHarder	Alonso, Clowney, Hightower, Laurinaitis, V. Miller, Mosely, Orakpo (3.83 av)	29.51 (7.70)
4	Kelkowski	Alexander, Anthony, Cushing, Dansby, Greenway, D. Jackson, B. Marshall, Robinson, Ware (4 av)	30.68 (7.67)
5	Tamworth Two	Attaouchu, Freeman, C. Jones, Kikaha, Kuechly, Posluszny, Williamson (3.67 av)	26.12 (7.12)
6	Dynaforone Firebirds	Graham, D. Johnson, Ogletree, Peppers, Te’o, Timmons (3.5 av)	23.92 (6.83)
7	Dynablaster Bombermen	Barwin, Dumervil, Elliott, Lee, C. Matthews, Shazier (4 av)	25.23 (6.31)
8	East Flanders Dungeoneers	D. Davis, D. Harris, Ingram, M. Smith, Worrilow (4 av)	23.17 (5.79)
9	Here Comes the Brees	Bradham, Butler, Hicks, Jenkins, Kennard, Lansanah, McPhee, Morgan, D. Smith, Tulloch (3.83 av)	20.91 (5.46)
10	Dynasore Losers	Hali, Kerrigan, Kruger, Okafor, Rey, Suggs, Unga (3.67 av)	14.92 (4.07)

Secondary

1	Dynablaster Bombermen	Breeland, V. Davis, Gilmore, Roby, Graham, Ihedigbo, Ward	38.88 (9.72)
2	Champions of the Sun	Carrie, Carroll, Flowers, A. Jones, Norman, Church, R. Jones, Weddle	38.13 (9.53)
3	Kelkowski	K. Jackson, J. Jenkins, Revis, J. Smith, M. Adams, Bethea, M. Jenkins, Nelson	33.70 (8.43)
4	Dynasty of Sadness	Butler, Fletcher, Fuller, Gay, Berry, Matthieu, McDonald, Vaccaro	30.03 (7.51)
5	Tamworth Two	Amukamara, Rhodes, Shields, Verner, Chancellor, Collins, Rolle, Whitner	28.96 (7.24)
6	Dynasore Losers	J. Banks, Joseph, M. Peters, Logan, Gipson, Moore, Quin	28.18 (7.05)
7	DynaHarder	Cox, Peterson, Talib, Webb, Bucannon, Cyprien, Pryor, Reid	26.74 (6.69)
8	Here Comes the Brees	Darby, Hall, Toler, Verrett, T. Williams, Conte, R. Johnson, H. Smith, E. Thomas, S. Thomas	25.55 (6.39)
9	East Flanders Dungeoneers	Haden, Harris, Maxwell, Clinton-Dix, Hill, Iloka, A. Williams	22.68 (5.67)
10	Dynaforone Firebirds	Grimes, Sherman, Trufant, C. Williams, Barron, Burnett, Parker, Searcy	19.64 (4.91)

Below is a table that brings each team’s positional ranks, along with their offensive, defensive and overall average points, into one place for easy digestion.

Name	QB	RB	Rec	Spec	OFF	DL	LB	DB	DEF	OVR
Champs	4	3	4	4	110	4	1	2	105	216
T2	1	4	9	9	104	1	5	5	85	189
Harder	3	6	8	2	105	3	3	7	83	188
Losers	9	1	2	1	124	5	10	6	63	186
Rules	5	5	3	10	107	8	4	3	76	183
Breeses	6	2	10	8	104	2	9	8	74	178
Bombers	8	9	5	3	101	9	7	1	75	176
Sadness	10	8	6	7	92	6	2	4	81	173
Birds	2	10	1	6	111	7	6	10	62	173
Dung’s	7	7	7	5	98	10	8	9	56	154

The above table shows a clear leader and a clear trailer in terms of average overall score, with the other 8 teams clustered with only 15 points separating them from the Tamworth Two in 2^nd to the Firebirds in 9^th.

