Another year is almost over and in a shocking break from tradition, Coach of the Year is to be announced before the Superb Owl has even begun. Gone are the days of daily reveals of each position in reverse order – I now have a lot more going on in my life – but gone too is the complete inability to do things in a timely fashion. What I’m saying is, a gentle equilibrium has been reached.
Not so in the league, though, I’d suggest. A year of shocks where the number one seed lost to the two lowest scorers, one of whom has made it all the way to the Owl one year after pulling a Cleveland Lions…. I mean Detroit Browns… and failing to win a single game. Also a year where the top scorer in the regular season – a team which had 4 highest weekly scores, 6 double centuries and only scored below league average on 4 occasions – didn’t even make the playoffs.
How do you even judge a season like this? Let’s find out…
So, remember the format? You had 15 points to award, no more, no less. The most you could award one person was 10. You had to give points to at least 3 people. You couldn’t give yourself any points.
For possibly the first time ever, and my God, how grateful am I for this, everyone completed their survey within a week and everyone awarded exactly 15 points to a minimum of three people. Next year, people will be remembering how to do free agency, extensions and waivers, and it will be considered the final sign of the apocalypse.
Anyway, on with the show. In 10th and final place, we have…
10th Place – Geoffrey Manboob – Dynasty of Sadness – 5-9 – 0 points
Oh manboob..it was looking good at the halfway point, 5-4 and well in the hunt then it all fell apart. 5 losses in a row to finish (including one to T2). Classic sadness
This team really is appropriately named.
Shit roster
None
Blah
None
Still bad.
Must be disappointed, or maybe not
Peter!
Honestly, I’m confused as to how this team didn’t do better. On paper it looks pretty strong, though some clear areas of weakness. Feel like, with the right additions, he could be a true competitor next year. But this year ended up stinking.
9th Place – Neil Hawke – Hawkesville Hurricanes – 6-8 – 1 point
This is Neil’s best season, statistically, since he won it all and the path back to winning it all again starts here (disclaimer: I didn’t look at any statistics before making this comment)
Neil was surprisingly competitive for a chunk of the season . Injuries took their toll and ended up a meh season
Outperformed expectations, but not by enough.
Gone to the New Orleans school of cap management. An unhealthy addiction to cornerbacks. I’m confused about the team building strategy. Possibly the only team that could really do with a Goody-esque tank because I’m not sure how it recovers in the short term.
None
Made a Worthy addition to his team in the draft first round
None
While not an awesome team, Neil had high PP, but picked the wrong team most of the time.
Too busy fixing gamepass to care about this?
8th Place – Chris Braithwaite – Dyna Hard – 7-7 – 3 points
That this year is abject failure for Chris makes me furious
Great pick at 1.04 of Brock Bowers
What went wrong? Picking all the wrong players each week. This failure is squarely on the shoulders of the manager.
None
Fatherhood causes shitness
None
Recovered to better than .500 in all play, but a surprisingly weak season, mainly because of the second lowest selection efficiency. Sadly this is unlikely to be the start of a slide into obscurity.
Very disappointing.
Implosion of epic proportions and a lot of bad luck
What the actual fuck! Had far and away the best roster should have been well in his way to the first ever title retention and somehow managed to meh.
=6th Place – James ‘Goody’ Goodson – Tamworth Two – 3-11 – 4 points
Incredible tank-job, five stars.
this is what happens when you don’t cheat
That is how you tank! Bought no one in fa to ensure roster was weak as possible. Did the bare minimum week in week out. Still managed 3 wins (2 of them against playoff teams)
None – Slatz will do that
Feels like the year went exactly how they wanted it to, including an elite option appearing for the #1 pick.
None
Utter shite.
Meltdown this season. Not sure what’s happened to these two.
Playing for picks
Awful. Made the decision to tank by not spending in free agency, but hasn’t set himself up to carry over much cap space. All-play almost as bad as the 0-14 Dungeoneers. Pointless to do it because so much more is needed than a high draft pick to turn this around. Slatz went through this process and arguably ended up with a few great players but it took so long to get there and wouldn’t have worked without some good free agency and everything else. So many things have to go right and the risk is leaving yourself mired. Maybe it works and I’ll be eating my words, but it can’t be fun, and it’s so risky.
=6th Place – Ian Kulkowski – Kelkowski Don’t Play By No Dyna Rules – 6-8 – 4 points
It’s good to try something new, and tanking while being the best scoring team in the league was definitely novel.
