MAX’S STAT BLATS! – Week Seven

In last week’s Stat Blat, whilst looking at the Dynablaster Bombermen, I noted that their defensive line had been an area of weakness but something they’d addressed already with the trade for Aaron Donald. Well, this week the Dynablaster Bombermen’s defensive line scored 75.5 points on their own. That got me wondering about the highest and lowest performances from each positional group through both seasons so far. Was 75.5 a record high for a defensive line? Surely it must be! Read on to find out.

Note: Week 17 of the 2014 season was not included when collating these results.

QB

Highest:

1 Firebirds 37.12 S1 W7 Rusty Wilson
2 Tamworth Two 36.6 S1 W10 Aaron Rodgers
3 Firebirds 36.36 S1 W16 Rusty Wilson
4 Tamworth Two 34.92 S2 W3 Aaron Rodgers
5 Firebirds 34.24 S1 W5 Rusty Wilson

 

The running here are obviously dominated by God’s chosen QB (Wilson) and the Arm of the Doubtful (Rodgers). It’s a classic battle between good and evil.

Lowest:

1 Sadness 0.00 S1 W1 “Fuck You” Cam Newton
2 Breeses 0.36 S1 W16 Andrew Luck
3 Dungeoneers 1.84 S2 W5 Nick “Cunt” Foles
4 Sadness 2.62 S1 W6 Teddy Bridgewater
5 Losers 2.72 S1 W14 Peter Manning

 

Fun fact: In week 14 of season 1, David left Andy Dalton (26.28 points), Joe Flacco (24.36 points) and Derek Carr (22.36 points) on the bench in favour of Peter (2.72 points). Now, kids, that is how you PLOB yourself right up. For those of you wondering, Andrew Luck did not leave that game injured. He threw for just over 100 yards with 0 TDs and 2 interceptions. Impressive stuff.

RB

Highest

1 Breeses 74.2 S2 W5 Isaiah Crowell, Devonta Freeman, Doug Martin
2 Breeses 65.6 S2 W7 Devonta Freeman, Doug Martin, Lamar Miller
3 Firebirds 61.8 S1 W16 CJ Anderson, Jeremy Hill, Marshawn Lynch
4 Tamworth Two 61.6 S2 W6 Chris Ivory, LeSean McCoy, Jonathan Stewart
5 Champions 61.4 S1 W14 Le’veon Bell, Isaiah Crowell, Latavius Murray

 

Come on, who saw that coming at the start of the year? Who also saw Isaiah Crowell and Doug Martin each appearing in 2 of the 5 best RB performances of the Dynabowl so far…

Lowest

1 Dungeoneers 5.625 S1 W9 LaGarette Blount, Branden Oliver
2 Firebirds 7.3 S1 W6 Chris Johnson, Marshawn Lynch
3 Breeses 8.2 S2 W3 Isaiah Crowell, Doug Martin
4 Champions 8.3 S2 W1 Latavius Murray, Damien Williams
5 Firebirds 8.4 S1 W8 Chris Johnson, Marshawn Lynch

 

Crowell, Martin, Latavius Murray and Marshawn Lynch have the distinction of being in both the best and the worst RB groups. If I was better at this I’d probably give you some analysis right now. Here’s what I got: blah blah blah analysis blah blah best-selling book Fantasy Life blah blah analysis blah state-the-obvious.

WR/TE

Highest:

1 Kelkowski 109 S1 W1 Randall Cobb, Calvin Johnson, Jeremy Maclin, Cor!Darelle Patterson, Jordan Cameron, Julius Thomas
2 Losers 93.3 S1 W10 Larry Fitzgerald, Jordy Nelson, Emmanuel Sanders, Torrey Smith, Larry Donnell, Jimmy Graham
3 Kelkowski 91.5 S1 W2 Randall Cobb, Calvin Johnson, Jeremy Maclin, Cor!Darelle Patterson, Julius Thomas, Delanie Walker
4 Firebirds 91 S1 W8 TY Hilton, Julio Jones, Eddie Royal, Demaryius Thomas, Antonio Gates, Rob Gronkowski
5 Firebirds 89.7 S1 W6 TY Hilton, Julio Jones, Mohammed Sanu, Demaryius Thomas, Antonio Gates, Rob Gronkowski

 

We still love you Cor! Darelle! The passing game has never been better than those heady days of the first weeks of the Dynabowl. What a glorious time that was! It just goes to show, it’s a running league.