Champions of the Sun – The current front-runners for the Owl show good consistency across all categories, indicating playmakers in most spots. Although their offence is above average, the clear difference maker is the defence, scoring 20 points per week more than the 2^nd best defence on average.

Tamworth Two – If I’d done this article last week the Hogs would not have been as high up the tables but that’s what scoring 280 points in a week will do for you. Unsurprisingly, having Aaron Rodgers as your QB lands you at #1 in the QB rankings but the dominant defence from last year is rolling back into form too, after a slow start. An injury to Alshon Jeffery has cost the receiving corps but that doesn’t explain #9 by itself. This is an area T2 should, and are, looking to improve but getting better at skill positions mid-season is never easy. Willie Snead should help but they may want to look at special teams too for an improvement.

DynaHarder – A hot start from the owners of last year’s #1 pick has tailed off somewhat but Chris and Steve’s team is still looking strong even with JJ Watt’s transformation into ‘normal NFL player’. Their low ranking at WR is nothing to worry about as the return of Ben Roethlisberger should carry Antonio Brown back to his previous heights and Martavis Bryant is also now back from suspension.

Dynasore Losers – Oh Peter. Peter, Peter, Peter. Should’ve quit while you were ahead. Manning’s struggles have sunk the Losers’ QB ranking but with Andy Dalton cemented at #1 on the Losers’ depth chart now and Derek Carr waiting to back him up the only way is up. Early-season predictions of doom from the Stat Blats were wide of the mark at RB but spot-on at linebacker where the Kruger/Kerrigan axis from last season has failed to hit form this year, leaving the Losers languishing. Their top scoring offence is covering for now but Slater may want to look into trading for some promising talent on his defence.

Kelkowski Don’t Play By No DynaRules – The Rules started slowly but are now rounding into better form, largely thanks to the return from injury of Arian Foster and the return from ‘getting dropped for a 2 yard loss on every play’ of DeMarco Murray. Expect that mediocre #5 rank at RB to rise. The big holes are at special teams (for a pair of owners who won’t shut up about the value of kickers and punters they don’t seem to have any good ones) and on the defensive line, where rookie tackles, people blowing their own fingers off and under-performing Everson Griffen have left them light. If I was Kelkowski I would be hitting the phones and sounding out other owners with depth at DT or DE on potential deals.

Here Comes the Brees – I thought this team were supposed to be terrible? Everybody told me they were terrible, including co-owner Ben Archee. Instead they’re a team with a few big holes and a few big strengths who have perhaps gone into full rebuilding mode too early. Their high ranking at DL is sure to drop with Aaron Donald traded away but the unlikely power-trio of Doug Martin, Devonta Freeman and Lamar Miller should carry them through at RB. Injuries to DeSean Jackson, Breshad Perriman, Steve Smith Sr and Victor Cruz have left them low at WR, hence the low ranking but, to my mind, there’s enough here to be optimistic.

Dynablaster Bombermen – Well, so much for the Stat Blats pre-season choice for the Owl. Through 6 games the Dynablaster Bombermen have underwhelmed and you can’t really point to any 1 thing as the reason why. The Falcons are 5-1 but Matt Ryan is no more than a low-end QB1 so far. What should have been one of the best RB groups currently looks like one of the worst, whether through injury, game plan or poor play. The saving grace for the Bombermen has been an overpowering set of playmakers in the secondary and solid special teams play. They’ve addressed the problems on the line already with the trade for Aaron Donald at least. In terms of action I think Hendy and Smith have taken the best course with that move. Their offence is horribly underperforming at the moment but the talent is there and this team will score very well when it breaks right. Don’t give up hope!

