Champions of the Sun

The town of Champions, New Mexico, has recorded the highest average annual temperature in a town with a population of at least 1000 for the last 29 years, the peak coming in 2007 at 39 degrees celsius. The highest temperature ever recorded in the United States also came in Champions, at 56 degrees celsius on August 14th, 2012.

It is against this Hellish backdrop that owner/GM Max Cubberley decided to set up his DynaBowl Fantasy Football franchise, embracing the reputation of the area as the heatstroke capital of the world* and naming his team Champions of the Sun.

Cubberley has looked East – to the Middle East no less – in his stadium design, employing super-cooling air conditioning systems developed in Qatar for the (soccer) World Cup, ensuring that while it may be sunny outside, it’s always possible that there might be snow inside.

The franchise financing is currently under IRS investigation given that, despite the money being spent on the stadium and salaries, the team is sponsored by a small bar in Philadelphia called Paddy’s Pub. The icy temperatures recorded in the stadium and said to be Cubberley’s attempt to replicate the icy hearts of all Philadelphians.

Fun fact! The mayor of Champions recently passed a bylaw making the public playing or performance of ‘We Are The Champions’ by Queen a misdemeanor with a $500 fine.

 

*More cases of heatstroke per capita were reported in Champions than anywhere else in the world in every year from 1996 to 2010, and again in 2012-13.

TimesYears
Champions22015, 2020
Runners Up0
Third Place12019
4th0
5th22016, 2017
6th22015, 2022
7th22018, 2021
8th0
9th0
10th0

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