I cannot condone the instability that Iran causes in the middle east
A down year for one of the most consistent franchises. Look out next year
None
Very unlucky not to be in the playoffs conversation
None
Probably slightly outperformed expectations? Average, rather than mediocre.
Up and down this season, and some unlucky results.
High scoring, decent all-play. Strange decision to sell off players when still in the hunt and with a decent roster, but I don’t think the players sold would have tipped the balance in the end. Still, not convinced by the tactics and can’t have pleased the fans, who, I heard, flew a banner over the stadium questioning Ian’s judgement.
A fine team and gentleman
5th Place – Max Cubberley – Champions of the Sun – 7-7 – 9 points
Mixed thoughts on the champions. Didn’t give them a hope at the start after not bothering with free agency until everyone had gone. Still remained competitive as they do every year. Top scorer, 2nd in all play. No playoffs
Decent season. Probably deserved the fourth playoff spot
Probably just unlucky.
Gets a pity point for missing out on the playoffs despite a strong regular season where he finished with most points scored.
Surprisingly competent
Choke masters
Really great seeing his team perform so well
None
Was unlucky not to be in the playoffs and not to have had a better record
Unlucky. A really good season for someone paying no attention to the sport. Deserved a place in the playoffs.
4th Place – Ben Archer and Stew Carter – Here Come The Brees – 8-6 – 14 points
One of the strongest looking rosters pre season but turned out they’re just stacked at wr and struggling everywhere else. 3rd lowest scoring defense held them back
Made the play-offs despite injury woes.
Competent from Stew
I feel like they have been somewhere in the Bucs/Vikings/Packers level for a while. Good enough to make the playoffs, not good enough to do much.
The historical “best team in Peter” continue their tradition of mediocrity and that being good enough to challenge for the playoffs
None
An exciting end to the season and sneaking a playoff berth. Under .500 in all play despite by far the best WR lineup in the league. Should have been better really. Weak defense is what did it for them, little star power, little depth. Very disappointing at DT, after Ben’s modelling had identified players so well in the past. Be interesting to see the work they do in the offseason.
None
Made the post season again. Nice job
Eventually they’ll realise that having a bunch of back up RBs is not a strategy.
3rd Place – David Slater – Dynasore Losers – 9-5 – 35 points
They feel like a good team but also like they will just go as far as Saquon takes them. A non-elite week from him probably spells doom.
Been a good season, and he’s dangerous on any given week
Strong all round team
Another playoff appearance and no doubt another final defeat. Slats will never ever win it all
Superb WW pick ups
Well done for not successfully trading Saquon
Looked like he was the number one seed but threw it away in the last week. Still the favourite for the title at this stage in my book. More consistently high, especially towards the end of the season after some troubling times early on. At risk of achieving a three-quarter Buffalo. Could they become the Buffalosers?
None
The “Saquon Barkley” team crushed despite an over-reliance on one player
2nd Place – Adam Earle – East Flanders Dungeoneers – 9-5 – 38 points
2nd lowest scorer (and potential scorer), 2nd lowest all play, wafer thin roster. Didn’t make any waiver requests until November (when it was pointed out to him), then made 3 in 1 week and 1 more the rest of the year. Comfortably makes the playoffs. Well done guys you absolutely suck!
Silks purse from a sows ear
I mean, he’s definitely benefitted from some luck and it’s not based on nailing draft picks or free agency, so I’m not sure what he’s done differently to get better results. But it’s been better.
Like your favourite sports film where the rag tag group of youngsters, lead by Emilio Estevez, turns the team around mid-season, to the surprise of the evil team’s coach and Emilio Estevez’s previous mentor, only to lose to them in the play-offs, but earn their respect and learn that the lesson all along was team work and family.
Gwan son!
Let’s be honest, not deserving of a spot in the playoffs, but the dumb luck in the schedule has put him there. However, he gets 3 points. Going from .135 to .405 in regular season all-play is a good step up. Some decent wins. Some decent draft picks. It’s a decent step in the right direction and shows the franchise may be in safe hands. Now, if he beats the Losers in the semis he can have the points I’ve given Slatz.
Did better than I thought
A great recovery. Really commendable to come from where they were last year.
What else can you say? Made the playoffs after the vortex of Pete leaving. Bravo. Despite still feeling his way around the league
They’ve been objectively bad but keep winning. The Chiefs of the Dynabowl.
1st Place – Benjamin Hendy – 10-4 – 42 points
Best record, 3rd most points scored, best all-play.