The People’s Republic of the 4^th Dynmension: Dynasty of Sadness – New year, same problem. The Sadness are unlucky to be 1-5 with their average scores showing them to be at the same level as most other teams but they are let down, for the second season in a row, by poor QB play. Laycock and Simpson went all in on Teddy Bridgeeater and they have to be wondering if that was sensible at this point as the 2^nd year QBs play has been questionable at best. Brock Osweiler sits on the bench, rubbing his hands gleefully at every wobbled pass thrown by Peter Manning but should the Sadness be looking to get in another pair of hands until that point? The Stat Blats think so. The rest of the team looks ok with no obvious holes except, maybe, DT but that position can be a lottery. A trade for Allen Bailey has shored up DE and the loss of Dez Bryant is always going to hit your receiving corps hard. TE is a position that could use a bump, having said that. How much for Gary Barnidge…

Dynaforone Firebirds – Is this a typo? What are the current champions doing languishing down here in 9^th place on overall average score?! Look at those running backs (ranked 10^th). Look at that secondary (ranked 10^th). Look at those linebackers (ranked 9^th). This is a team with some obvious strengths and some hideous weaknesses. Neil has been trying to address some of the holes on defence but without much luck so far. The secondary could do with an overhaul though. At this point it might be worth dropping the lot of them without guaranteed money and just picking up whoever the best free agents are. Could that end any worse? Injuries to Lynch and the underperformance of CJ Anderson explain the poor RB play but Hawke may well be regretting the trading away of Jeremy Hill in the summer (not that he’s done much better). Chris Johnson’s re-emergence and a recent trade for Ryan Matthews help here and should see the position pick up.

East Flanders Dungeoneers – Well done, Pete. You won a couple of games with this shower. Kudos. We knew it would be a long re-building process for the Dungeoneers and so it’s proving. Pete Conaghan is in the midst of a furious reshuffling that has seen him trade many of his players with short-term value for picks or multiple lottery ticket players. It was never going to be pretty in the short term. The offence has been competent, if inconsistent, but the defence is a disaster. What does Stat Blats recommend? Keep on keeping on, Pete. Keep on keeping on. And maybe don’t pick up quite as many Chargers.

MAX’S STAT BLATS! – Week Two

September 24, 2015

Max Cubberley

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The spreadsheet has been fed this week and my dot matrix printer has finally finished churning out the data for me to pore through. This week I’ll take a look at the first two weeks performance from 2015 and compare it to the first two weeks from 2014 to see if we can build a picture of where each team’s fortunes will go from here.

Reality Bites

Below are comparisons of performance through week 2 of the 2015 and 2015 seasons, ordered by finishing order in the 2014 season.

	2014 Week 2	2014 Standing	2015 Week 2	POA Diff
Dynaforone Firebirds	1-1 (137 poa)	7-6	1-1 (181 poa)	+44
Here Comes the Brees	1-1 (146 poa)	8-5	0-2 (152 poa)	+6
Dynasore Losers	2-0 (175 poa)	8-5	2-0 (172 poa)	-3
Kelkowski	2-0 (212 poa)	8-5	0-2 (153 poa)	-59
Dynablinker Obamamen	0-2 (168 poa)	7-6	0-2 (156 poa)	-12
Champions of the Sun	1-1 (181 poa)	6-7	2-0 (192 poa)	+11
Tamworth Two	2-0 (185 poa)	6-7	1-1 (167 poa)	-18
East Flanders Dungeoneers	1-1 (161 poa)	5-8	2-0 (158 poa)	-3
Dynasty of Sadness	0-2 (129 poa)	5-8	0-2 (154 poa)	+25
DynaHarder	0-2 (168 poa)	5-8	2-0 (223 poa)	+55

So let’s get the good news out of the way. DynaHarder have gone from an 0-2 start last season to a 2-0 start this season, having the highest average points in the process. The attendant 55 point jump in average score shows that the team has improved hugely over last season’s average start and there is still the return of Martivis Bryant and abhorrent human being Greg Hardy to come.