Lowest:

1 Breeses 12.1 S2 W1 DeSean Jackson, Charles Johnson, Steve Smith Sr., Terrance Williams, Owen Daniels
2 Dungeoneers 14.25 S1 W14 Keenan Allen, Andre Johnson, Brandon Marshall, Kenny Stills, Kyle Rudolph, Jason Witten
3 Breeses 14.4 S1 W9 Dwayne Bowe, Pierre Garcon, Andrew Hawkins, Steve Smith Sr., Zach Ertz
4 DynaHarder 17 S1 W12 Kenny Britt, Julian Edelman, Cecil Shorts III, Sammy Watkins, Jace Amaro
5 Dungeoneers 18.1 S2 W5 Keenan Allen, Amari Cooper, Michael Floyd, Reuben Randle, Coby Fleener

 

Tough reading for fans of the Brees and the Dungeoneers. Probably not surprising reading though.

SPEC

Highest:

1 Dungeoneers 23.6 S2 W4 Cairo Santos, Andy Lee
2 Sadness 22.725 S1 W9 Adam Vinatieri, Shane Lechler
3 DynaHarder 21.3 S1 W11 Mason Crosby, Marquette King
4 Breeses 21.2 S1 W10 Matt Bryant, Brett Kern
5 Dungeoneers 20.475 S1 W12 Cody Parkey, Mike Scifres

 

Lowest:

1 Dungeoneers 1.65 S1 W14 Cody Parkey, Mike Scifres
2 Dungeoneers 3 S1 W4 Cody Parkey, Pat O’Donnell
3 Losers 3.3 S1 W16 Justin Tucker, Donnie Jones
4 Champions 3.95 S1 W6 Shaun Suisham, Brad Nortman
5 Firebirds 4 S1 W8 Dan Bailey, Tim Masthay

 

The Dungeoneers showing that famed consistency hear by having two of the best scoring special teams units and two of the worst. I like that Parkey and Scifres put up over 20 points in week 12 and then under 2 in week 14. Absolute gangbusters.

DL

Highest:

1 Bombermen 75.5 S2 W7 Aaron Donald, Haloti Ngata, Cameron Wake, Mario Williams
2 Breeses 69.5 S1 W10 Marcell Dareus, Aaron Donald, Michael Bennett, Cameron Jordan
3 Kelkowski 58.75 S1 W7 Nick Fairley, Everson Griffen, DeMarcus Ware
4 DynaHarder 55.35 S1 W13 Jonathan Hankins, Ezekiel Ansah, JJ Watt
5 Champions 50.5 S1 W8 Tom Johnson, Robert Quinn, Cameron Wake

 

Well, there’s the answer to your question. Yes, the Bombermen’s score on the line this week was the highest ever. By a comfortable margin too. The players on that top 5 read very much like a who’s who of defensive line talent, it’s not difficult to see why these guys scored like they did. Plus Tom Johnson’s there too. Good old Tom Johnson. Who’s Tom Johnson?

Lowest:

1 Dungeoneers 1.25 S2 W3 Tyrone Crawford, Demarcus Lawrence, Stephen Paea
2= Sadness 1.5 S2 W1 Sharrif Floyd, Damontre Moore, Devin Taylor
2= Sadness 1.5 S1 W1 Michael Brockers, Jared Allen, Calais Campbell
4 Champions 1.75 S1 W4 Steve McClendon, Mike Daniels, Cameron Wake
5 Bombermen 2.5 S2 W1 Kyle Williams, Cameron Wake, Mario Williams

 

A round of applause for the Dynasty of Sadness in managed to fashion a tie for 2nd place in the worst D-line performances of all time. Mike and Mark certainly know how to get their defence off to a strong start to the year. Looking at the players in these units it’s very noticeable that one of these is not like the other. 2.5 points for the Williams twins and Cameron Wake would have been unthinkable last season.