Ben had some bad luck in the early years of the Dynabowl but the chickens are all coming home to roost now or something
Dominated Tim to cruise to division title. 3-3 against Peter though so in trouble in the playoffs
Superb season. But I think a little lucky to win the number of games
#1 seed and all-play leader. Decent all round team. Perhaps not the star power at traditionally key positions and an odd decision on Moss in the off-season, but rode that out. Probably the only hope against the evil empire.
Commish, commish-ing good and hard
None
Strong season again. Can’t help but think Coach Hendy is building something big
Very good team. Should win it all
#1 seed, #1 all play. Can’t really argue with that.
Overall Table
| Position | Coach(es) | Points |
| 1st | Benjamin Hendy | 42 |
| 2nd | Adam Earle | 38 |
| 3rd | David Slater | 35 |
| 4th | Ben Archer & Stew Carter | 14 |
| 5th | Max Cubberley | 9 |
| =6th | Ian Kulkowski | 4 |
| =6th | James ‘Goody’ Goodson | 4 |
| 8th | Chris Braithwaite | 3 |
| 9th | Neil Hawke | 1 |
| 10th | Geoffrey Manboob | 0 |
A Brief Statement
I am both proud and grateful to have received your votes for coach of the year. As mentioned above, this has felt like a strange year, and I have never gone into games feeling especially confident, which continues into the final. Some years, the scores each week can feel inevitable (from your own team, or someone else’s) but not this year. We missed COTY in 2018 (which would clearly have been Pete) and 2021 (which I’m pretty certain would have been Ian), but this is a year when it (or the voting) probably could have gone missing and no one would have noticed. Still, once the voting opened, someone had to win it and if you think I’m not having an open top bus parade with the COTY Championship Belt you’re sorely mistaken.
Right, on with the other stuff.
The National Football League Season
Highest high?
Saquon’s reverse hurdle
Seeing Daniels excel
I haven’t watched much NFL so the Jayden Daniels hail Mary Vs Chicago
Daniel’s hail mary
Commanders winning. It’s been a long time
I haven’t watched much
The Lions. Just in general
It’s all been good
Not really a moment, but the continued shitness of Qaron has been fun.
That time Rodgers got intercepted and returned for a 90+ yard pick six by a 300lb man.
Lowest low?
Tom Brady on the mic.
See previous (‘I haven’t watched much’)
Austin Seifert missing the game tying fg Vs Dallas
Tua’s concussion. Yuk
Tua. Getting the concussion and then him coming back.
No complaints
No idea.
Every poor officiating choice (so a lot)
Aaron Rodgers’ hug rejection
Chiefs somehow winning every week despite being very average. Reminds me of the pats
Anything else?
Gamepass on DAZN is still fucking trash
There are a lot of bad teams.
Zebras and their poor decisions/lack of resolution by NFL
New KO is good enjoy that
Detroit, all the time
Loving the Lions being good
I find all of the uniform variants very annoying. Colour rush can fuck right off!
Super Bowl match-up and winner?
Eagles beat Steelers
The eagles and the chiefs, the eagles will win
Chiefs V Lions, Lions to win
Lions v Chiefs (as usual, some don’t nominate a winner)
Buffalo v Detroit
Lions v Bills
I backed the bills and lions a month or so ago and I’m sticking to that. Bills to win
My team is unlikely to make it, so my choice of the likely possibilities is Bills/Lions and I’ll say Bills win.
Bills v Lions – Bills to win It all
Bills v Eagles. Bills win finally win it.
Onto real football… the Dynabowl!
Match-up and winner of the Owl, please.
Losers will beat Bombermen
Losers beat Bombermen
Losers over Bombermen
Losers v Bombermen, Bombermen
Ben (H) over Slatz
Ben to win, playing Slatz
Could it be Adam? No, I can’t bring myself to say it. Slate can never win so it can only be Benj or Ben/stew. I’ll go for Ben/stew.
Dungeoneers versus Bombermen
The Cinderella story will continue: Dungeoneers will beat the Bombermen
Bombermen V Dungeoneers – Bombermen to win
So 6 for a Losers/Bombermen final, split down the middle for the winner, three called the actual final, also somehow split down the middle, and one incredibly rash call for the Brees.
Best of the Dynabowl
The improbable rise of the dungeoneers
Dungeoneers making the playoffs.
Adam’s phoenix like rise
Adam’s remarkable playoff appearance against all odds
Adam’s run from worst to possibly first while still being objectively shit has been great.
Adam winning games
Adam defying the odds. It’ll never be this good again.
Adam resurrecting the Dungeoneers
The rebirth of the Dungeoneers, somehow
TT beating the mighty Bomberman
And the worst of the Dynabowl?