The other two significant improvements over last season can be seen at the Dynasty of Sadness and, worryingly, 2014 Superb Owl winners the Firebirds. The Sadness were a flimsy excuse for a fantasy football team last year and anything less than a big jump from 2014’s 129 average points would have been a disaster. Whilst the team are still at the bottom end of the points scorers they are not cut adrift like last season and can expect to be competitive. How the Firebirds improved from 2014’s disastrous start to claim the Owl may warrant an article on its own but the team has started strongly this year, being unfortunate to lose with the 3^rd highest score in week 1.

On the other side of the ball it would be remiss not to start with Kelkowski’s 59 point plummet from the first two games of last season. Last week I highlighted some of the reasons Jay and Ian might not be surprised by this but the extent of the drop off is alarming. Despite the poor start of the Breeses this year it’s worth noting that they’ve actually started better in terms of their weekly output this year, suggesting all may not be as bleak as first appeared. Could another unlikely playoff run emerge? Another team I believed to have regressed have proved me wrong through two weeks as the Dynasore Losers are still scoring at the same level as the opening of last season. Whether they can power up to the heights of 2014 as they go along remains to be seen.

What Might Have Been

Looking at what the teams actually scored in the first two weeks is all very well and good but to get a full picture of improvement and regression we should also look at their potential points. What do their best line-ups look like compared to last season? This will also highlight where GMs are more directly responsible for good or poor performance with their team selection.

	2014 Week 2	2015 Week 2	PPOA Diff
Dynaforone Firebirds	188 ppoa	228 (79% eff)	+40
Here Comes the Brees	210 ppoa	228 (67% eff)	+18
Dynasore Losers	212 ppoa	244 (70% eff)	+32
Kelkowski	265 ppoa	206 (74% eff)	-59
Dynablaster Bombermen	233 ppoa	232 (67% eff)	-1
Champions of the Sun	204 ppoa	258 (74% eff)	+54
Tamworth Two	261 ppoa	216 (77% eff)	-45
East Flanders Dungeoneers	212 ppoa	208 (76% eff)	-4
Dynasty of Sadness	206 ppoa	211 (73% eff)	+5
DynaHarder	250 ppoa	282 (79% eff)	+32

The numbers here back up the findings for the Firebirds and DynaHarder, showing an overall squad improvement to match their gameday improvement. The other big improvers are the Losers and the Champions, both of whom seem to have added a lot of depth between the start of last season and now, whether it was during the season last year, in the off-season or in the draft. The Breeses too can be happy that, whilst they’re squad still has holes, the actions Dan and Ben have taken have strengthened and added depth.

For the other 5 teams the story is either one of maintaining the status quo or of regression. Despite some strong additions, the Sadness seem to only have a squad as good as the start of last season, suggesting inefficient squad selection contributed to the team’s woes at the start of last year. The Bombermen and, surprisingly, the Dungeoneers also seem to have remained on par with the start of last season. The Dungeoneers are a strange one. To the naked eye, the team seems stronger than last season yet the stats don’t back that up so far. It’s early days, and GM Pete is building for the future, but if the team finishes the season not having outperformed last year’s iteration it should go down as a disappointment.

Kelkowski’s woes have been dwelt on enough but they can at least take solace that a 74% squad efficiency is not horrible and they are doing a good enough job of team selection. The Tamworth Two’s drop in potential points isn’t far short of Kelkowski’s however and that should be a cause of concern. The struggles of Alshon Jeffrey and Jonathan Stewart have certainly contributed to this but the defence has taken the biggest hit with Olivier Vernon and the linebacking unit firing blanks so far. It’s early days yet, of course, and defensive scoring is notoriously streaky but this is a situation worth keeping an eye on. The good news is that the Hogs’ 77% efficiency rating is second best in the league so they, at least, making the most of what they have.

In the efficiency stakes both Bens and both Dans will hope to improve their team selection in the coming weeks as the hot hands become clear and depth chart fog starts to dissipate. Both teams are at sub-70% efficiency which is a major barrier to success. David is, of course, PLOBbing the shit out of himself but what else would you expect? The Losers are still 2-0 so maybe his carefree team selection is motivating the troops.