LB

Highest:

1 Champions 63.25 S1 W8 Anthony Barr, Jamie Collins, Justin Houston, Wesley Woodyard
2 DynaHarder 57.55 S1 W5 Von Miller, CJ Mosley, Alec Ogletree, Jason Worilds
3 Kelkowski 55.8 S2 W6 Stephone Anthony, Karlos Dansby, D’Qwell Jackson, Brandon Marshall
4 Champions 55.5 S2 W6 Anthony Barr, Shaq Barrett, Jamie Collins, Justin Houston
5 Champions 53.95 S1 W4 Anthony Barr, Justin Houston, Khalil Mack, Wesley Woodyard

 

It’s like no-one believed me when I said linebacker was the most important fantasy position.

Lowest:

1 Losers 1.25 S2 W3 Ryan Kerrigan, Paul Kruger, Alex Okafor
2 Bombermen 3.5 S2 W7 Connor Barwin, Elvis Dumervil, Sean Lee
3 Firebirds 5 S1 W4 Mason Foster, Julius Peppers, Lawrence Timmons
4 Firebirds 5.75 S1 W3 Mason Foster, Manti Te’o, Lawrence Timmons
5 Dungeoneers 6.25 S1 W8 Connor Barwin, Dwight Freeney, KJ Wright

 

I seriously don’t know who Mason Foster is. If this week’s Stat Blat has made me realise anything it’s quite how bad Neil’s team was at the start of last season. What a tremendous rags to riches story his Dynabowl triumph was. Someone should film that. With Paul Giamatti playing Neil.

DB

Highest:

1 Bombermen 76.45 S1 W10 Casey Hayward, Bradley Roby, Ha-Ha Clinton-Dix, James Ihedigbo
2 Bombermen 73.2 S2 W4 Stephon Gilmore, Bradley Roby, Corey Graham, TJ Ward
3 Sadness 59.75 S2 W3 William Gay, Jerraud Powers, Eric Berry, Tyrann Mathieu
4 Kelkowski 58 S2 W3 Janoris Jenkins, Jimmy Smith, Mike Adams, Malcolm Jenkins
5 Kelkowski 57.55 S1 W13 Janoris Jenkins, Devin McCourty, Mike Adams, Rashad Johnson

 

The fact that the Bombermen and Kelkowski each have 2 entries here somewhat belies my theory that DB scoring is entirely random. Note that the presence of more season 2 scores in this entry than others is likely influenced by the point increased for Defended Passes this season.

Lowest:

1 DynaHarder 3.75 S1 W7 Patrick Peterson, Sam Shields, Deone Bucannon, Jonathan Cyprien
2 Sadness 4.5 S1 W10 Travis Carrie, Kyle Fuller, Eric Berry, Tyrann Mathieu
3 Dungeoneers 5 S1 W11 Vontae Davis, Chris Harris, George Iloka, Rahim Moore
4= Losers 6 S1 W4 Darius Butler, Logan Ryan, Chris Conte, Glover Quin
4= DynaHarder 6 S1 W13 Antoine Cason, Patrick Peterson, Micah Hyde, Eric Reid

 

I can’t help but think that at least three of those entries would make pretty good real-life secondaries. That’s fantasy football for you, I guess.

OFF

Highest:

1 Losers 177.205 S1 W4
2 Kelkowski 165.36 S1 W8
3 Firebirds 164.34 S1 W5
4 Losers 164.21 S2 W2
5 Firebirds 161.62 S1 W14

 

Lowest:

1 Dungeoneers 52.7 S1 W14
2 Sadness 54.97 S1 W11
3 Breeses 58.345 S2 W1
4 Bombermen 62.19 S2 W7
5 Dungeoneers 64.965 S2 W5

 

DEF

Highest:

1 Kelkowski 143.6 S1 W13
2 Tamworth Two 142.05 S2 W6
3 Bombermen 130.95 S1 W10
4 Champions 129.25 S1 W8
5 Firebirds 126.55 S1 W16

 

Lowest:

1 Firebirds 26.75 S1 W1
2 Tamworth Two 27 S1 W16
3 Dungeoneers 32.25 S1 W11
4 Sadness 35 S1 W10
5 Kelkowski 36.5 S1 W14

 

MAX’S STAT BLATS! Week 6

It’s the start of week 7 of the 2015 NFL season which is, near as dammit, halfway through the fantasy NFL season so, this week, Stat Blats will look at positional groupings in the DynaBowl to breakdown which parts of your team are riding high and which are down in the dumps. I’ll start with the raw data, then do a team-by-team breakdown, looking at the season so far with some slipshod analysis. You’re welcome. You’re all so very welcome.