The moment when Saquon sets off on another long TD to give Slatz a win.
Dungeoneers making the playoffs – I’ll never be able to repeat this performance.
Slatz continued dominance of Peter. Goody’s misguided tank (I don’t think tanking is worth it – the draft is less transformative than the NFL one has the possibility of being and rebuilding on the fly is eminently possible. Chris has been competitive the whole time, pretty much).
All the hate from Tim
Slatz constantly bleating on TT’s awful season. He should know. Game recognising game.
That one week where 5 of my players got injured in the first quarter
All the injuries
Week 12 & 14 byes. Absolutely killed me
Having a Saturday waiver deadline at 3pm???? (submit a rule change request then – ah, not long until that sweet, sweet rule mongering season again, when we can all argue about the best way to debate the rules and then not actually really debate anything, and forget what rules we’ve agreed to when it comes round to time to actually implement them)
AOB?
I think it’s been a weak year. No team has been great, just variations on average. And Goody.
It feels like this year has been far less predictable and far more PLOB-filled than other years.
Incredible work once again by Benj. My life wouldn’t be the same without him. I think Chris did a bit a some point too. And maybe slats. Massive thanks to all involved!
Peter forever!
Poor old Mike
Dyanbowl MVP
6 – Saquon Barkley
1 each – TJ Watt, Ja’Marr Chase, Lamar Jackson, Josh Allen
Rookie of the Year
4 – Brock Bowers, Jayden Daniels
1 – Jared Verse, Bo Nix
Pre-Season Free Agent Signing
Baker. QB5 for a buck? Yes please
Probably just me but I couldn’t see an easy list of who was signed in free agency this year so I don’t know
George Kittle
Can’t really pick one out
No idea
No idea
I have no idea
I honestly can’t recall who were FA signings. Was Derrick Henry? If so, him.
Mind has gone blank, but not Devin Singletary
Derrick Henry. I should have had the courage of my convictions and kept bidding.
Looks like it’s Derrick Henry then…
In-Season Free Agent Signing
Andrew Van Ginkel
Van Grinkle
Van Ginkel, but Slatz should be recognised for his brilliant FA signings
Does chubba Hubbard count? If not can ginkel
Zack Baun
Sam Darnold, QB MIN
Cam Heyward. A playable DT is one thing. The second top scorer at the position, nearly double the 20th (last starter), off waivers for $1 is a bargain.
Zack Baun
Mind has gone blank, but not Devin Singletary
No idea
Van Ginkel/Grinkle, Can Ginkel it is then…
Best Draft Pick
Brock Bowers. The hit rate of a rookie TE suggests Chris has justified trading up
Brock Bowers
Brock Bowers at 1.04
Bowers
Jayden Daniels
Jayden Daniels
Hard to look past Jayden Daniels. But Bo Nix is probably best value.
Bo Nix
Bucky Irving
Jared Verse. For position taken in the draft, he’s given the best return.
So 4 for Bowers, 2.5 for Daniels, 1.5 for Nix, and one for Irving and Verse.
What is success in the Dynabowl?
Winning it all
Either winning it all or being really shit
Winning the thing?
Winning it all and if not, a winning record
1) Winning titles 2) consistently making the playoffs. Titles are what it’s about but have a large dollop of luck. Getting to the playoffs consistently is more of a skill (or just being in Peter).
Working out waivers
Competing every year (and winning occasionally). I mean having fun of course
Being competitive year in year out. At the end of the day, there’s too much randomness to have real control over the degree of your success, so consistently pushing for the playoffs, having a chance to win it with a few helpful bounces of the ball is what we’re all aiming for.
Making the play-offs
Being the subject of Slatz analysis. You’re doing something right if he has a problem with it
I say, here’s fun…
Resuscitating the riff on player name / TV show puns
???
I’ve got nothing. I shall have no memory of this discussion!
I don’t remember this and am blanking on what I’m supposed to do. I’m excited to see others entries. Jordan Love Island? Is it that kind of thing? Bo Nix Selecta? Zach Baun Identity? Yes, it’s a movie, but that’s OK right? Mahomes Under The Hammer? Candid Kamara? Toast of Drake London?
Amon-Ra St Brown’s Boys
(Thomas) Morstead and (Jordan) Whitehead gone (Braden) Fiske-ing
Rome Wasn’t Built In Odunze: Bears WR Rome Odunze helps southside disenfranchised families build new lives
Nabers – set in a fictional gated community suburb of New York, the members of the NY Giants take part in a scripted reality soap.