Join me next time on Stat Blats where I’ll be doing something else with stats, probably, unless I’m not.

MAX’S STAT BLATS! – Week One

September 16, 2015

Max Cubberley

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Once the final scores are tallied each week, I, Maximilian Cubberley, feed them into a colourful spreadsheet to produce spurious stats that range from the inaccurate to the irrelevant. Last season I kept this to myself for the most part but now, you lucky bunch, you get to share in the fun too! Here’s some stats complete with half-arsed analysis from week 1 of the new season. As always, when we start something new we look to the past for validation. Let’s see how everyone’s week 1 compared to last season.

Don’t Take Offence

A lot changed in the off-season. Players were cut, players were traded, players were drafted, all David’s linebackers retired. Here’s a sweeping overview of the top offences for week 1 vs the top offences from last season.

Top 5 Offences in 2015:

Dynaforone Firebirds (125 points on average)
Kelkowski Don’t Play By No DynaRules (120 poa)
Dynasore Losers (116 poa)
Champions of the Sun (110 poa)
DynaHard (108 poa)

Top 5 Offences in Week 1:

Dynaforone Firebirds (132 points)
DynaHard (122 points)
Tamworth Two (115 points)
East Flanders Dungeoneers (110 points)
Champions of the Sun (107 points)

Firebirds still sit top of the pile with Champions of the Sun also holding rough position. DynaHard have powered up the rankings powered by free agent signing Joseph Randle and the surprising competence of the Tennessee Titans offence. The news is not so good for Kelkowski though where an injury to Arian Foster, Jeremy Maclin’s new position as ‘A Chiefs’ Pass Catcher Who Isn’t Travis Kelce’ and Julius Thomas’ need to break his own hand to avoid having to play for the Jags has dropped them out of the top 5 and resulted in a loss of 14 points from their average. They can console themselves with the fact that at least they’re not the Dynasore Losers though who plummet from 3rd place to 9th after one week with a staggering loss of 42 points from last season’s average. Although many predicted a sharp drop-off for Slater’s boys I don’t think anyone can have expected this and the fans will be hoping that this is a blip for the Broncos not the whole story as the Losers’ offence looks lost without Manning and Sanders as Jordy Nelson is also gone for the season.

On the other hand, maybe we should all just take solace in the fact these stats clearly mean nothing. I mean, the freshly re-branded East Flanders Dungeoneers have somehow appeared in the top 5 there gaining 16 points over their average from last year. Time will tell if the improvement is sustainable.

As a general note, whilst there are obviously big swings in points from one week to the next it should be noted that for both offence and defence, 4 of the top 5 teams at the end of last season were also in the top 5 in week 1 of last season.

On the Defensive

Top 5 Defences in 2015:

Champions of the Sun (80 poa)
Tamworth Two (79 poa)
DynaHard (77 poa)
Here Comes the Brees (75 poa)
Dynabummer Blastermensch (75 poa)

Top 5 Defences in Week 1:

DynaHard (115)
Champions of the Sun (90)
Here Comes the Brees (71)
DynaforOne Firebirds (65)
Dynasore Losers (61)

As with Offence we can see the Champions of the Sun holding steady and DynaHard showing improvement for what was already a good unit. Both teams should be encouraged by week 1 of this season and take it as a sign that they can improve on their positions from last season. Worryingly for the rest of the league, the Firebirds have held steady on offence and improved on defence, cracking the top 5 in week 1 when they finished 2015 as the worst defensive unit. This improvement is in no small part due to a big improvement at linebacker where Derrick Johnson’s return seems to have sparked life into the team.