Quarterback

Team Starters Average
1 Tamworth Two Rodgers, Palmer 21.76
2 Dynaforone Firebirds Wilson, Rivers 18.28
3 DynaHarder E. Manning, Mariota, Stafford 18.03
4 Champions of the Sun Roethlisberger, Palmer 17.57
5 Kelkowski Bortles, Kaepernick, Romo 17.43
6 Here Comes the Brees Brady, Luck 16.77
7 East Flanders Dungeoneers Newton, Tannehill, Foles 16.61
8 Dynablaster Bombermen Ryan 16.21
9 Dynasore Losers Dalton, P. Manning 15.32
10 Dynasty of Sadness Brees, Bridgewater 11.80

 

Running Backs

For sections under flex consideration I have worked out the average number of starters in each position over the first 6 weeks and divided the average by that number. This produces an average score per player you start at that position, not favouring teams that start more players in one position.

1 Dynasore Losers Forte, Peterson, Lewis (3 starters (2.5 av)) 34.27

(13.71)

2 Here Comes the Brees Freeman, Martin, Crowell, Miller (4 starters (2.83 av)) 37.05

(13.09)

3 Champions of the Sun L. Bell, L. Murray, Rawls, Da. Williams, Spiller (5 starters (2.17 av) 24.95

(11.5)

4 Tamworth Two Ivory, Du. Johnson, McCoy, McFadden, Stewart, K. Williams, A. Williams (7 starters (3 av)) 32.30

(10.77)

5 Kelkowski Blue, Foster, Ingram, D. Murray, Yeldon (5 starters (3 av)) 31.72

(10.57)

6 DynaHarder Charles, Morris, Randle, Sankey, Gurley (5 starters (3 av)) 31.11

(10.37)

7 East Flanders Dungeoneers Forsett, Woodhead, Hyde, Jennings (4 starters (3 av)) 28.05

(9.35)

8 Dynasty of Sadness Abdullah, Blount, M. Jones, Lacy, Vereen, De. Williams (6 starters (3 av)) 26.73

(8.91)

9 Dynablaster Bombermen Bernard, Ellington, Gordon, J. Hill, Da. Johnson (5 starters (3 av)) 25.96

(8.65)

10 Dynaforone Firebirds Anderson, Gore, C. Johnson, Lynch (4 starters (2.83 av)) 19.38

(6.85)

 

Receivers (WRs and TEs)

1 Dynaforone Firebirds Colston, Edelman, Ju. Jones, Royal, Thomas, Bennett, Clay, Gates, Gronkowski (9 starters (5.17 av)) 60.84

(11.77)

2 Dynasore Losers Agholor, Fitzgerald, Ja. Jones, Moncrief, Sanders, T. Smith, Donnell, Graham (8 starters (5.5 av)) 57.15

(10.39)

3 Kelkowski Baldwin, Cobb, Ca. Johnson, Maclin, Barnidge, Witten (6 starters (5 av)) 48.38

(9.68)

4 Champions of the Sun J. Brown, Evans, Hankerson, Harvin, Hopkins, Robinson, White, Kelce, Reed, Walker (10 starters (5.83 av)) 54.45

(9.34)

5 Dynablaster Bombermen Boldin, Cooks, A. Green, A. Johnson, Matthews, Shorts, Olsen, Sefarian-Jenkins (8 starters (5 av)) 44.47

(8.89)

6 Dynasty of Sadness Beckham, D. Bryant, Crowder, Decker, Ginn, Tate, Wheaton, Allen, Chandler, Escobar, L. Green (11 starters (5 av)) 41.71

(8.34)

7 East Flanders Dungeoneers Adams, Allen, Cooper, Mi. Floyd, S. Johnson, Marshall, Randle, Stills, Fleener, Rudolph (10 starters (5 av)) 41.17

(8.23)

8 DynaHarder Austin, A. Brown, Hilton, Hurns, M. Jones, Watkins, Wright, Bennett, Cook (9 starters (5 av)) 40.33

(8.07)

9 Tamworth Two Coleman, Crabtree, V. Jackson, Jeffery, Landry, Snead, Wallace, Ebron, Rodgers (9 starters (5 av)) 39.48

(7.90)