Williams, Quincy, M.E
Brock Bowers Rangers. Brock dresses up with to fight crime and defeat baddies
Estime company. Rookie RB audric spends an evening with a different member of the elite each week. Much hilarity ensues
OK, I got it by the end… Do you want a Discord channel for this?
Popular Culture
What’s the best (new) film you saw this year?
Haven’t seen any
Genuinely can’t think of a new film I watched this year!
The Beasts (it’s from 2022), but was the best thing I saw
Wild Robot
The only 2 new films I’ve seen are wish and despicable me 4. The latter is the best
Not enough of them but I’ll say The Wild Robot. Recency bias. But I didn’t see things like The Substance, which I think I’d have loved.
Hit man
Beetlejuice Beetlejuice
I haven’t actually watched that many. Either Poor Things or the Jake Gyllenhaal Roadhouse
I think Woman of the Hour is the only children’s film I’ve seen this year (OK – I have questions. Let’s start with, if that’s a children’s film, what do you think is aimed at adults? And while I’ve got you distracted with that I’ll be calling in social services)
What’s the best TV show you saw this year?
Ludwig
Ludwig
How to With John Wilson
The Penguin
Let’s set Taskmaster aside, though the Zaltz-triumph was a highlight. And Slow Horses was doing the poor 4th book, so not that. Rivals, probably. Great fun.
Slow horses
There were a couple of series we watched but can’t remember them now. Taskmaster
Both very different but I’ll edge Ripley over Fallout
For All Mankind
Shogun
Best book you read?
N/A
Not been a big reading year so I’ll go with The Twyford Code because I definitely read it this year
I read 1 book on holiday called Listen for the Lie. It was pretty good
The Bible
Far from the madding crowd
If I Let You Go by Charlotte Levin. Great writer. Her first novel is a cracker too.
Cuckooland
Spirit Level
Dungeon Crawler Carl series.
Seven Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle
Best album you bought / streamed this year?
I didn’t
Petrodraconic Apocalypse by King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard.
King Gizzard and the Wizard Lizard – Flight b741
Blood Command – World Domination
Vampire weekend
Friend of a Phantom by VOLA
I discovered the Lottery Winners. I know they’re popular, I’m just old and don’t find new stuff much. Anyway, their latest album is very good.
Sleep Token – Take Me Back To Eden
Same Mistake Twice
Crazymad, for me by Cmat
Best game (video or board) released or, at a push, discovered by you this year?
N/A
Inventions or Lords of Vegas. The former is a new one from Vital Lacerda and is one of his best (that I’ve played). The latter is a re-release (though tweaked) and is a lot of fun with randomness sprinkled througout.
Not sure. I bought a new console for the first time in 8 years so just getting my head around it
7 Wonders. No idea how I hadn’t played it until now.
Evenfall (board game)
Rise of the Golden Idol
Rebirth
Dune Imperium Uprising
Played very few games this year. Not sure what’s happened. I think Earth was quite good
Dave The Diver
Best podcast that was new to you this year?
N/a
I don’t listen to podcasts.
Things Fell Apart (2) by Jon Ronson
Price of football. The list of rivals is not extensive though and mostly Everton related
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers podcast
Uncensored CMO
Tortoise Media’s Sweet Bobby podcast
I’m not a monster – The Shamima Begum Story
Off Menu
I think I discovered The Rest is Entertainment this year (it may have started this year). So that. It’s a must listen now.
The worst thing in popular culture right now is…?
Elon.
Anything Elon Musk related
X
Culture Wars!
Tik Tok
I dunno, each to their own, live and let live etc
Michael McIntyre
Everything being a spin off or adaptation and not enough genuinely new things.
New slang. Based, no cap etc. I’m getting old, and I don’t like it.
The increasing inability to spell or write proper sentences. God I’m so old
Anything I should have asked and didn’t?
Nope
N/a
What about asking about the best question that you should ask next time?
I think we’re good
Probably not. Though I probably should have put this question after the last page of questions, shouldn’t I?
None. Not saying you should ask none, but there are no more to ask
None?
Nope.
No
Nope, all good
Binary Choices!
Yes, yes, we’re all non-binary now, but I asked you some binary questions. Except for one. That was ternary. So here are the answers…
And now I’ll leave you with two thoughts:
1) Doing this made me think I should collate together all the COTY results into a summary page, a bit like the records page. So look out for that.
2) 2 of your fellow GMs lean to the armpit over the foot. I don’t know what to make of that.