Both the Tamworth Two and the Dynabunny Boostermonks dropped out of the top 5 in week 1. For the Hogs this may not be more than a blip. They scored 61 points on defence, which is a significant drop but it was a quiet week for elite rushers Chandler Jones and Olivier Vernon that should not become the new norm for these players. The Dynaboomer Bustermuffs dropped from 75 points to 39 in week 1, in large part due to a dismal 2.5 point effort from their defensive line of Kyle Williams, Cameron Wake and Mario Williams. Whilst this looks more alarming than the story for the Hogs you can’t look at those three names and say you expect single-digit defensive line performances going forward. The Bambimoons should bounce back next week.

Don’t Be Down on D

Some of you may be looking at your week 1 performances with a frowny face, worrying, particularly, about performance on the defensive side of the ball. With an average score of 64.5 on D this week the league is running at nearly 10 points under the average defensive performance than last year. There’s good news however as defensive point scoring trended up as the season went along last year. In weeks 1 to 5 last season, the average defence scored 65.1 points. In weeks 10 to 14 the average score jumped to 77.1. A lot of defensive positions are volatile, particularly DT, CB and S and it takes a while to pinpoint who the best players on the roster (or the wire) are for the coming season. Chances are that you will see your defences start to pick up more points as the season goes along and getting ahead of that knowledge curve in those volatile positions will help with that.

First to Worst

Now it’s time to overreact! Which units on which teams were good last season and terrible in week 1? Let’s find out.

Champions of the Sun RBs – 2015 rank: 3rd, Week 1 rank: 10th. With Le’Veon Bell and Lagarette Blount suspended, CJ Spiller injured and the Cleveland Cabal traded away it was no surprise to see the Champions rushing attack falter in week 1. Starting only two players for a combined 8.3 points it must have been painful viewing for the Dayman, even if it doesn’t seem to have cost him the win (disclaimer: scoring adjustments on Thursday are likely to make this statement false very shortly).
Dynasore Losers LBs – 2015 rank: 1st, Week 1 rank: 10th. As with the Champions’ rushers above, David Slater can’t have been surprised to see his linebacking corps disintegrate. DeAndre Levy released, Terrell Suggs injured, Tamba Hali another year older and, worst of all, Chris Borland retiring has left the Losers with a makeshift unit heaped on the shoulders of Ryan Kerrigan. It may pick up (to be honest, they scored 8 points between them this week, it couldn’t get worse) but we won’t be seeing the Losers back to the top of the charts at this position this year.
East Flanders Dungeoneers and Dynasty of Sadness Special Teams – 2015 rank: 4th and 3rd, Week 1 rank: 9th and 10th. It’s a sure sign that teams have been focusing their off-season efforts in the wrong places when special teams takes a hit. Despite how commonly acknowledged it is, both Pete Conaghan and Geoffrey Manboob seem to have forgotten that kickers and punters are the lifeblood of the team. If this course is not corrected immediately I foresee a dismal season ahead for both teams.

Last in the Past

Now let’s look at some of the units that have improved vastly over last season based on week 1 performance.

East Flanders Dungeoneers Running Backs – 2015 rank: 10th, Week 1 rank: 2nd. When the Dungeoneers gave up Eddy Lacy for the 2nd pick in the draft it seemed like Pete Conaghan was accepting that sub par was the new par at running back. When he then traded away Lagarette Blount it seemed the white flag was already waving. Little did we know that Carlos Hyde was the second coming of LaDainian Tomlinson. Hyde put up 168 yards and 2 TDs in week 1 against the Vikings. Whilst you might question the sustainability of this, Justin Forsett and Rashad Jennings contributed another 17 points and the unit was only narrowly pipped to #1 by an Ameer Abdullah and Eddy Lacy-led Sadness rushing unit. The Dungeoneers won’t get 47 points from this lot every week but they seem to be in a position to sustain a good performance for the season. They won’t win anything if they don’t sort out their special teams though. Seriously. Sort out your special teams, Pete.
Dynaforone Firebirds Linebackers – 2015 rank: 10th, Week 1 rank: 2nd. Julius Peppers was a lone bright spot for the Firebirds last season at linebacker. This improvement may need to be taken with a pinch of salt as, despite coming 2nd on the week, the Firebirds’ linebackers put up a good week, not a great week. Derrick Johnson is a big plus for them though and Brandon Graham will have better days ahead. The unit is not deep though so an injury in the wrong place or age catching up to Peppers could see the Firebirds dropping back down the rankings again.