10 Here Comes the Brees Benjamin, Garcon, D. Jackson, Ch. Johnson, S. Smith Sr., T. Williams, Daniels, Eifert, Ertz (9 starters (5.17 av)) 39.00

(7.54)

 

Special Teams

1 Dynasore Losers Gostkowski, Tucker, Anger, King 16.86

(8.43)

2 DynaHarder Bryant, McManus, Hekker, Pinion 15.30

(7.65)

3 Dynablaster Bombermen Brown, Schmidt 14.58

(7.29)

4 Champions of the Sun Catanzaro, McAfee, D. Colquitt 13.48

(6.74)

5 East Flanders Dungeoneers Parkey, Santos, Lee 12.56

(6.28)

6 Dynaforone Firebirds Crosby, Koch 12.51

(6.26)

7 Dynasty of Sadness Hauschka, Vinatieri, Lechler 11.91

(5.96)

8 Here Comes the Brees Gano, Jones, Kern 10.91

(5.46)

9 Tamworth Two Carpenter, Coons, Butler, McAfee 10.42

(5.21)

10 Kelkowski Prater, Gould, Huber, Martin 9.53

(4.77)

 

Defensive Line

1 Tamworth Two McCoy, McDonald, Short, C. Jones, Tuitt, Vernon (3.33 av) 29.67

(8.91)

2 Here Comes the Brees Donald, Howard, Bennett, Cox, Jordan (3.17 av) 27.88

(8.79)

3 DynaHarder Hankins, Harrison, B. Williams, Ansah, Watt (3.17 av) 26.58

(8.38)

4 Champions of the Sun Dareus, Mitchell, Campbell, Carradine, Quinn, Vernon (3 av) 24.54

(8.18)

5 Dynasore Losers Babineaux, Phillips, Siliga, T. Walker, S. Williams, Dunlap, Hughes, Wilkerson (3.33 av) 19.67

(5.91)

6 Dynasty of Sadness Brockers, Floyd, Joseph, J. Allen, Bailey, Clayborn, Moore, Richardson, Taylor (3 av) 16.38

(5.46)

7 Dynaforone Firebirds Atkins, Suh, Edwards, Gilberry, Ch. Johnson, Ninkovich, Tuck (3.5 av) 18.29

(5.23)

8 Kelkowski Brown, Ratliff, Shelton, Avril, Griffen, Jenkins (3 av) 11.25

(3.75)

9 Dynablaster Bombermen Hill, K. Williams, Casey, Liuget, Wake, M. Williams (3 av) 11.00

(3.67)

10 East Flanders Dungeoneers Crawford, Marks, Ealy, Hayward, Lawrence, Paea (3 av) 10.25

(3.42)

 

Linebackers

1 Champions of the Sun Barr, Barrett, Bowman, Collins, Davis, Houston, Mack (4 av) 42.60

(10.65)

2 Dynasty of Sadness P. Brown, David, Irvin, M. Kendricks. T. Smith, Trevathan, Wagner (4 av) 34.22

(8.56)

3 DynaHarder Alonso, Clowney, Hightower, Laurinaitis, V. Miller, Mosely, Orakpo (3.83 av) 29.51

(7.70)

4 Kelkowski Alexander, Anthony, Cushing, Dansby, Greenway, D. Jackson, B. Marshall, Robinson, Ware (4 av) 30.68

(7.67)

5 Tamworth Two Attaouchu, Freeman, C. Jones, Kikaha, Kuechly, Posluszny, Williamson (3.67 av) 26.12

(7.12)

6 Dynaforone Firebirds Graham, D. Johnson, Ogletree, Peppers, Te’o, Timmons (3.5 av) 23.92

(6.83)

7 Dynablaster Bombermen Barwin, Dumervil, Elliott, Lee, C. Matthews, Shazier (4 av) 25.23

(6.31)

8 East Flanders Dungeoneers D. Davis, D. Harris, Ingram, M. Smith, Worrilow (4 av) 23.17

(5.79)

9 Here Comes the Brees Bradham, Butler, Hicks, Jenkins, Kennard, Lansanah, McPhee, Morgan, D. Smith, Tulloch (3.83 av) 20.91