That’s it from me for week 1. Theoretically I will be doing more pointless stats in the coming weeks but, realistically, I’ll probably not be bothered.

Guest Previews 2015: Dynasore Losers by Ian Kulkowski

September 3, 2015

Commish

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Welcome to a series of GM-led previews of the various teams of the Dynabowl Fantasy Football League. The opening preview is of the Dynasore Losers, GMed by David Slater and is brought to you by the letters K, U, L, K again, O, S, K for a third time and I.

Dynasore Losers

2014 record
8-5, 1st in Peter. 2nd in Points for, 2nd in Potential Points, 2nd in All play, semi final losers, 3rd place

“Everyone else’s team sucks” & “My way is definitely best” is what Slatz would almost certainly say if he were to write his own preview. Unfortunately looking through the train wreck that is their old, broken roster I can see nothing but pain and heartache ahead for the Losers this season.
But first, let’s try and focus on the positive a bit and see where the Losers have improved from last year…

Improvement
2 words. AP. That’s it. Without the child beating former superstar’s return to the game, this roster would be as dead as the majority of Josh Gordon’s brain cells. Will the return of not-human Peterson be enough to give this team a chance of repeating last year’s success? Whilst Peterson is capable of putting up some ridiculous numbers, even he will probably not be enough to carry this roster back to the playoffs.
Oh the other area of improvement for the Losers is kicker & punter (as described in great detail in the Commissioner’s preview). But so what? They’re kickers & punters.

Regression
Where to begin. Slatz built his roster around a solid aged core with the aforementioned Peterson and QB Peter Manning as lynchpins to the roster. After failing spectacularly during the final 5 weeks of last season there are now serious questions over Peter’s position as stud QB. With Manning potentially dropping down (and maybe out of) the top 10 QBs, this takes the Losers from a position of strength to bunch of middling options.
The addition of Winston (who definitely hasn’t sexually assualted anyone) to accompany Raiders sophomore Carr should provide a good future at the position, but it is likely too early for either of these to help the team too much this year.
There is a similar story at RB. Last years’ star performer (4th ranked overall RB) Forte will turn 30 during the season and is surely hitting the decline phase of his career. Depth at the position is also an issue with the loss of Stewart & Robinson in free agency. There are only 2 NFL starters amongst the RB corps so this is definitely a position which will cause GM Slatz some headaches as the season wears on.
More trouble at WR as the team has lost it’s anchor (and 2nd ranked WR last year) in Jordy Nelson. With Josh Gordon never likely to return the Losers are left with Emmanuel Sanders, Nelson Agholor, Torrey Smith & Larry Fitzgerald as their probable starting WR’s. Hardly the most fearsome foursome. TE also sees a potential downgrade with Graham’s move to Seattle.
On the defensive side of the ball, injuries, free agency and early retirement have left holes in the Losers roster. There are still good starters at most positions but the depth is now near non existent.

Ceiling
If Peter returns to his record breaking best, Adrian has a career year and the Losers find some receivers from somewhere then maybe all is not lost and this team has an outside shot of making the playoffs.
Then again, maybe not!

Floor
The floor’s (thankfully) the limit for the losers this year. If things don’t go their way then avoiding the prized first pick in the 2016 draft could be deemed a success.

Prediction
5-8. A complete reversal of last year and barring some miracle this losers franchise is going nowhere fast. GM Slatz has a big decision on his hands. Does he stick with the plan and try to compete as best he can, or does he sell the family silver and go into full blown rebuild mode.