(5.46)

10 Dynasore Losers Hali, Kerrigan, Kruger, Okafor, Rey, Suggs, Unga (3.67 av) 14.92

(4.07)

 

Secondary

1 Dynablaster Bombermen Breeland, V. Davis, Gilmore, Roby, Graham, Ihedigbo, Ward 38.88

(9.72)

2 Champions of the Sun Carrie, Carroll, Flowers, A. Jones, Norman, Church, R. Jones, Weddle 38.13

(9.53)

3 Kelkowski K. Jackson, J. Jenkins, Revis, J. Smith, M. Adams, Bethea, M. Jenkins, Nelson 33.70

(8.43)

4 Dynasty of Sadness Butler, Fletcher, Fuller, Gay, Berry, Matthieu, McDonald, Vaccaro 30.03

(7.51)

5 Tamworth Two Amukamara, Rhodes, Shields, Verner, Chancellor, Collins, Rolle, Whitner 28.96

(7.24)

6 Dynasore Losers J. Banks, Joseph, M. Peters, Logan, Gipson, Moore, Quin 28.18

(7.05)

7 DynaHarder Cox, Peterson, Talib, Webb, Bucannon, Cyprien, Pryor, Reid 26.74

(6.69)

8 Here Comes the Brees Darby, Hall, Toler, Verrett, T. Williams, Conte, R. Johnson, H. Smith, E. Thomas, S. Thomas 25.55

(6.39)

9 East Flanders Dungeoneers Haden, Harris, Maxwell, Clinton-Dix, Hill, Iloka, A. Williams 22.68

(5.67)

10 Dynaforone Firebirds Grimes, Sherman, Trufant, C. Williams, Barron, Burnett, Parker, Searcy 19.64

(4.91)

 

Below is a table that brings each team’s positional ranks, along with their offensive, defensive and overall average points, into one place for easy digestion.

Name QB RB Rec Spec OFF DL LB DB DEF OVR
Champs 4 3 4 4 110 4 1 2 105 216
T2 1 4 9 9 104 1 5 5 85 189
Harder 3 6 8 2 105 3 3 7 83 188
Losers 9 1 2 1 124 5 10 6 63 186
Rules 5 5 3 10 107 8 4 3 76 183
Breeses 6 2 10 8 104 2 9 8 74 178
Bombers 8 9 5 3 101 9 7 1 75 176
Sadness 10 8 6 7 92 6 2 4 81 173
Birds 2 10 1 6 111 7 6 10 62 173
Dung’s 7 7 7 5 98 10 8 9 56 154

 

The above table shows a clear leader and a clear trailer in terms of average overall score, with the other 8 teams clustered with only 15 points separating them from the Tamworth Two in 2nd to the Firebirds in 9th.

Champions of the Sun – The current front-runners for the Owl show good consistency across all categories, indicating playmakers in most spots. Although their offence is above average, the clear difference maker is the defence, scoring 20 points per week more than the 2nd best defence on average.

Tamworth Two – If I’d done this article last week the Hogs would not have been as high up the tables but that’s what scoring 280 points in a week will do for you. Unsurprisingly, having Aaron Rodgers as your QB lands you at #1 in the QB rankings but the dominant defence from last year is rolling back into form too, after a slow start. An injury to Alshon Jeffery has cost the receiving corps but that doesn’t explain #9 by itself. This is an area T2 should, and are, looking to improve but getting better at skill positions mid-season is never easy. Willie Snead should help but they may want to look at special teams too for an improvement.

DynaHarder – A hot start from the owners of last year’s #1 pick has tailed off somewhat but Chris and Steve’s team is still looking strong even with JJ Watt’s transformation into ‘normal NFL player’. Their low ranking at WR is nothing to worry about as the return of Ben Roethlisberger should carry Antonio Brown back to his previous heights and Martavis Bryant is also now back from suspension.

Dynasore Losers – Oh Peter. Peter, Peter, Peter. Should’ve quit while you were ahead. Manning’s struggles have sunk the Losers’ QB ranking but with Andy Dalton cemented at #1 on the Losers’ depth chart now and Derek Carr waiting to back him up the only way is up. Early-season predictions of doom from the Stat Blats were wide of the mark at RB but spot-on at linebacker where the Kruger/Kerrigan axis from last season has failed to hit form this year, leaving the Losers languishing. Their top scoring offence is covering for now but Slater may want to look into trading for some promising talent on his defence.

Kelkowski Don’t Play By No DynaRules – The Rules started slowly but are now rounding into better form, largely thanks to the return from injury of Arian Foster and the return from ‘getting dropped for a 2 yard loss on every play’ of DeMarco Murray. Expect that mediocre #5 rank at RB to rise. The big holes are at special teams (for a pair of owners who won’t shut up about the value of kickers and punters they don’t seem to have any good ones) and on the defensive line, where rookie tackles, people blowing their own fingers off and under-performing Everson Griffen have left them light. If I was Kelkowski I would be hitting the phones and sounding out other owners with depth at DT or DE on potential deals.

Here Comes the Brees – I thought this team were supposed to be terrible? Everybody told me they were terrible, including co-owner Ben Archee. Instead they’re a team with a few big holes and a few big strengths who have perhaps gone into full rebuilding mode too early. Their high ranking at DL is sure to drop with Aaron Donald traded away but the unlikely power-trio of Doug Martin, Devonta Freeman and Lamar Miller should carry them through at RB. Injuries to DeSean Jackson, Breshad Perriman, Steve Smith Sr and Victor Cruz have left them low at WR, hence the low ranking but, to my mind, there’s enough here to be optimistic.

Dynablaster Bombermen – Well, so much for the Stat Blats pre-season choice for the Owl. Through 6 games the Dynablaster Bombermen have underwhelmed and you can’t really point to any 1 thing as the reason why. The Falcons are 5-1 but Matt Ryan is no more than a low-end QB1 so far. What should have been one of the best RB groups currently looks like one of the worst, whether through injury, game plan or poor play. The saving grace for the Bombermen has been an overpowering set of playmakers in the secondary and solid special teams play. They’ve addressed the problems on the line already with the trade for Aaron Donald at least. In terms of action I think Hendy and Smith have taken the best course with that move. Their offence is horribly underperforming at the moment but the talent is there and this team will score very well when it breaks right. Don’t give up hope!

The People’s Republic of the 4th Dynmension: Dynasty of Sadness – New year, same problem. The Sadness are unlucky to be 1-5 with their average scores showing them to be at the same level as most other teams but they are let down, for the second season in a row, by poor QB play. Laycock and Simpson went all in on Teddy Bridgeeater and they have to be wondering if that was sensible at this point as the 2nd year QBs play has been questionable at best. Brock Osweiler sits on the bench, rubbing his hands gleefully at every wobbled pass thrown by Peter Manning but should the Sadness be looking to get in another pair of hands until that point? The Stat Blats think so. The rest of the team looks ok with no obvious holes except, maybe, DT but that position can be a lottery. A trade for Allen Bailey has shored up DE and the loss of Dez Bryant is always going to hit your receiving corps hard. TE is a position that could use a bump, having said that. How much for Gary Barnidge…

Dynaforone Firebirds – Is this a typo? What are the current champions doing languishing down here in 9th place on overall average score?! Look at those running backs (ranked 10th). Look at that secondary (ranked 10th). Look at those linebackers (ranked 9th). This is a team with some obvious strengths and some hideous weaknesses. Neil has been trying to address some of the holes on defence but without much luck so far. The secondary could do with an overhaul though. At this point it might be worth dropping the lot of them without guaranteed money and just picking up whoever the best free agents are. Could that end any worse? Injuries to Lynch and the underperformance of CJ Anderson explain the poor RB play but Hawke may well be regretting the trading away of Jeremy Hill in the summer (not that he’s done much better). Chris Johnson’s re-emergence and a recent trade for Ryan Matthews help here and should see the position pick up.

East Flanders Dungeoneers – Well done, Pete. You won a couple of games with this shower. Kudos. We knew it would be a long re-building process for the Dungeoneers and so it’s proving. Pete Conaghan is in the midst of a furious reshuffling that has seen him trade many of his players with short-term value for picks or multiple lottery ticket players. It was never going to be pretty in the short term. The offence has been competent, if inconsistent, but the defence is a disaster. What does Stat Blats recommend? Keep on keeping on, Pete. Keep on keeping on. And maybe don’t pick up quite as many Chargers.