2015 Commish Preview: Dynasore Losers

August 27, 2015

Commish

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Team: Dynasore Losers – David Slater

2014 Record: 8-5, 8^th pick, defeated in the first round of the playoffs

Significant Additions:

Draft – Nelson Agholor (WR), Jameis Winston (QB), Sammie Coates (WR), Owamagbe Odighizuwa (DE)

Free Agency – none

Trade – none

Significant Losses:

Free Agency – Jonathan Stewart (RB), Joe Flacco (QB), DeAndre Levy (LB), Lewis Kendrick (S)

Trade – Sheldon Richardson (DE)

Preview:

With $12 tied up in punters and kickers, the Losers have nearly three times as much money tied up in the real footballers than any other team, with three players on $3 or more, more than any other foot-based player in the league is receiving.

In 2014, the Losers clocked in 7th in punting points, more than 32 points behind Dyna Hard, the league leaders, and nearly 8 points off the league average. This obviously didn’t go down well in the corridors of Losers Central and so ace negotiators were dispatched with orders to sign Marquette King and Bryan Anger, the Hard punters in 2014, whatever the cost.That cost, as it turned out, was $6, 1% of the total cap and more than any other team is paying for their punters and kickers combined.

Anger has ranked 2nd, 1st and second in his last three years in the league, while King was 7th and then 1st in his two years so far. Loser’s GM David Slater will certainly be hoping that this level of performance continues, though both the Jaguars and the Raiders look to be improving on their performance over the last few years with better QB options and greater depth at receiver and, to a lesser extent, running back. If those offenses can get moving the points available from the punters will tail off and this move will prove to be a year too later.

Things look remarkably similar at kicker where the Losers have seen fit to offer a world record contract to Stephen Gostkowksi at $4 for 3 years with a $1 guarantee. Gostkowksi certainly represents good value for money, having finished 1st, 2nd and 1st over the past three years.

The Losers finished in 6th in terms of kicking points fielded in 2014, another 332 points off the lead where this time it was the Brees who fielded the league leading player the Losers targeted for poaching.

Justin Tucker was given only a $2 contract to back up Gostkowski and with his slowly decreasing perofrmance over the past 3 years you can see why. Tucker has fallen from 3rd to 6th to 9th amongst kickers in total points scored, and you know that the Losers won’t want to be relying on him too often.

Of course, when talking about kickers, one also has to consider what difference the rule changes will make this year. The PAT will now be taken from the 15 yard line where success drops by around 5% compared to the 2 yard line of old. That will mean fewer points available for kickers, with negatives being scored for misses. But in addition it may lead to more 2 point conversion attempts, reducing the scoring opportunities for kickers. As such, the 60 gain the Losers will have targeted may well not be available. All in all, this may have been a move made a year too later.*

Verdict:

There are undoubtedly some stars on this roster but a lack of depth on the offensive side of the ball may hinder the team. The defence certainly has strength but the random nature of defensive scoring means it can’t be counted on to win enough games. If the team gets the rub of the green, they could see a second consecutive run to the playoffs, otherwise it’ll be a case of looking towards the rookies developing to offer enough depth in future seasons. At the end of the day, the difference could lie in whether we see the Peter of 2013 and early 2014 or the Peter that finished 2014.

Prediction:

7-6 and in the mix to win the Division, but perhaps not strong enough to edge a team from Tim for a wild card. Being in the weaker Division means they could rack up enough wins there to mean results against Tim won’t matter and a playoff berth is secured, but I fear the lack of depth will result in a couple of losses due to bye weeks and a shock will come along at some point. At the end of the day they could be the number 2 seed in the playoffs by winning the Division or end up with the 4^th pick in the 2016 draft.

*Fun Fact: If this move had been made last year, and if all those 64 extra points had been scored in week 14, the Losers still wouldn’t have won their playoff semi-final against the Firebirds.

MAX’S STAT BLATS! Week 6